Endgame
by RedHeadedFlame
Summary: "One day you are going to run out of excuses. Because you and me are endgame, Katniss. I know that. And deep down you know that too,"
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know it's been a while but I'm finally back with another new story. I'm excited to get back to my regular Monday postings. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter 1_

_18 years old_

Peeta is an ugly sleeper. Most of the girls in school would be dismayed at such a comment. They don't want to imagine the golden and handsome head boy as anything other than sheer perfection. But I'm his girlfriend and I know the truth. Peeta drools. He snores. And he manages to snuggle so far down into the pillow that he always wakes up with creases across his cheek the next day. Peeta Mellark is far from the adonis that the girls make him out to be. But I love him even more for it.

I scrunch up my nose as a bit of drool drops from the corner of his mouth and slithers down his chin. I push up onto my elbow so that I am in a better position to wake him. It's the last day of our trip on the Isle of Skye and I don't want to waste it watching him snore. There are so many better things we could be doing. I peer over his shoulder and lean my face close to his ear.

"Peeta, wake up," I whisper in his ear while shaking his shoulder.

Peeta lets out a really unattractive grunt before rolling onto his back and stretching his limbs. As he flings one of his limbs in the air, he accidently whacks me in the face and knocks me over.

"Hey! Those arms of yours are lethal!" I exclaim.

Peeta gives me a sleepy smile as he turns to grab my waist and pulls me on top of him.

"Well you shouldn't have woken me so suddenly," he says playfully.

I roll my eyes and Peeta reaches up to tuck my long dark hair behind my ear. I lower myself towards him until our foreheads touch and we brush our noses together.

"I suppose I could have woken you with kisses instead," I mumble against his lips.

"That definitely would have been preferable," Peeta replies.

He then tilts his lips up to meet mine in a slow kiss. My hands rest on his shoulders to steady myself and I open my mouth eagerly to let him in. Our tongues tangle together and Peeta's hands slide from my waist down to my arse. His gives my arse cheeks a cheeky squeeze and I pull back as I playfully swat him away.

"Keep those hands PG. I had a very different work out in mind for this morning," I say.

One of the benefits of being on Skye is that there are dozens of trails and hill walks to go on. I am my happiest when I am outdoors and there is no better feeling when I reach the top of the hill and look out at the view at the top. The walk we have today is said to have one of the best views on the island. I've been excited about this since we arrived.

Peeta grins as he gives my arse another squeeze.

"You're right. We don't want Madge to be mad at us for being behind schedule," he replies. He then tips his head up towards me again. "And besides, you've got really bad morning breath."

I playfully swot him again and Peeta laughs before reaching up for one last quick kiss. I smile as I watch him roll off the bed and head towards the shower. My eyes linger on his pert behind and Peeta must know I'm staring because he wiggles his arse just before he leaves our quaint little room. I laugh before falling back into the flowery pillows. This holiday has been close to perfect since we arrived but with Peeta gone my mind drifts to what will happen when we get back home to Edinburgh. I shake my head to push those thoughts away before getting out of bed and starting preparations for the day.

* * *

Peeta and I wander down the narrow wooden stairs, clad in lycra t-shirts, kaki shorts and muddy hiking books while we laugh and trade impressions of some of teachers from school. Two of our friends, Madge and Darius wait for us in the cosy kitchen. Madge must have been up early as all the empty beer bottles have been cleared away and the dirty plates and glasses have been stacked away in the doorless top cabinets. The wooden counter tops now gleam in the morning sunlight that streams through the large window above the porcelain sink.

Madge has a notepad out and checks things off as she puts things in her rucksack while Darius barely looks awake and he yawns as he sips on some coffee. Peeta pulls me into his front and rests his chin against my shoulder as he looks over at Madge.

"We're only going for a morning walk. Do we really need to take all this stuff?" he asks.

Madge looks up briefly after she has packed some energy bars into a side pocket.

"There's a reason the Scouts' motto is to always be prepared," Madge replies.

We all grin and Darius wipes the sleep out of his eyes.

"And that's why you were a far better Scout than I was," Darius says. "I got kicked out after accidently dropping all the matches in the river."

"You were a pretty awful Scout. You were the only person that managed to tie yourself to the chair while we were practising tying knots," Peeta adds.

Darius grins.

"We all have our talents. Knot tying isn't one of mine," he says.

I laugh.

"No. But downing a pint of beer in five seconds is one of yours," I say.

"I've spent years practising that particular talent," he says. Darius then closes his eyes and rubs his temples. "Though I'm paying for that skill today. I lost count of how many beers I drank last night."

"Mixing beer with vodka didn't help that either," Madge adds with a grin.

We all share a laugh before we begin reliving some of the events from last night. Madge's dad owns this cosy cottage on Skye and it's been the prefect venue for our last holiday of the summer. Madge's mum loves a floral print and has scattered it throughout the house. She's stencilled floral prints onto the cream walls and every cushion, curtain and bedsheet has some sort of flower on it. The house is also right next to the beach and far enough away from other houses that we can be as loud as we like in the evenings when the drinks come out and the music blares. We've gone mountain biking and hill walking and created so many memories.

But from next week we'll all start to go off to university. I'm staying in Edinburgh but Peeta is off down to Exeter and Madge is going up to Aberdeen. We don't know when we will all be together again and there has been a lot of reminiscing and hugging as a result. All of us are eager to make each moment count.

"Are we ready? I actually dreamed about getting to the top last night. I hope the view lives up to it," I say.

Madge checks one last thing off her list before nodding her head and looking back up at us.

"We've got everything we need. I'll just leave a note for the others to tell them we've left," she says.

I nod my head as I untangle myself from Peeta to turn to pick up my own rucksack. Peeta does the same but bends to place a kiss on my temple before we head out the door. We share a smile as he joins Darius and pats a sympathetic hand on our hungover friend's back. Madge scans over the kitchen one more time to double check we have everything before we follow the boys out the door.

The sun shines down on us as we set out on the dusty path and I pull out my sunglasses to put on. I then tighten the straps of my rucksack as the birds chirp happily in the trees that line the trail. Darius complains about the brightness hurting his eyes while Peeta starts singing to keep spirits high. I shake my head as I catch up with him and slip my fingers through his.

"I love the fact that you can't sing but you still sing as loud as you can anyway," I say.

"Yeah, Peet. You are not helping my headache," Darius adds.

"I don't know what you are both saying. My singing is amazing," Peeta replies with a grin.

"Yeah. Amazingly bad," Madge says, "There was a reason you got rejected from the school choir."

"I had a cold that day. That was the only reason I wasn't at my best," Peeta says.

Madge rolls her eyes but I snuggle into my boyfriend's side.

"Don't change, Peeta. I love the fact that you don't care what other people think," I say.

Peeta smiles at me before bending down for a kiss. Both Madge and Darius make gagging noises.

"I came on this walk for the views. Not to watch you two make out the whole time," Darius says.

"I'm not going to apologise for kissing my beautiful girlfriend," Peeta replies.

"We get it. The two of you are madly in love," Madge says. "We're not all lucky enough to find the love of our life at school."

Peeta and I both grin but the thought of what will happen after this trip resurfaces again. Peeta and I have been dating since we were fourteen and we've shared all our first together. But going to university changes things and I'm scared about that.

"I don't think I need to tell you that I think Peeta is the best," I say leaning my head against his shoulder.

Peeta smiles as he looks down at me and gives my hand a squeeze. I smile back at him and we don't talk about the future.

The walk isn't too strenuous and winds slowly up the hill. Trees line our path to begin with but as we get higher these thin out and instead we are surrounded by heather. At one point we have to skirt around a bog and the midges fly about and try to nip us as we cross. Darius has to stop a couple of times to throw up in the bushes but by the time we get to the top of the hill he is looking a bit brighter.

"We made it!" Darius exclaims as he throws his arms in the air. "I'm king of the World!"

Madge grins as she stands beside him. She then checks her watch.

"And we made good time. What a view for lunch," she says.

I nod my head in agreement as I look out at the view before me. The craggy hillside leads down to a leafy forest and a meandering river that reaches to the sea. The sun bounces off the water making it sparkle like diamonds and the faint outline of mainland Scotland can just be seen in the distance. A small smile spreads slowly across my face as a feeling of complete calm and contentment comes over me. I tilt my head towards the sun and enjoy the feel of the slight heat on my skin. I inhale deeply to soak every bit of this environment in.

I don't stop looking out until I hear Peeta's heavy tread come up beside me.

"I've never seen you so beautiful," he says.

I turn to him with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm sweaty and stinky. I'm hardly at my peak attractiveness right now," I reply.

Peeta shakes his head as he pulls me in by the waist.

"I disagree. You look so happy and peaceful. I've spent the last ten minutes memorising every single detail of you standing here from the way your hair catches in the sunlight to the exact glow in your eye. You won't be able to stop me sketching this later. I don't ever want to forget how you look right now," he says.

I smile up at him as he tucks a sweaty strand of hair behind my ear. Peeta is so much better at all the sentimental stuff compared to me and I sometimes feel that I don't express exactly just how much I love him.

"Well this view is made even better by the fact you're here with me. I love you," I say.

Peeta smiles at me and I step on to my toes to kiss him deeply. Peeta squeezes me tight and I savour the taste of him.

But we are interrupted by Madge as she calls to us as she begins unpacking the food and my stomach makes a loud rumble. Peeta chuckles as we pull back and he links his hand with mine.

"I've known you long enough now to know we need to feed you quick once your stomach starts making those noises," he says.

"Food is my first love in life. No offence," I say.

Peeta chuckles as we make our way over to our friends.

"Oh I know. That's how I got you to date me in the first place. I kept baking you cakes until you finally agreed to go out with me," he replies.

I grin as Peeta offers me a space to sit down and he then takes a seat next to me as Madge hands out the food. Darius starts talking about the plans for our last night as we munch on our sandwiches.

"We need to make tonight the best night we've had here. Who knows when we'll all be together again? We need all the classic drinking games. Beer Pong, Ring of Fire and Roxanne at least," he jabbers on.

I lean against Peeta's side and he places a kiss on top of my head before he suggest other games we could play and I try to ignore the fact that I don't really want to go home.

* * *

The journey back to the house is even more enjoyable than the journey up and Peeta and Darius make a competition on who can get back the quickest. They jostle and skip in front of each other and Madge and I laugh when their gentle shoving ends up with both of them falling into a bog. Darius scrunches his nose as he tries to shake some of the mud off him.

"Good thing there are no girls I'm trying to impress out here. Even I might struggle to pull while smelling like this," he says.

"Even in the middle of nowhere you think about pulling girls," Madge says.

"I'm a young blooded male. I barely think about anything else," Darius says with a grin.

Madge shakes her head.

"I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to let you out during Freshers week," I say.

Darius grins and flings his arm around my shoulder.

"I can't fucking wait for Freshers. Different club nights every day that week. Plenty of girls wearing hardly anything. It's heaven. And I'll have you as my wingman to help me get my tally up," he says.

"I am not helping you get one night stands. Haven't Madge and I taught you anything about how to treat girls?" I say.

"You have. I'll make sure to make any girl I bring home breakfast the next day," he says.

"That's not what I had in mind," I reply.

I love Darius but I do find the way he talks about girls inappropriate at times. He seems obsessed with pulling as many girls as possible without ever thinking about getting into a relationship. And the chat only gets worse when he is around his fellow rugby teammates. Madge and I have made it our mission in the last year to pull him up on it whenever he crosses the line.

"Girls are not prizes that you can collect, Darius. They have feelings," Madge says.

Darius sighs and hangs his head.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I didn't mean for it to sound like that," he replies.

Madge and I nod our heads, satisfied for now and we carry on with the rest of the journey.

When we finally get back to the house our other friends are on the beach throwing a frisbee about. We all drop our bags to run over to join them and it doesn't take long for two teams to form and a proper game to start up. Most of us are pretty competitive and underhand tactics start getting used quickly but it's all good natured and I can't help but laugh at the end even though my team loses.

As the afternoon goes on people begin to peel off to get ready for the night. Delly is unsurprisingly the first to go as it takes her a couple of hours for her to deem herself ready for night time celebrations. I'm the complete opposite and after a quick shower I pull on a pair of denim shorts and an old Rolling Stones t-shirt before heading down to the garden to help Madge set out all the deck chairs. A single cow watches us from the field on the other side of the fence and the boys start to argue over who is manning the barbeque. In the end they all end up losing as it is determined that I'm the best griller. Peeta slides his arms around my waist once Bristel and Thom have gone off in a little huff and I take over.

"I love it when you take control," he mumbles against my neck.

I smile as Peeta starts planting kisses on my neck and I tip my head to the side to let him have better access. He smells of the mint from his shower gel and wears a crisp white t-shirt that emphasises the tan he has managed to pick up while we have been here.

"I'm glad you are not intimidated by a strong woman," I reply.

"Not one bit. In fact it really turns me on," Peeta says as he places firmer kisses on my neck.

I sigh as I sink back into him.

"You're distracting me from the food. I don't want it to burn," I say.

"Then tell me to stop," Peeta as he kisses up towards my ear.

I smile but we're interrupted by Darius bounding towards us. He slams a bottle of apple sours down on the table next to us.

"Right, guys. It's the last night and we're starting with shots!" he exclaims.

Peeta reluctantly pulls back from me and looks at the green bottle.

"Apple sours? Really, Darius?" he says.

"Why not? It's the best tasting shot!" he exclaims. "Though don't tell the other rugby guys that."

I grin and shake my head as Darius pours us each a shot. We raise them to clink them together.

"To the best friends a guy can make at school!" Darius says.

"To best friends!" Peeta and I echo.

We then all tip the contents of the drink down our throats. Darius grins at us both once he has finished.

"Another one?" he says with a cheeky wink.

We laugh before nodding our heads and putting our glasses out to be topped up. As we are doing this, Delly bounces out the door wearing a short pink floaty dress and she makes sure her blonde curls are still in place before her eyes zone in on us. Her face then splits into a huge grin.

"Are you having shots without me?" she says. "You know that apple sours are my favourite."

I grin as I hand her my shot glass.

"I'm sure you'll catch up quickly," I say.

Delly thanks me for the shot and downs two in quick succession.

"That's the spirit, Del. You're going to rock it at Freshers week," Darius says.

Delly smiles as she slips her arm around his waist.

"Thanks, Darius. But I'm going to miss all you guys in Glasgow. What if I don't find anyone who likes karaoke as much as we all do? And there is going to be no one that remembers that time Darius stole the birdhouse from my neighbour's back garden," she says.

"You'll make loads of new friends, Delly. You are the friendliest person I know and I have never come across someone who doesn't like you," Peeta reassures her.

"Yeah. But it won't be the same. We all grew up together. Promise we'll all still keep in touch," Delly replies.

Darius gives her waist a little squeeze.

"Of course we will, Del. I'm already planning our reunion night out to Christmas Cav in December!" Darius announces.

Delly looks happier after this and gives him a little squeeze.

"Thanks. I love you guys so much," she says.

"We love you too, Delly," I say.

Everyone nods their heads but I have to get back to the barbeque and Peeta offers to get everyone drinks that aren't apple sours. The group around me disperses a little and Darius soon puts the music on. Delly squeals when Carly Rae's Jepson's _Call Me Maybe_ comes on and she grabs Lavinia and Madge's hands and pulls them up to dance. Madge sticks her hand our for Delly to twirl under while Lavinia works on her big fish, little fish, cardboard box dance. Darius soon joins them and the girls have to duck from his flailing limbs.

Eventually I finish up with the barbeque and once everyone has grabbed a plate of meat I join in with the rest of the festivities. Peeta and I don't stray from each other after the meal has finished and there isn't a moment where we don't seem to be touching, whether it's his finger tangling and twirling my hair or my hand on his thigh, we constantly seek contact with each other and I savour every little touch.

Lots of alcohol is drunk and Darius makes sure all the games are played. He is a gent when we play Ring of Fire and offers to drink the dirty pint when Delly picks the card for it. He stands up and gets us all to chant and clap before he tips the contents of the jug filled with beer, gin, vodka and tobasco sauce down his throat.

"Darius! Darius! Darius!" we all chant.

He gets about half the way down before he starts to struggle and begins to gag.

"Come on, mate! You can do this! The rugby initiation is worse than this!" Thom says.

Darius stops for a moment to take a deep breath and gives everyone a thumbs up.

"Don't worry, guys. I've got this," he says.

He raises the jug back to his lips again and we all cheer. Darius begins to drink again and the liquid starts to spill down his chin but we keep cheering and eventually Darius reaches the bottom of the jug. He lets out an almighty cheer and slams the jug back down. He then whips off his shirt and bangs his chest in triumph.

"Fuck yes! I am amazing!" he declares.

We all laugh and cheer while Delly pops up and places a kiss on his cheek.

"My hero. Thank you for volunteering to do that for me," she says.

Darius grins.

"My pleasure. What are friends for?" he replies.

Delly smiles at him but then Darius suddenly goes a bit green. He places his hand over his mouth.

"Excuse me but I need to run to the toilet," he says.

He then turns and sprints inside quicker than Usian Bolt. Some of us laugh as I turn to face Peeta. I brush some hair off his face as I lean in closer to him.

"Thank God you didn't have to drink that. It would have made kissing you harder," I say.

"Well there is nothing stopping you now," he replies with a grin.

"I guess not," I say.

I then close the remaining distance between us and we kiss each other slowly. I'm vaguely aware of some of our friends wolf whistling as we continue but neither of care. Peeta tangles his fingers in my hair and I squeeze him tight. Peeta has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine loving anyone more.

* * *

I'm not sure what time we eventually get to bed but at least Peeta and I up sleeping in a bed. When we wake the next morning we find Darius passed out on the sofa, still with his shirt off and tobacco sauce dried around his mouth in the living room.

The mood is a lot more sombre this morning as we pack to leave. Everyone is aware this is the last time we will all be together before we head off in different directions to go to uni. Madge oversees that everyone packs the right things and makes sure we leave the house in a clean state for her father. Once everyone is finished we all stand in a circle, none of us quite sure what to say.

I stand tucked into Peeta's side and he places a kiss on top of my head before speaking to the rest of the group.

"This has been one hell of a holiday," he starts. "Madge, thanks for keeping us all organised and making sure none of us got lost. Darius, I will never forget your rendition of _Barbie_ _Girl_ on the first night. Thom and Bristel, please never try to make chilli again and Lavinia I'm going to miss having you on my Pictionary team. I'm so glad to call you all my friends."

Delly sniffs back a tear as she nods her head.

"I've got so many memories from this trip. We should make this trip an annual thing. I don't want to lose any of you as friends," she says.

We all nod our heads in agreement but the truth is that none of us know if we will still all be friends in a year's time. Enough of the group have older siblings to know that some friends from school always fall by the wayside once we leave school.

"Thanks for all coming," Madge says. "I'm going to miss you all."

More nodding of heads and then we start hugging each other goodbye. Thom, Bristel, Delly and Lavinia get in one car while the rest get into Peeta's car. Thom's car sets off first and we wave through the window as they drive off. We follow behind soon after and Madge and Darius start arguing which playlist to play on the way back. I sink back into the car seat and hold on tightly to all the memories we made here.

The journey is several hours long and we drop Darius and Madge off first. Silence falls in the car as soon as they get out and my heart sinks in my chest. I don't want to get home.

Eventually Peeta pulls up outside my house and he cuts the engine. The silence lingers as a nauseous feeling rises up inside of me. Peeta fidgets in his seat and wipes his hand roughly against his jeans. Neither of us can look at each other.

We are broken out of the silence by the sound of Peeta's phone beeping. He scrambles to get it and I finally turn to look at him.

"It's my dad. He wants to know if I'll be home soon," he says.

"He will have missed you while we've been away. He didn't have his partner in crime in the kitchen," I say.

Peeta and his dad are extremely close. His dad taught him how to bake and they even have matching aprons to wear in the kitchen together. Peeta spoke to his dad for at least an hour every night while we were away and I'm sure Wheaton will be desperate to have his son back.

"He's going to miss me even more when I'm in Exeter," Peeta replies.

I go quiet at the mention of Exeter. Peeta got accepted to study graphic design down there at uni. It's a seven-and-a-half-hour journey to get to the English city from Edinburgh and a long way to go to see him.

Peeta pauses before eventually turning to speak to me.

"We can't keep just ignoring it any longer, Katniss. We made a deal," he says.

He's right. We did make a deal and I've been trying to forget about it the entire summer. But summer is almost over and it's time we faced it.

"I know. I just didn't think it would be this hard," I reply.

Peeta reaches for my hands and squeezes them tight.

"I'm finding it hard too. I love you so much, Katniss. I don't want us to break up," he says.

"But we have to," I say.

Peeta nods his head sadly. This was our deal. Enjoy the summer together and then separate just before we go off to uni.

Peeta rubs his thumb across my knuckles and I try to memorise the feel of his skin against mine. After today I won't get that luxury.

"I really wish we didn't have to but I saw what going to uni did to my brothers' relationships. They both went to uni with girlfriends but the distance became too hard. Bran ended up hating Clove. I don't want that to happen with us. I can't end up hating you," he says.

We've talked about this a lot. Exeter is just too far away from Edinburgh to make our relationship work. We know we both love each other but we also both want to make the most of our time at uni. We want to make new friends and try new things. That would be harder if we spent every other weekend travelling to see each other. And we don't want to be jealous of all the things the other is doing without us. We're both so young and have so much life to experience. Sometimes loving each other just isn't enough.

"I don't want that either," I say. "I know breaking up is the right thing to do but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell right now."

Peeta nods his head in agreement and reaches out to cup my cheek.

"I love you, Katniss. Letting you go is the hardest thing I've had to do," he says.

I lean into his hand and put my hand around his neck to draw him closer to me.

"I love you too, Peeta. I don't want to forget us," I say.

"You won't. You're still going to be in my life. Even if it's just as a long distance friend you message every now and again when you get bored," he replies.

"You will always be more than that to me, Peeta," I say.

"Yes. And you will always mean more to me too," he says.

I tip my head up and our lips meet. The kiss starts of soft at first but soon builds in intensity. Peeta pulls me towards him and I pour every ounce of my love for him into that one kiss. I want to leave him with a kiss he will never forget. I want him to know he will always have part of my heart.

The kiss slows again until we have break apart and I am left siting on his lap with my forehead leaning against his. Once I get out this car we'll be over. We will no longer be boyfriend or girlfriend but two school friends who are about to live in different parts of the country. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

We stay sitting like that until I get cramp in my leg, not wanting to say anything more and ruining the moment. Slowly I untangle myself from him and Peeta gets out to open the door for me. He offers to carry my bags and walks me to the door. He puts the bags by my feet and reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"This isn't goodbye," he says.

He then leans to place one last soft kiss on my lips and turns to walk away. I watch him go with a huge ache in my chest and struggle to hold back the tears.

I hope we haven't just made the biggest mistake of our lives.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that followed/favourited/reviewed the first chapter. As many of you predicted this is going to be a bumpy ride for Everlark!**

_Chapter 2_

_18 years old_

Mariah Carey's _All I want for Christmas_ plays in the background. Cheap tinsel hangs off nearly every cupboard and my flatmate, Johanna, has managed to find a coloured light show that changes in time with the bass of the music. I haul up another box of wine onto our kitchen table and then stand back to survey the assortment of drink that we have on offer tonight.

"I'm not sure we have got enough mixer for tonight. We don't want a repeat of the last flat party we had. Thresh ended up using Ribena with his vodka," I say.

Johanna smirks as she appears from the bathroom wearing black jeans, a tight red vest top and black choker around her neck. She's just applied a new layer of eye liner and she ruffles the red tips of her short, spikey hair before sauntering over and pouring herself a drink.

"Everyone still talks about that party. I think the vodka and Ribena are what helped make it legendary," Johanna replies.

I laugh as I remember some of the moments from that party. Johanna challenged and managed to beat most of the boys in an arm wrestle. Darius stripped to his boxers and taught us all a line dance routine to a Shania Twain song and Thresh managed to get himself stuck in the drying rack in the hall. After that party, our flat gained the reputation of hosting the best parties.

I've been living in this student flat since I started uni in September and I've been pretty lucky with the flatmates I got. There are four of us in total and I've become pretty close to Thresh and Johanna already. They are complete opposites in many ways, Johanna being loud and fiery while Thresh is more of a quiet gentle giant, but we all have a similar sense of humour and love spending times outdoors. It is only our fourth flatmate, Claudius, that we all find a bit weird. He spends most of the time in his room and has a real thing about germs. He won't even hold his phone without a handkerchief around it. Most of the time he complains about how messy we leave the flat and lectures us on Russian politics. He couldn't wait to go back to his home in Fife for the holidays and left straight after his last exam this week. The rest of us decided to stick around a bit longer to throw a Christmas party.

Thresh bustles through the door a moment later carrying carrier bags full of food. He dumps them all down on the nearest kitchen counter before shrugging out of his thick grey winter coat.

"Got in some pizzas. Thought we would all probably want some later tonight," he says.

"Good call. I think we are all set now," I reply.

Johanna nods her head as she finishes mixing drinks and then hands us all a glass.

"Do I even want to know what is in here?" I ask.

"Alcohol. That's all you need to know," Johanna replies.

Thresh and I share a grin before taking a sip. I splutter a little at the strong taste of alcohol but the second sip tastes better and I take a bigger gulp. Thresh then encourages us to all raise our glasses.

"Cheers, girls. Thanks for being some pretty awesome flatmates," he says.

"Fuck yeah we are!" Johanna says.

"Cheers," I reply.

We all then clink our glasses and take another sip. Johanna lets out a satisfied sigh and then looks at her watch.

"People will start arriving soon," she says. "I have to say, Katniss, I'm curious about what some of your school friends are going to be like. Are they all as funny as Darius?"

"I think so. But it's going to be a little strange seeing them all again. I haven't seen most of them since we started uni. Everything I know about what they have been doing is through what I see on Facebook," I reply.

Thresh nods his head.

"Yeah, it's weird how quickly you forget about some people," he says.

Johanna shrugs her shoulder.

"I went to a tiny school in the middle of nowhere. There's no one I miss from back home. You guys are fucking ten times better than anyone from back there," she says.

I smile, grateful that Johanna thinks of us so highly but also a little sad that it has taken her this long to find people she cares about.

"Isn't your ex coming tonight, Katniss?" Thresh asks.

"Peeta, yeah," I reply.

I then look down and pretend to check my phone.

I haven't seen Peeta since we broke up after the trip to Skye. We've messaged a few times, asking how the other is going at uni but nothing too deep. It was really hard in the beginning because it felt like part of me was missing and I wasn't that much fun as I tried to come to terms of who I am without him. It was just easier not to speak to him because if we talked too long to each other we began to miss each other and I felt like I was back at square one again.

But it's gotten easier the last several weeks. I've settled in to uni and thrown myself into the experience. I find myself wishing that Peeta was here less now and several days will go by without me thinking about him.

Johanna sighs.

"I have no idea why you still want to be friends with your ex. Exes are exes for a reason," she says.

"But Peeta and I didn't break up with each other because we didn't love each other anymore. Timing just wasn't right," I reply.

Johanna shakes her head.

"It's weird, Katniss. I don't see the point of clinging onto the past. When we first met you spent so much time pining for the guy. You've gotten over him now and I think you should keep him in the past," she says.

"Peeta was always my best friend first and my boyfriend second. I don't want to lose that friendship," I say.

Johanna still looks unconvinced but she doesn't want to argue about it with me anymore.

"Well I'm going to check him out tonight. If he's still in love with you, I'm advising you to stay away from him. Otherwise it's all going to end in tears," she says.

I shake my head but then the buzzer to our flat goes and the first people start to arrive.

I greet everyone with a big smile and Merry Christmas but I find myself constantly looking over at the door. I may have told Johanna that I was fine with seeing Peeta again, but as the prospect of seeing him grows closer I get more nervous. I'm terrified that things are going to be weird between us and that we are not going to know how to talk to each other. I just want us to be friends again.

Madge and Delly distract me a little as I wait for Peeta to arrive. I have already seen Madge once when she came down from Aberdeen for her Mum's birthday but Delly chats a million miles a minute about everything she has done since I last saw her.

"Marvel and I went ice-skating last weekend but he was so hopeless. He couldn't skate if he wasn't holding onto the edge. And then as we were coming off he slipped and he pulled me down with him! But he was a gentleman and cushioned the fall. I didn't care that kids were watching. I just had to kiss him!" Delly exclaims.

Madge and I share a look. Delly has started seeing her first boyfriend and she has barely stopped talking about him since she arrived. Every single story she has told has involved him and when she isn't talking about him she is on her phone messaging him.

"He's out with some of his school friends in Glasgow but he says he's missing me. Isn't that sweet?" she adds.

I smile and nod but feel a strange sense of disconnect to my school friend. By all sounds, Marvel is a huge part of her life now but I don't know him and as a result I feel like I really don't know her anymore.

"I'm glad you are having such a good time in Glasgow, Delly. Do you want another drink?" I ask.

Delly nods her head eagerly.

"Another vodka and coke please," she says.

I smile before I turn to get her drink. Even as I walk away I can hear her talking about Marvel.

As I'm pouring the vodka the buzzer goes off again. Instinctively my head turns to the door and my heart beats a little harder in anticipation. Thresh is the first person to answer the door and he is immediately engulfed in a massive bear hug by Darius.

"Merry Christmas, mate! I know the party doesn't start without me," he exclaims.

Thresh grins back. Darius is the only one of my school friends that stayed in Edinburgh too and has been embraced by new flatmates.

"Johanna has been eagerly awaiting your arrival. She's been drinking everyone else under the table and wanted some proper competition," Thresh replies.

Darius grins wider as he holds up more alcohol.

"I came prepared," he replies.

Thresh laughs and steps aside to let him but Darius is followed behind by someone else.

"Hi. Merry Christmas. I'm Peeta," he says.

Immediately my face breaks into a huge smile and my feet begin to walk towards him before I can think. It takes Peeta a moment to notice me but he also grins broadly when he catches sight of me. I eagerly push past people until I am standing right in front of him.

He looks good. His hair has recently been cut and is neat against his scalp. He hasn't seemed to put on the weight that most people do during their first year of uni and even a woolen Christmas jumper with reindeer knitted across his collarbone can't hide his broad shoulders. His blue eyes still have that same cheeky sparkle to them.

But when I get to him I suddenly realise I don't know how to greet him. I can't greet him with a kiss like I used to and I'm not sure if a hug is still too intimate. I step forward to wrap my arms around him but pull back at the last second, deciding against it.

"Hi, Katniss," he says with a smile.

"Hey. Thanks for coming," I reply.

"Thanks for inviting me. Darius was telling me on the way over how awesome your flat parties are," he says.

I nod my head.

"We've had a lot of fun here already," I say.

I cringe a little at how formal we sound. But I'm not really sure where to begin with Peeta. Maybe I should have thought about these conversations a bit more before he arrived. I don't want this to be awkward.

Bu Johanna suddenly appears from nowhere and slings an arm around Peeta's shoulder.

"You must be Peeta. I could sense the awkwardness from across the room," she says. "I'm Katniss' flatmate Johanna."

"You can trust Johanna to make any awkward situation more awkward," Darius replies.

"I just say things how they are," she says. She then turns to Peeta. "And you're coming with me until I find out what your intentions are with Katniss."

Peeta turns to me with a grin.

"I can see why you like Johanna. Life is too short to bullshit around," he says.

"Good start, Blondie," Johanna says. "Come on. Alcohol will be needed for this conversation."

Peeta flashes me one more grin before he is dragged away by Johanna. Thresh shakes his head.

"I don't think Peeta knows what type of interrogation he's in for," he says.

"Peeta's a big boy. I think he'll be able to handle himself," Darius says. He then turns to me. "He is pretty excited to see you tonight."

"I'm glad he came," I reply.

I turn to look over at him and Johanna and smile when I see him laughing with her. One of Thresh's friends calls him over and he too steps away from us. Darius shakes his head.

"It's weird not seeing you two hang off each other all night," he says.

"We're weren't that bad," I reply.

Darius laughs.

"You two couldn't move without the other reacting in some way. Your bodies were scarily in sync," he says.

I shake my head.

"That part of our relationship is over. I just want to be his friend," I say.

Darius raises his eyebrow.

"We'll see how long that lasts," he says.

I shake my head at him and then Madge suddenly appears by our sides.

"I couldn't handle Delly's chat any more. I do not need to know every one of Marvel's favourite cheeses," she sighs.

"Delly has always been the biggest romantic out of us. I guess we shouldn't be surprised she is excited about her first boyfriend," I reply.

"I guess you're right. But I'm going to need more alcohol before I can listen to more stories about him. I feel his dick size and sexual technique are the next items on her agenda," Madge says.

Darius grins broadly and throws his arm around her shoulder.

"That's the Christmas spirit! I want to keep everyone smiling," he declares.

"Show me your dance moves and that's a guarantee," Madge says with a smile.

Darius drops his arm from around her shoulder and begins to do some very bad _Saturday_ _Night Fever_ moves. Madge and I both laugh and Darius grins in triumph. He then does an exaggerated bow and encourages us to cheer him. I whoop as Darius straightens back up and turns to Madge.

"How are you doing anyway? Any boys on the scene?" he asks.

Madge shakes her head.

"I've had a few cheeky kisses in clubs but I'm too busy enjoying meeting people to want anything serious," she replies.

"How would you feel about a kiss under the mistletoe tonight then? Please let me be your wingman. I have excellent taste in picking out hot guys," Darius says.

Madge raises her eyebrow and I nod my head in confirmation.

"Darius has surprisingly good taste in men. Every hot guy Johanna has pulled since the start of uni Darius has pointed out to her," I say.

Madge looks impressed.

"Okay. I'll accept your offer. And of course I will offer to wing woman you," she says.

"Oh Madge, I'm flattered that you think I need your help. I'm already in double figures for number of girls I slept with this term," Darius replies.

"Double figures! That's disgusting, Darius!" Madge exclaims.

I nod my head in agreement.

"I told him off after her slept with three different girls in one week. You don't even take any of these girls out on dates. You just pick them up in a club, sleep with them and never speak to them again. Do you honestly feel good after it?" I say.

"I'm living every eighteen-year-old boys' dream. Any boy my age that says they want to settle down right now is lying," he says.

"That's really sad if it's true," I reply.

Darius shrugs his shoulder.

"At least I'm honest with every girl I take home. I make it clear I don't want anything more," he says.

"Well I hope that you don't miss out on a really good girl because you stick to that attitude," I say.

Darius rolls his eyes.

"I think we need to agree to disagree on this one. But I want to state that I agree with Katniss. I think the girls you go home with deserve better," Madge says.

There is then a short pause while Madge surveys the room. Slowly she brings her eyes back to Darius.

"So let's see just how good your taste in men is? Who is my best bet for tonight?" she asks.

The grins appears back on Darius' face and he narrows his eyes as he scans the room. He spends a long time looking over the options before his eyes light up and he turns Madge to look in the same direction as he is. Madge's eyes follow his pointed finger.

"Cato Armstrong. Spends a lot of the time at the gym and has killer biceps. Plus he has some of the bluest eyes I have ever seen," Darius says.

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that much detail in his description," Madge replies.

"I take my duty of wingman very seriously," he says. "So what do you think?"

Madge stands back to admire our blond friend. Slowly she lets a smile spread across her face.

"He's definitely athletic looking which is my type. Does he have any decent chat?" she asks.

"He studies law with Thresh and has a lot of opinions. He's definitely more than a gym bunny," I reply.

Madge nods her head satisfied.

"Okay. I'll let you introduce us," she says.

Darius grins and claps his hands together. He then raises his hand to his mouth to call Cato over.

Cato looks a bit startled at being shouted at but he soon finishes his conversation to wander over to see what Darius has to say. He claps Darius on the shoulder when he reaches us and they then clink beer bottles together.

"Merry Christmas, mate. I'm surprised to not to see a girl wrapped around you yet!" Cato says.

"It's still early in the evening," Darius replies with a wink.

He then places a hand on Cato's back and turns him to face Madge. Madge twirls the straw in her glass and looks up through her eyes sultrily.

"Cato, have you met my friend, Madge?" Darius says.

Cato stuffs his free hand in his pocket as his eyes sweep over Madge. His eyes linger over her long legs that are showed off in her short sparkly skirt and an appreciative smile spreads across his face.

"I don't believe I have. You look gorgeous by the way," Cato replies.

"Thank you. I was admiring your arm muscles in this shirt across the room," Madge replies.

Cato grins as he flexes a muscle.

"Thanks. These muscles make it easy for me to pick a girl up and twirl her around," he says suggestively.

"If you make me laugh I might just let you do that," Madge says.

Darius and I roll our eyes at each other while Cato completely turns his back on us so his attention is solely on Madge.

"How come Darius has kept you hidden away? Are you at Edinburgh?" he asks.

"No. I'm up at Aberdeen studying medicine," Madge replies.

"Ah. So brains and beauty," Cato says.

"That's what it says on my business card," Madge flirts.

"I'm definitely digging a sexy doctor look," he says. "Are you enjoying it?"

Madge nods her head eagerly and her eyes light up. She loves talking about her studies.

"I'm loving it. I used to always play doctor as a kid so this seemed like a natural progression," she says with a grin.

Cato nods his head.

"When do you have to specialise in the type of medicine you want to focus on? I bet you want to go into paediatrics," he says.

Madge frowns.

"Why would you think that?" she says.

Cato shrugs his shoulder.

"I don't know. Don't most girls want to go into paediatrics?" he replies.

Madge now crosses her arms over her chest.

"I think you are being a bit stereotypical. Just because women are portrayed as being better with kids doesn't mean we all want to go into paediatrics. I want to get into surgery," she says.

Cato scoffs and Darius and I share a worried look. We haven't seen this side of Cato before.

"Well good luck with that. I don't think many women make it as surgeons. Most women can't handle the pressure of it," he says.

The steam can particularly be seen coming out of Madge's ears.

"No. You are just being sexist. It's a total myth that women can't handle the pressure of surgery. The main thing that hinders us is arrogant men like yourself believing women can't do it and not giving us a fair chance," Madge replies.

Cato puts his hands up in defence as he senses the flirty banter disappearing.

"Hey. Don't get mad at me. I'm just being honest about the situation. The problem is that women just want it all now and then blame men when they don't get it," he says.

I shake my head.

"When exactly was it you were born? Because that view is at least twenty years out of date. Women are proving we are just as capable as men," I say.

Madge nods her head in agreement.

"You're right that men will make it harder for me to become a surgeon but I'm pretty determined and I know I'm clever enough. Trying to prove men like you wrong just gives me extra motivation," she says.

Cato hangs his head, realising he's onto a losing thing.

"It was nice to meet you but clearly we have very different views on things," Madge says.

Darius puts a hand on Cato's shoulder.

"Sorry, mate. How about I get you another drink?" he says.

Cato nods his head and Darius leads him away from Madge. She then turns to me with a huff.

"He may be hot but I'm not going to lower my morals for a Christmas kiss," she says.

I smile sympathetically at her.

"How about we dance to cheer you up? I can get Thresh to put on _5, 6, 7, 8_," I say.

Madge finally smiles again.

"That sounds like a great idea," she says.

We then link hands and go off to find Thresh to request the next song. It doesn't take long for the song to come on and we start doing the dance moves, taking it way too seriously but still laughing at the same time.

* * *

I'm thirsty after the dancing so head to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. However on my way back I bump into Peeta. He sticks out his arms to steady me and a huge grin spreads across his face.

"I feel we didn't properly greet each other when I arrived. Come here for a hug," he says.

I smile as I step into his arms. I've had enough alcohol now to not second guess my actions. His arms instantly wrap around me and my head finds the familiar space on his chest. Neither of us say anything for a moment as we hold each other in content.

"You still smell the same," I say as I nuzzle into his chest.

Peeta pulls back slightly and tucks some hair behind my ear.

"And what exactly do I smell like?" he asks. "Please tell me it isn't something bad."

"Cinnamon and dill. You must still be baking," I reply.

Peeta chuckles as we fully step away from each other and he reaches to scratch his ear.

"I was helping dad make his mince pies today. I may have eaten more than I made though," he says.

"Oh, your dad's mince pies are the best," I say.

Peeta grins at me.

"I left a tub of them in your kitchen," he replies.

"You know me so well," I say with a grin.

"I have managed to save money at uni from not having to keep baking you baked treats," he says.

"So now I know the real reason we broke up. It was to save your bank balance," I tease.

"Well I didn't know how to tell you at the time but now you mention it…" he says.

We both share a laugh and I feel the last of the awkwardness slip away.

"I'm so glad you're here. No one else has the exact same sense as humour as me," I say.

"I wouldn't have missed this, Katniss. It's been really strange not talking to you every day," he replies.

"It has," I admit before a short pause. "But I think breaking up was the best thing for us. There's been so much going on since I started uni and we would have missed so much of that if we kept travelling back and forth to see each other."

"Totally agree. Did I tell you I joined the frisbee golf club? All those games of ultimate frisbee up in Skye paid off and I'm now one of the star players in the club," he says triumphantly.

"Oh my God! Please tell me that they make you wear a uniform," I laugh.

"Long tartan socks and green cap," he replies with a grin.

"Wow. I bet you attract all the girls in that outfit," I say.

Peeta shrugs his shoulders.

"Well I haven't wanted to attract a girl yet but will note your advice if I do go out on the pull," he says.

My hearts stops a little at the mention of him going on other dates. I may not want to date him at the moment but that doesn't mean that the thought of him dating someone else doesn't tie my stomach in knots.

"You really haven't tried to pick up a girl?" I ask a little nervously.

"No. Not even come close to kissing a member of the opposite sex. I've been too busy getting over you," he says.

I let out an internal sigh of relief.

"I haven't kissed any one either," I reply and I think I see a tiny bit of relief in Peeta's eyes too. "At school we were barely seen as separate people. We were always referred to as Katniss and Peeta. It's been kind of nice being my own person and I want it to stay that way for a while."

Peeta smiles and nods his head.

"I literally told my dad something similar just before I left to come here," he says.

"I'm glad we're on the same page. I really want us to be friends," I say.

"I think we can make friends work. I can't imagine not having you in my life in some way," he replies.

"Good," I say hooking my arm through his. "Let's start by teaming up for beer pong. I haven't beaten Johanna since we've met and I've been bragging about your skills."

"Sounds like a good challenge. Though I have to admit that Johanna scares me a little. She asked a lot of questions," he says.

"She scared me too when we first met. But she's fiercely loyal. She wants to make sure I don't get hurt," I reply.

Peeta nods his head as we walk back through and I call Johanna and Thresh over for a game of beer pong. Johanna sets up the game in rapid speed while Peeta makes me laugh as he pretends to stretch his arm to warm up. Thresh and Johanna win the toss to start and the competition gets fiery from the very beginning. Good natured banter flies back and forth while Peeta and I do our best to distract our opponents. In-between points we sip on more beer and Peeta's hand rests on my waist. I'm the first to jump on him when he makes a good shot and I can't remember the last time I have so much fun.

In the end it doesn't matter that Johanna beats me for the hundredth time. I've got Peeta back in my life.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

_18 years old_

The club is busy tonight. Bodies are packed closely together as drunk people try to keep in time to the music. Coloured lights scan and flash above our heads The heat in the room is almost too much and there is sweat on the walls. But the music is good and I let the loud bass of the music reverberate through my bones as I swing my hips from side to side.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see a long-legged blond wrapped around Darius. Her hands wander all over his body but his hands stay surprisingly still on her waist, almost like he doesn't know what to do with them. Johanna and Thresh dance beside me. Although Thresh's dancing is more of a shuffle while bobbing his head in time with the music. Johanna is the complete opposite and she drops and spins inbetween grinding up against Thresh and me in her leather skirt and ripped band t-shirt.

She then turns her attention to me, grabbing my hips and making me move in time with her.

"You can dance better than that, Everdeen," she shouts into my ear. "I saw those dance moves on top of the pool table last week!"

I laugh and shake my head before exaggerating the movements of my hips. I start moving them in a figure of eight pattern and Johanna grins at my new enthusiasm. But I get a little too enthusiastic and as my hip movements get bigger I step back and step on someone's toe. I hear a little yelp and I turn around to apologise. The music makes it difficult to be heard in here so I put my hands on the stranger's shoulders so I can push up onto my toes and talk into his ear.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise that my dancing had to come with a health warning," I say.

The stranger puts his hands on my waist to steady me and then a grin appears across his face as his eyes sweep over my body in the tight long sleeved black dress with a large red and yellow flower print.

"No worries. I've still got all my toes. How about a dance to make up for it?" he replies.

I smile as I remove my hand from his shoulder to give it to him. He's not bad looking. He wears a white t-shirt underneath an open pale blue shirt. His short brown hair is neatly styled and he's tall. Plus his eyes are the colour of chocolate and would make any girl swoon. Johanna nudges me in the back and gives me a look to encourage me to say yes.

"I think I can do that," I reply.

The stranger gives me a sultry smile and I step in closer to him. His hands rest just above my arse cheeks while I loop my arms around his neck. The bass of the song encourages us to press closer together as the song proceeds and it doesn't take us long for our bodies to be flush together. My hands stroke down his back and one dips underneath his t-shirt. His hand gains the courage to sweep across my arse cheeks and I tilt my head up so that my lips are an inch away from his. We bounce in time with the music and when the next drop in the music comes I push up on my toes and kiss him.

This is not the first stranger I've kissed in a club. It first happened on a night out at the end of January and over the last three months I've kissed a handful of strangers since. It's never gone further but I've found it the perfect solution for this point in my life. I'm thoroughly enjoying being single and forming my own identity. I've tried so much since I started uni from kayaking to star gazing and I don't want to have to fit a boyfriend into my life at the moment.

That's why kissing strangers is the perfect solution. I never see them again and don't have to make a commitment but I can still get a little bit of intimacy when I crave it. I've had to stop giving Darius a hard time for picking up a different girl every night because I can now see the appeal of the situation.

This guy is one of the better strangers I've kissed. Not too much spit and salvia and he does like to vary the pace of the kiss. It's nice to get lost in someone for a moment.

Johanna and Thresh dance around behind him and then start pulling silly faces to distract me. I use my hand on the guy's back to give them the finger and they laugh before I spin the guy around so I can no longer see them.

I'm not sure how long the guy and I stand there kissing but we eventually come up for air and I try to give him a sexy smile.

"You're a good kisser," I say.

The guy smiles and starts to say something but then he suddenly goes pale and his hand flies to his mouth as he tries to choke something back.

"I'm sorry," he says before turning and dashing towards the toilets.

But he doesn't make it and he stops to put his hand on the wall as he throws up by the stairs. My eyes widen as a bouncer clasps him on the shoulder and asks him to leave. When I turn to Johanna and Thresh they are both creasing themselves with laughter.

"Wow, Katniss. Didn't realise your breath was so bad it makes people sick," Thresh says.

"That was the best thing I've ever seen! Maybe it was your technique that was the problem," Johanna teases.

"He's drunk. We're all drunk. My kissing and breath are perfectly fine," I reply.

"I don't know about that. Maybe you should give me a kiss so we can find out," Johanna says puckering her lips.

I shake my head as I give her a little shove. She laughs again and I know this isn't going to be forgotten in a hurry.

"It could have been worse," Thresh says. "He could have thrown up while you were kissing."

I shudder at the thought.

"And I think with that it's time to go home. This night isn't going to improve after that," I say.

Johanna grins and Thresh nods his head in agreement. We then manage to untangle the girl wrapped around Darius and we all head back to the flat.

Everyone is in good spirits in the taxi ride back home and Johanna delights in re-enacting my kissing disaster to Darius. He also finds it hilarious and we all stumble into the flat laughing. Thresh puts a pizza in the oven and we put on some cheesy 90s pop while we wait for it to cook. However Darius is only half way through his rendition of Britney Spears when our fourth flatmate appears from his room.

"Some of us were asleep before you all came thundering in," Claudius says grumpily.

Thresh turns off the music immediately and we all hang our heads guiltily.

"Sorry Claudius. We thought you were staying with your family tonight," I say.

"I had too much studying to do, which is what university is about. Not going out and getting drunk," he says.

"We're just going to bed, Claudius. Just as soon as the pizza is finished. We'll keep it down," Thresh says.

Claudius nods his head sharply before marching back to his room.

"I see that he hasn't gotten any more fun," Darius says.

"I sort of feel sorry for him. I don't think he's made many friends," I say.

"Well you're not going to make many friends with that attitude. Getting drunk with your friends is definitely an important part of uni. It's a bonding experience," Johanna says.

"Careful, Johanna. You are almost sounding sentimental," I say with a grin.

Johanna throws a cushion at my face.

"You will never hear me make an emotional or soppy declaration," she says.

I chuckle and then Johanna pulls out her phone.

"And before Darius starts his drunk ramblings about how much he loves us all I'm going to turn in and text Blight. A good fuck is exactly what I need after your accusations of sentimentally, Katniss," she adds.

"We love you too, Johanna," I reply.

"Whatever. See you later, wankers," she says.

She then gets up off the sofa and strolls to her room. The pizza then finally comes out and I swear Darius manages to shove a whole piece in his mouth at once. I tell Darius he can sleep on the sofa if he wants and he agrees. Thresh throws him extra pillows and a sheet before we all say goodnight and go to our rooms.

I've finally managed to make my room feel like home with posters of my favourite bands and mountain scenery on the walls. I also have the obligatory photo wall that is filled with images from various uni escapades and my time in Skye this summer. Uni textbooks lie open on my desk and dozens of hair ties and leather bracelets are scattered on top of my small chest of drawers. I like coming home to this now after a night out.

I flop down on my bed and pull out my phone. I find Peeta's name in my contacts and start typing out a message about what happened tonight.

_**Katniss 3.06 **_

_I kissed a guy tonight and then he threw up. Should I be offended? X_

I then roll to plug my phone into a charger, not expecting Peeta to still be awake but his reply comes almost instantly.

_**Peeta 3.07**_

_That sounds about right. I used to always throw up after your kisses _

_**Katniss 3.08**_

_Just be thankful that I kissed you. I took pity on you after all the other girls got put off by your one crooked tooth. X_

_**Peeta 3.09**_

_Hey! You always said you loved my crooked tooth! Xx_

_**Katniss 3.09**_

_That's because it was the only flaw in your otherwise perfect physique. _

_**Peeta 3.10**_

😊 _I'll take the compliment. My ego had been bruised after my date on Thursday._

_**Katniss 3.11**_

_What happened?_

_**Peeta 3.11**_

_I took her for a nice meal. She let me pay for everything and then she got a message from another guy and she asked me if I could drop her off at his house, I'm assuming to sleep with him. _

_**Katniss 3.12**_

_Wow. She sounds like a real catch. _

_**Peeta 3.12**_

_I'm not letting Finnick match me with people on Tinder again. _

_**Katniss 3.13**_

_You should get Darius to help you. He's surprisingly good at setting people up. He introduced Johanna to her fuck buddy. _

_**Peeta 3.14**_

_I'll definitely ask for his advice then. It's only a week until I'm back in Edinburgh. Xx_

_**Katniss 3.15**_

_I know. I can't wait. We have a big night out planned. X_

_**Peeta 3.16**_

_You better. I want red carpets and champagne rolled out _

I laugh before typing out my reply. Since Christmas Peeta and I have got our friendship back on track. We generally don't go more than a couple of days without speaking to each other and we've been totally honest about everything we've been up to. So many people said we couldn't be friends and I'm so glad that we've proved them wrong. Peeta will be back for two weeks over Easter and I'm looking forward to having my beer pong and hill walking buddy back.

We continue messaging each other back and forth, even when Blight arrives and I can hear him and Johanna going at it through my wall. When I wake up the next morning I find my phone still in my hand and that I'm fully dressed above the covers. I must have fallen asleep messaging Peeta last night.

Sure enough when I look at my phone I find three unread messages from Peeta.

_**Peeta 4.16**_

_I can't believe you haven't watched it yet! You and me are having a movie night when I come back up!_

_**Peeta 4.23**_

_Are you still awake?_

_**Peeta 2.28**_

_Good night Katniss. Sleep well. Xxx_

I smile as I read the last message and hold the phone close to my chest. Last night was one of the best sleeps I've had in a while.

* * *

The last week of uni before the Easter holidays is busy as I have a few deadlines due. But the thought of the weekend gets me through it as both Peeta and Madge come back from uni. I haven't really spoken to Delly or any the other guys from school as they always seem to be busy with their new friends and I can already feel them slipping out of my friendship group. Claudius has thankfully gone home too so Thresh, Johanna and I don't feel guilty about hosting another flat party.

When Saturday finally arrives I am totally in the mood for a big night out. Thresh suggested that we go to a late night ceilidh instead of one of our usual clubs and everyone gets into the spirit for Scottish dancing. Thresh finds a tartan tie to wear while Darius wears a rather bright yellow and blue tartan shirt. Johanna and I both go for tartan skirts and then Madge and Peeta arrive wearing very similar tartan trousers.

"I know, I know. Peeta didn't check in with me to make sure we weren't matching," Madge says with a grin.

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm not sure if I can go out now," Peeta jokes.

"We'll just pretend you're twins all night and that your mother forced you to wear the same outfit," Darius adds.

Peeta and Madge laugh and then Madge pulls out her phone.

"I think we need to document this moment. I've always wanted to look as hot as Peeta Mellark," she says.

I chuckle as she hands me the phone and then goes back to stand next to Peeta. She turns sideways and places both hands on his shoulder while she pops one leg up like a flamingo. They both grin broadly but Peeta's eyes find mine behind the camera. I hold his stare for just a moment before taking several pictures for Madge to choose and post later.

"Thank you," she says as she bounds over to me. "I want a few group pictures now. A mixture of old and new friends."

I nod my head and Johanna complains a little about having to pose. But she's met Madge on a few occasions by now and knows how determined my school friend is. We eventually mange to convince her to join us but she scowls through every photo Madge directs. I end up standing next to Peeta and he slips his arm around my waist. My body instinctively settles into his side and I tip my head back up to look at him.

"I'm disappointed that you didn't wear a kilt tonight," I say.

"Mum told me I couldn't because she didn't want to have to dry clean if I spill beer on it" Peeta replies.

"That's a shame. I always liked you in a kilt," I say.

I turn back to face the camera but Peeta grins as he ducks down to whisper in my ear. All the hair on the back of my neck neck stands on end as his breath hits it.

"That's just because it made it easier to fool around with me," he replies.

My cheeks go warm as I remember some of the ceilidhs we snuck away from just so we could explore what was underneath each other's skirts. I twist round to give Peeta a coy smile.

"Well at least one of us is wearing a skirt," I reply.

Peeta's eyes go a little darker and as I turn back around I grind my behind a little into him. His grip on my waist gets a little tighter and he starts drawing patterns on my side with his thumb. My heart beats a little faster and I suddenly begin to question what I am doing. I'm flirting with Peeta. We have worked so hard to get to this point as friends and now I could ruin that with my flirting. But his touch is too good to make me want him to stop.

"I'm done now, Madge. I'm going to need a large vodka after enduring that," Johanna declares.

She then peels herself from the rest of the group and heads towards the kitchen. The rest of the group separates soon after and Peeta's arm drops from around my waist. We share one more look before Darius comes to chat to Peeta and I go over to Madge to offer her a drink. The feeling of Peeta's touch lingers for longer than it should.

* * *

After a suitable amount of pre-drinking we all fall into a taxi and go to the ceilidh venue. The room is softly lit and most of the tables in the bar have been cleared away, leaving only a few round the edges of the large wooden dance floor. The ceilidh band performs on a small purple lit stage at the opposite end of the room from the bar. A lot of people are wearing a hint of tarn somewhere but there is a surprising lack of kilt wearing men. The dancing has already started and couples and sets of eight all skip and twirl to the variety of Scottish music being played.

Johanna heads straight for the long bar that has dozens of spirits displayed behind it while Darius grabs Thresh's hand and drags him onto the dance floor.

"I plan to dance with each and everyone of you tonight and I think it's only right that I dance first with the most attractive one of the group," he exclaims.

Madge raises her eyebrow.

"Since when has Thresh been the most attractive one? You always said I was," Madge teases.

"Those baby blues of yours are very good but Thresh has a six pack. I think he wins even if it's just because I'm a bit jealous of his muscles," Darius replies.

Madge laughs and then says she going to help Johanna at the bar. This leaves Peeta and I alone together. He smiles at me before offering me his hand.

"Can I have this dance?" he asks.

I grin as I link my fingers with his and lead him onto the dance floor. The band are playing a tune for _Strip the Willow_ so we need to get into sets of eight. We join Thresh and Darius and four other randoms as one of the band members calls out the steps. The dance is pretty repetitive with lots of spinning and Darius volunteers to go first. He and Thresh spin each other as fast as they can and Darius almost bumps into me as he lets go. I stick out my hands to try and catch him and I laugh.

"Are you trying to see how many people you can take out through ceilidh dancing?" I joke.

"Well I have been debating the best way to commit mass murder," he jokes.

We share a laugh before Darius staggers to back to his feet and carries on with the rest of the dance.

Peeta and I have to wait for our turn and clap in time with the music. But I don't look at Darius and Thresh as they continue to spin up and down the line. My eyes focus in on Peeta as I admire him in his tartan trousers and crisp white shirt. It would be so much easier not to flirt with him if he wasn't so attractive.

He must feel my stare on him as he turns and pulls a funny face as he catches my eye. I laugh before pulling a silly face of my own and Peeta grins back at me. We then start exchanging silly faces, each one getting slightly more grotesque until the person standing beside me nudges me in the side.

"It's your turn," she says a little impatiently.

I snap back to my senses and rush to meet Peeta in the middle. He's laughing as he sticks his hand out for me.

"Ready?" he asks.

I nod my head and we start spinning too. After spinning on the spot for a while we both spin the other members of the group as we go up and down the line. When we get back to the start again Peeta pulls me flush against him and locks his eyes onto mine. I sweep a thumb across his knuckles and we don't lose contact as we skip together up and down the line. Darius cheers us on and as we separate my alcohol fuelled brain struggles to remember that Peeta is only my friend now.

Peeta and I continue to sneak glances at each other for the remainder of the dance and when the band ends the song with a flourish my feet automatically walk towards Peeta so that I can wrap my arms around him. I squeeze him tight and my hand slips lower down his back than it probably should.

"I think we smashed that dance," he says.

I grin as I pull back from him.

"We did win the prize for the best Strip the Willow at the primary 7 Burns' Night Ceilidh," I reply.

"Oh my God! I totally forgot about that. Didn't they give us a can of Irn Bru as a prize?" he asks.

"Yeah. But Darius and Thom decided to play rugby with mine and then I got squirted by it all when I opened it up," I say.

Peeta laughs as we make our way off the dance floor.

"That's right. And then you let off a stink bomb in his school bag for revenge," he replies.

"Well now you know not to piss me off," I say with a smile.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Peeta says.

We stop when we reach Madge and Johanna and Johanna starts handing out drinks for everyone. We all eagerly accept and clink glasses together before we settle down onto seats. However there is not enough seats for everyone so I end up perching on Peeta's knee. I slip an arm around his waist and he smiles at me before turning to talk to Thresh. When I turn to Madge and Johanna they both give me a look that tells me they are both going to ask me about this later.

Amazingly they both hold their tongues for a couple of hours and we all take part in several ceilidh dances. I dance with Peeta more than anyone else and as I drink more alcohol I stop questioning myself why. I'm having too much fun.

But Johanna and Madge don't let me get away with not talking about it. They both pounce on me when the three of us go to the bar to get some water.

"What the fuck are you and Peeta doing?" Johanna exclaims.

"We're having fun. What's wrong with that?" I ask.

"Sleeping with exes is never a good idea. Trust me. I've been there and done that. It was a car crash," she replies.

"We haven't slept together," I say.

"Don't bullshit me, Katniss. The two of you have been eye-fucking all night. Tonight is only going to end one way," she says.

Madge nods her head in agreement.

"There is clearly something still there between you and Peeta. Have you guys talked about it?" she asks.

"No. Nothing has changed since September. Peeta knows that," I reply.

"Does he? I love you both and I loved the two of you together. And tonight the two of you have acted just like you used to when you were a couple. If you don't want that, I think you need to tell him because I'm confused by it all and I'm just observing from the outside," she says.

I sigh as I slump my elbows against the bar counter.

"It's just so much easier when he is in Exeter and I don't have to see him," I say.

Johanna places a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.

"Break ups are hard. We all get it wrong at some points," she says.

I nod my head just as the barman comes back with the glasses of water. We all take a long sip and then some random guy with floppy brown hair sidles up behind us.

"Good evening, girls. Can I get you a drink?" he says with what he thinks is a sexy smile.

"No thank you. We've had enough for the night," Madge replies.

The guy gives her a leery smile and puts his hand on her back. Madge stiffens and moves away from him. But his eyes look at her hungrily and I reach for her hand, ready to pull him away from her.

"Don't be like that. The night is still young," he says.

The man then reaches out and grabs hold of Madge's arse in her tartan trousers. I immediately yank her away from him and hold her close to me.

"I said no," Madge says firmly.

"Don't get mad, sweetie. You wouldn't wear tight arsed trousers like that if you weren't looking for something," he replies.

I hear the sound of Madge slapping him before I see it. The man's hand flies to his face.

"You bitch!" he exclaims.

Johanna's eyes harden and she steps close to him.

"You deserved it. That was sexual harassment. I'm going to find a bouncer to tell him so he can chuck you out for it" she says in a low voice.

"Now you're just being over dramatic. Fucking lesbians," the man says.

I have to hold Johanna back from slapping him again and she shakes with anger.

"You are a fucking twat. And no girls deserves you arsey behaviour," she says,

She then turns quickly turns on her heel and marches off to find a bouncer. She brings one back quickly and the bouncer's eyes harden when he hears the story.

"We don't appreciate that type of behaviour at The Ghillie Dhu. We're going to have to ask you to leave," he says.

"I didn't do anything wrong! She was the one that slapped me!" the man exclaims.

The bouncer shakes his head as he loops his arm through the man's.

"Sounds like she had every right to. There is a thing called consent. You can't touch a girl if she doesn't want you too," the bouncer says.

The man continues to protest but he's onto a losing battle and the bouncer drags him out the bar.

Johanna and I both turn to Madge.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

Madge nods her head.

"Sadly it's not the first time I've been felt up when I didn't want to be. I've gotten better at dealing with it though," she replies.

"Damn right you have. That was a pretty awesome slap," Johanna says.

We all share a smile and Madge then turns to the door.

"It's kind of ruined my night though. Do you mind if we just go home?" she asks.

"Not at all. Let's get the boys," I say.

I wrap my arm around Madge as we walk back to the boys. Darius is outraged when he hears what happens.

"What a wanker! He's lucky I wasn't there or I would have beaten him senseless," he exclaims.

Madge smiles as she goes to hug him.

"Thank you but I didn't need you charged with assault as well. Besides I could handle him on my own," she says.

Darius gives her a little squeeze and places a kiss on her head.

"You shouldn't have to handle men like him. Right now I don't like my own sex," he says.

Madge thanks him again and then Peeta comes up behind me and gently places his hand on my lower back.

"Are you okay? He didn't touch you, did he?" he asks.

"No. I'm fine. Just really proud of how Madge handled herself," I reply.

Peeta looks relieved and he follows close behind me as we leave.

Everyone comes back t o our flat for an after party and Darius cheers Madge up with his impression of supermodels. We all laugh and eat chips and cheese as we watch Darius strut up and down an imaginary cat walk and he even finds some of mine and Johanna's clothes to put on. The sight of him in one of Johanna's crop tops and denim shorts will never leave me.

Peeta and I sit side by side and I can feel the energy buzzing between us. The alcohol isn't helping the situation and my eyes keep getting drawn to his lips. At one point I get so lost in the thought of kissing him that I miss what he has said to me.

"Hey, Katniss? Did you hear me?" he asks.

I snap back to my senses and shake my head a little to try and rid those thoughts.

"I'm sorry. I drifted off. What did you say?" I ask.

"Can I borrow your charger? My phone is about to die," he asks.

"Sure. It's just in my room," I say.

Peeta smiles before we get up and I lead him to my room. I'm a little drunker than I realised and I wobble slightly as I go to my drawer to pull the charger out. When I turn back around I misjudge how close Peeta is standing behind me and we bump into each other. I place my hands on his shoulders to steady myself and then look up to apologise.

But the words die on my tongue as I get caught in his blue eyes. They look at me with that mixture of tenderness and heat that no one else has managed to re-create. My heart thuds in my chest and our lips are only a breath of away from each other.

Any logical thought I have flies out of my head. I no longer think about the consequences. I want only one thing in this moment.

I slide my hands around his neck and push up onto my toes to kiss him. The charger falls to the floor as I taste him for the first time in five and a half months.

The kiss is glorious. Every drunken kiss I have had in a club pales in comparison as Peeta opens his mouth and tangles his tongue with my own. Electricity feels like it runs through my veins, reaching right down to my toes. Every one of my senses become heightened and I drink every part of in.

The kiss starts of slow but builds in intensity and our hands roam over each other as we reacquaint ourselves. I gasp as Peeta sweeps his hand across my arse and then pushes my closer to him. Our lips fall away from each other and I grip onto his neck as I plant kisses behind his ear. Peeta pulls my leg up and hooks it around his hip, allowing him to press closer into my groin. I moan as he bucks into me and I tangle my fingers in his hair. It feels so good to have him this close again but then Johanna and Madge's words float into my head again.

"Peeta, we need to stop for a moment," I pant.

Peeta pulls his head off my shoulder and his lips look even more enticing now they are plump from my kisses. But I need to focus for a minute and get this out. Otherwise it could ruin everything.

"This doesn't change anything between us. I care so much about you and you are probably the most important person in my life but I don't want a boyfriend right now," I say.

Peeta's shoulder deflate and he drops my leg that is around his hip. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I don't want to hurt him.

"Then what is this right now? You can kiss me but you can't be my girlfriend?" he asks.

"God! It sounds so bad when you say it out loud. I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I want," I reply.

Peeta steps away from me and runs a hand through his hair. I'm explaining myself horribly. But then again Peeta was always the one who was better at articulating feelings. Though right now he just looks confused.

"So let me get this straight. You want to sleep with me but not get back together. We sleep together and then continue being friends," he says.

I nod my head, hating that it sounds like I'm using him but I have to be honest. I don't want a relationship with him or anyone right now.

"I can't seem to keep away from you when you are home. The sexual chemistry is still there and I miss you but I haven't changed my mind about our relationship. We're both so young. We both still have more living to do. But that doesn't mean I don't want you. Sex doesn't have to be a big deal," I say.

"Sex is always going to be a big deal between us, Katniss. It's always going to mean something," he replies.

Peeta then takes another step back and shakes his head.

"I don't want to be just like a one night stand for you, Katniss. You mean too much to me to let myself be put through that. This can't happen. It can't happen like this," he says.

I hang my head and nod in agreement.

"I understand. I'm sorry," I say.

We're both quiet for a long moment, neither of us quite looking at each other but Peeta eventually sighs and then turns to leave. I watch him go sadly, praying that I haven't ruined things between us for good. But as Peeta reaches for the door handle he pauses, almost like he is having an internal battle with himself. I'm not sure exactly how long he stands there but it seems like an age.

"Fuck it," he says as he spins around. "I'm going to regret not being with you in the morning."

He then marches across the room to grab my head and pull me up for a fierce kiss. My mouth opens wide for him as we both fight for dominance.

"Are you sure? Are you sure you want this?" I pant as Peeta starts planting sloppy kisses on my neck.

"I always want you, Katniss. That's part of my problem. If I can only have you for a night then that's what I will take. One more night with you is better than no more nights with you," he says.

I whimper as he then gently nibbles at my earlobe and I arch my back to give him better access. One of his hands slides up my front and grasps hold of my breast. He moulds and manipulates the flesh through my black cotton shirt and my hand reaches down behind him to slide into his trousers and underneath his boxer briefs. I squeeze his arse cheek and then move my hand round the front to wrap my hand around his hardening length. Peeta groans as I move my hand up and down him and his grip on my breast gets tighter.

"These clothes need to come off," he pants while plucking at the fabric of my shirt.

I nod my head in agreement, giving his cock a squeeze before withdrawing my hand and removing my clothes. Both of us strip naked pretty quickly although Peeta's trouser leg gets stuck on his foot and we both laugh as I have to bend down to help him free it. But the laughter dies on our lips pretty quickly as I straighten back up and we see the look in each other's eyes. I don't waste any more time so push him down onto the bed and straddle his waist.

He hands reach up for me and I bend down kissing him deeply while my hands run down his sides. His hands rest on my arse and I savour the feel of him massaging my arse cheeks in his hands. I kiss away from his lips, suckling on his neck long enough to know I will have left a mark there tomorrow and then further down until I am licking around his nipples. I grin when I hear him moan and then continue my journey until I get to his cock.

I take his cock in my hands and pump it a couple of times as I look down at him.

"Do you think of me when you jerk yourself off? I think of you," I say.

"Of course I do, Katniss. Your mouth around my cock has always felt amazing," he replies.

"Let me help you with that then," I reply.

I grin one more time before bending down and taking his cock in my mouth. I lick around the tip a few times before taking him deeper and sucking him in more earnest. Peeta swears as I pick up speed and then I remember a tip Johanna gave me a few months back. While I continue to suck, I use a hand to reach out and fondle his balls. Peeta swears louder and his hips buck up into my mouth.

"Shit, Katniss. That's new," he exclaims.

I grin around his cock and suck even harder. But after a few more moments I feel Peeta gently pressing on my shoulders.

"Stop, Katniss. I don't want to finish too soon," he pants.

I release him with a pop and give a wry smile as I crawl back up his body.

"Condoms are in the top drawer," I say.

Peeta smiles before pulling me in for a kiss and then rolling to the side to get the condoms. I watch him put it on and I am so done with foreplay. As soon as Peeta has secured the condom I grasp hold of his cock and plunge down on him.

"Fuck. You feel amazing," I say, tipping my head back.

Peeta grins as one of his hands reaches up to grab my breast. I hum in delight as he starts moulding it in his hand.

"I always loved this view of you," he replies.

I nod my head before I start moving up and down on him. I place my hands on his chest as I start off slow but I'm too horny and wet so it doesn't take long for me to ride him with greater speed. I start bouncing up and down on his cock and Peeta's eyes focus in on my bouncing breasts for a long while. But then he pulls his eyes back up to my face and reaches a hand up to bring my face down closer to his. Our foreheads touch together as he starts bucking up into me and he places a tender kiss on my lips.

"I don't know if I'll ever be completely out of love with you," he says.

I don't respond but completely understand what he means. No matter what happens in our future lives, Peeta is always going to have part of my heart. The only question going forward is how much.

"You will never be just a one night stand, Peeta," I reply.

He gives me a soft smile before reaching up to kiss me again. I straighten back up and Peeta reaches forward to press down on my clit. The spike in pleasure is instant and I arch my back as he continues to press hard and fast circles over it. My whole body flushes as my orgasm draws closer and my walls tighten around him. With one last thrust my walls explode and flutter as my orgasm hits. Peeta pumps into me a couple more times before he too joins me in orgasmic bliss. I slump down and drape my body over him as I wait for my breathing to get back to normal.

We lie there in each other's arms for a long moment, not saying anything and Peeta gently running his hands through my hair.

"What happens now?" I ask.

"We enjoy the night and then we go back to being friends. Not flirty friends. Not friends that sleep with each other. Just friends. We can't carry on like we did before," he replies.

"No. We set our friend boundaries wrong," I say.

"That is a good way of putting it. I think I needed this tonight. Otherwise I would have always been wondering where your head is at. Now I know and we can both be on the same page," he says.

"I don't want you to regret this," I say.

"I don't think I will. Strangely I actually feel ready to fully move on from you. When we broke up I guess I always knew we would sleep together at least once again. Now we have I don't have to wait around wondering when it's going to happen," he says.

"Strangely that makes perfect sense," I reply.

We share one more grin before Peeta kisses me on the forehead and then rolls away to discard the condom. He slides back in next to me and we stay awake talking into the small hours of the morning until we can't keep our eyes open any longer.

* * *

**A/N: These pair are going to be very frustrating throughout this story but hopefully their natural chemistry is clear. I'm glad people are enjoying the story so far.**


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

_19 years old_

Empty bowls of popcorn and half drunk 2 litres bottle of coke lie scattered around the living room while the majority of us lounge about on sofas and bean bags wearing baggy t-shirts and comfy trousers. Darius throws Malteasers in the air so that he can try and catch them with his mouth. His eyes track the small chocolate ball in the air but he misjudges it completely and the Malteaser crashes and bounces off his nose.

"Ow! Those buggers are sorer than you would think," he says while rubbing his nose.

Johanna laughs.

"I wish I had recorded that. All your unsuccessful attempts were more entertaining than the film. My favourite was when you got the Malteaser stuck in your hair and you spent ages trying to shake it out," she says.

"I'm glad my failures amuse you. But you can't complain about the film. You were the one who picked it," Darius replies.

"I only picked it because Robert Downey Junior is hot as fuck. I don't really care about the _Avengers_ and aliens invading the planet," she says.

We started a movie night once a month at your new flat and we take it in turns to pick films. We were all a little surprised that Johanna chose the _Avengers_ film but I guess she can be more shallow than she would like to admit at times.

"I do think it has the highest ratio of hottest guys in it. Maybe even more than _Magic Mike_. I mean I would let Captain America ruin me any day," Madge replies.

"Captain America? Really? I'm pretty sure he's a hundred old virgin," Darius replies.

"I agree with Darius on this. He may have a pretty face but he's way too prim and proper," I add.

"But did you see him in the first Captain America film? Those muscles after he got injected with that serum are spot on. Plus you know he would treat you right. He wouldn't feel my arse up in a club," Madge replies.

"If you are going to mention muscles then how can you look further than Thor. He is literally a God!" Darius exclaims.

Johanna nods her head in agreement.

"He's right about that. If I was into pretty boys he would definitely be the one I would go for," she says.

"And Darius is the best at picking out the guys with the best muscles. His decision is final," I say.

"You should try going to the gym with him," Thresh says. "He's always checking out the other guys muscles and then tells me what I should be doing to get muscles like that."

"I am just helping you become more desirable to the opposite sex. You need all the help you can get because your flirting is crap," Darius teases.

Thresh raises his eyebrow.

"How come you don't take your own advice? You must be the weediest guy on your rugby team," he says.

"I'm a winger. I need to be fast. Extra muscle just slows me down. Plus I don't need to rely on my good looks to get a girl. My sparkling personality is the real winner!" he declares.

"It's certainly not your modesty," I say.

I then get up to tidy away some of the food mess we created while watching the film. Thresh gets up to help me and we leave the others chatting about what they think their best qualities are. When we come back through though they are talking about the weekend's plan.

"I can't wait for this gig tomorrow night. I have been waiting to see this band for ages," Johanna says.

"I'm a little jealous that I can't make it. Apparently they are awesome live," I say taking a seat again.

"I'll make sure to send you videos showing what an awesome time Thresh and I are having," Johanna teases.

I smile and shake my head.

"You are the ones that are going to be missing out tomorrow. The Mellarks always host the best parties. There is always tonnes of free booze available," Darius says.

I nod my head in agreement. It's Peeta's dad's 60th Birthday this weekend and he's hosting a big party at their house to celebrate. Peeta is up from Exeter for it and was allowed to invite some friends so Darius, Madge and I are all attending.

Thresh turns to me.

"Isn't Peeta's new girlfriend coming up for it? How are you feeling about that?" he asks.

I take a moment to figure out the best way to answer. At the start of our second year of uni Peeta started dating a girl he met through a mutual friend in Exeter. Her name is Cashmere and she studies English down there. It's only been a couple of months but Peeta is pretty smitten with her. His Facebook is filled with photos of them going on bike rides and to cocktail bars. Whenever we talk I can tell that she is never that far from his mind.

"I guess I'm a little jealous that I'm not the most important girl in Peeta's life anymore. But that doesn't mean I want to be with him. I'm just a little sad that we won't hang out as much as we used too," I admit.

"You guys do amaze me. You break up. Then sleep together but still manage to be friends," Johanna says.

I shrug my shoulder. After we slept together in April we set new boundaries as friends. No more touching each other and sitting on laps. No more references about what it was like when we were together. No more flirty banter. And it worked. Neither of us got confused about what our relationship was and there hasn't been a single moment since that I have thought about kissing him. It's taken us a year since we first broke up but we're finally just friends.

"Strangely the thing I'm most worried about is not liking each her. What if she's a horrible person and we don't get on? That's just going to make everything awkward," I reply.

"Please tell me that you will try and like her. I kind of get the vibe that you won't think anyone is good enough for Peeta," Madge says.

"I want to like her," I say but my friends don't look convinced. "I do! Believe it or not I just want Peeta to be happy and she's making him happy right now."

Johanna shakes her head.

"Well I can't wait for the debrief on Peeta's girlfriend after tomorrow night. You are a bigger person than I, Katniss. I would already be plotting her downfall," she says.

I let out a little laugh and then Madge and Darius announce that they need to head home. We all get up to say goodbye to them and I promise to meet them both before Peeta's dad's party tomorrow night. I push aside my nerves about it and try to convince myself everything will be okay.

* * *

I send Peeta a message the next morning asking if we need to bring anything and when he eventually replies he sends me a picture of some colourful macarons.

_Just a preview of what to expect tonight. My expert teaching is paying off. You can't even tell which ones mine are and which ones are Cashmere's! No need to bring anything. Just yourself. X_

I lick my lips at the sight of the macarons. The Mellarks have made some of the best I have tasted in Scotland. Though my stomach twists a little bit to think of Cashmere baking with the Mellarks. I used to do that with them and Peeta's dad used to always make me laugh when we did it. But I don't have that role in their family anymore and I need to be okay with that.

Darius, Madge and I all arrive at the Mellarks together. They live in a large semi-detached house in the leafy Merchiston area. Black and gold balloons line the entire frame of the front door and massive helium balloons shaped as a giant 60 are displayed in the huge bay window at the front. Peeta's mum always likes people to get dressed up for these things so Darius is actually wearing his rugby tie on top of a blue shirt and plum coloured trousers while I wear a ruffled red polka dot dress and Madge wears a long sleeved white and yellow floral dress that make her boobs look amazing.

Peeta's dad opens the door wearing a patterned navy shirt and beige chinos that doesn't quite hide the small swell of his belly. He smiles widely when he sees us and welcomes us in with open arms.

"It is so good to see you guys again! I miss having you all lounging about our house making a mess," he says.

"I'm sure we can make up for that tonight, Wheaton," Darius says with a grin.

Wheaton chuckles.

"I'm sure you will. Just don't be sick in my wife's porcelain vase again. She's still not gotten over that," Wheaton replies.

We all laugh and I step forward to give Wheaton a hug.

"Happy Birthday. I know you said no presents but I couldn't let you celebrate it without some of this," I say.

Wheaton's eyes widen in delight.

"Is this some of your uncle's home brewed beer?" he asks. I nod my head with a grin. "Excellent! If I'm being totally honest I prefer this to the champagne."

I laugh and then Wheaton offers to take our coats. We follow him further into the house, past small groups of people chatting and Wheaton makes sure everyone we pass is okay and got enough food and drink. Once Wheaton has finally dispatched our coats he takes us straight through to the drinks table.

"Let me remember. A jack and coke for Katniss. Home craft beer for Darius and a gin and tonic for Madge," he says.

We all grin.

"Good memory," Madge says. "I think you were the first adult to serve me alcohol."

Wheaton shrugs his shoulders.

"You were all going to get alcohol some way and I always preferred it that you drank under my roof than in some park somewhere," he replies.

"I used to wish you would adopt me, Wheaton. You are the coolest dad," Darius says.

"I don't know about that. But I do like to keep young and hip," he says.

He then does some cringey dance move and we all laugh. Wheaton grins at us before handing us all a drink.

"Cheers. Thank you for coming. It's been a pleasure seeing you all grow up," he says.

We raise our glasses to cheers with him and then Wheaton turns to me.

"How are things going with you, Katniss? I miss having you around the most," he says.

"Things are good. I love my course. I get on really well with my flatmates. And I'm starting salsa dancing next week," I reply.

"Salsa dancing! That's a bit sexy. You'll have to come back and teach me some moves," he says, wiggling his hips.

"Haha! It seems like you have got the moves already," I reply.

Wheaton smiles fondly back at me and wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"Don't be a stranger, Katniss. Just because you and Peeta aren't dating at the moment doesn't mean we still don't all care about you. You were part of our family for a long time and I insist that you come round for Sunday lunch sometime soon," he says.

"You know I won't say no to Mellark cooking," I reply.

Wheaton grins and then drops his arm from around my shoulder. In many ways when I broke up with Peeta I broke up with his whole family. I spent so many evenings and Sunday lunches around here. I challenged them in board games and they taught me how to cook. I think that's why I felt funny about Peeta's message earlier. I miss hanging out with his family and am jealous that Cashmere gets to do it instead.

"I suppose I better get back to the other guests. Peeta is somewhere about," he says. He then turns to Darius and he points his finger at him. "And I meant what I said about the vase."

"Noted. Is throwing up in the umbrella rack okay though?" Darius replies.

Wheaton chuckles before waving and turning to speak to some other guests. The three of us turn to each other clutching our drinks.

"Shall we go and find Peeta?" Madge says.

I nod my head and we then weave through the house to try and find him.

It takes a little while but we eventually find him in one of the back rooms chatting to an uncle. Cashmere stands by his side, their arms wrapped around each other's waists and they both look at each other fondly when the other talks.

Cashmere looks even more beautiful in person. Her long golden hair falls perfectly down her back and her emerald green eyes sparkle in the twinkly lights. Her slender figure is showcased perfectly in a red velvet dress with a sweetheart neckline. Madge turns to me with a slightly worried look.

"Are you sure you are okay with this?" she asks.

"I'm fine. She looks nice. Let's go and meet her," I reply.

Madge nods her head and then we walk towards them. I smile as I approach and Cashmere notices us before Peeta does. She gently tugs on his arm to alert him of our presence. He quickly makes apologies to his uncle and then turns to us with a big grin. Cashmere looks a little nervous and slides her hand down so she can link her fingers with his.

"You guys finally made it!" he says.

He then lets go of Cashmere's hand to step forward and give us all a hug. I don't hold our hug long as I'm conscious that his girlfriend is here but Peeta steps back quickly to pull her into his side.

"Thanks so much for coming. I'd like you all to meet, Cashmere," he says.

He turns to look at her fondly as he says her name and she smiles before resting her head on his shoulder.

"It's good to finally meet you, Cashmere. I'm Katniss," I say extending my hand.

Cashmere smiles as she takes it to shake it.

"Hi, Katniss. I've heard a lot about you," she says.

"But clearly as not as much as you've heard about me," Darius says. "I'm Darius. The best one in the group."

Cashmere chuckles as she takes his hand and then Madge makes her own introduction. I try not to focus on how close Peeta and Cashmere are standing. I didn't think it would be this strange to see him with another girl. But he's looking at her just like how he used to look at me.

"I saw you were baking today. Who was the better teacher? Peeta or his dad?" I ask Cashmere.

Cashmere looks relieved to be talking about something she is comfortable with and smiles at me.

"Peeta is a bit of a Nazi in the kitchen. Everything has to be done an exact certain way. Mr Mellark was a bit more relaxed. He even let me lick the bowl," she replies.

Peeta shakes his head as his gives her waist a little squeeze.

"You were sneaking licks out the bowl before dad even let you," he says.

"Wait until you go food shopping with Peeta. That is like a military operation. Everything has to be gotten in a certain order and nothing can be bought if it's not on the list," Darius adds.

"Guys, I'm trying to date this girl. Try and make me sound less crazy," Peeta says.

"I'm not sure we can do that," Madge teases. "Has he shown you his Hotwheels car collection yet?"

Peeta hangs and shakes his head and Cashmere laughs.

"Keep these stories coming. I sometimes think he is too perfect for his own good," she replies.

"It's just an illusion. Peeta has the most flaws out of everyone I know," I say.

Cashmere and I share a smile before Peeta starts trying to defend himself. But we carry on teasing him and I don't think he really minds.

Peeta and Cashmere remove themselves from each other's side as the conversation starts flowing and Cashmere relaxes a bit more. Madge and I end up speaking to her quite a bit while Darius and Peeta debate at Scotland's chances in the upcoming rugby autumn international matches. Thankfully it is easy to talk to Cashmere and she has a similar sense of humour to us. She is also a dancer and when I tell her I'm starting salsa lessons with a few girls on my course she grabs my hand and shows me a couple of the salsa moves she knows.

Peeta eventually gets dragged away by his mum to go and speak to some relatives but Cashmere feels comfortable enough around us that it doesn't feel like we are babysitting her while Peeta is away. She's sussed out the dynamic of the group and even makes a good joke at Darius' expense.

After a while I wander off to find some more drink and I spend a long time looking over the drinks' table, not quite able to decide what I want. Peeta then comes through and grins when he sees me.

"No surprises to find you at the drinks table," he says.

I roll my eyes as I straighten up to look at him. Peeta continues to grin at me as he comes up beside me and casually leans an elbow against the kitchen counter. I turn to face him, resting my back against the table.

"If I have drink problem then I'm putting it all on your dad. He was the one that fed us half vodka, half cokes when we were sixteen," I reply.

Peeta chuckles.

"Dad has always known how to have a good party," he replies.

I nod my head.

"Is he enjoying himself tonight?" I ask.

"Oh yeah. Dad's favourite things are red wine and to talk. He's getting plenty of both tonight," he says.

"I miss him. He invited me for Sunday lunch," I say.

"He misses you too. He's always asking about you," Peeta replies.

"Would it be weird if I came for lunch without you here?" I ask.

Peeta shakes his head.

"It wouldn't bother me. You've known my family for most of your life. You don't have to stop seeing them just because we broke up," he replies.

I smile in thanks and then there is a short pause. Peeta chews on his bottom lip just before he speaks to me.

"I hope tonight hasn't been too weird for you. You know with Cashmere being here," he says.

"It's a little strange," I admit. "I'm just not used to seeing you with another girl."

Peeta nods and hangs his head.

"But I don't wish I was Cashmere right now. I got over you, Peeta Mellark," I say with a grin.

Peeta relaxes after this and pulls his head back up with a smile.

"Okay. I'm glad," he says.

We share a smile and then there is another short pause.

"I like her. She's easy to talk to. And fun," I say.

Peeta's grin widens as he eyes shine with affection.

"I really like her," he admits.

"I can tell. You will be telling her you love her before Christmas," I say.

Peeta shakes his head.

"I don't know about that," he says.

"Peeta, you forget that I have known you since you were five. I know when you are falling for a girl. I can't wait to tell you I told you so when you come back up for Christmas," I reply.

"And I've known you long enough to know you are probably right," he says.

We share a grin and then I turn back to finally make my drink. Peeta comes up beside me and hands me the bottle of vodka for me to pour.

"I like that we can talk about this stuff without it being weird," he says.

"Just don't start talking about your sex life and I think we'll be okay," I reply a grin.

"Of course not," he says. "Can you pass me the cranberry juice?"

I nod my head as I hand him the carton but then Wheaton comes jostling into the kitchen, dragging Cashmere with him.

"I told Cashmere that you promised to make me one of those jaggerbomb things and she tried to tell me I shouldn't have one!" Wheaton exclaims.

"I was just warning you, Mr Mellark. Most people only have jaggerbombs when they are really drunk and end up regretting it the next day," Cashmere replies.

"Well it's my birthday and I'm really drunk! Bring on the jaggerbombs!" Wheaton declares.

"Yes, sir," Peeta says as he salutes his dad.

I laugh and Cashmere's eyes widen in disbelief. Wheaton then throws his arm around Peeta's shoulder.

"I honestly have the best sons! I couldn't be happier right now!" he says before planting a wet kiss on top of Peeta's head.

Peeta smiles as he reaches up to wipe the wetness from his hair.

"I love you too, Dad but you will need to let me go if you want me to make these drinks," he says.

"Of course, my boy! I'll let you make your masterpieces!" he says.

Cashmere and I giggle and then Wheaton turns to us.

"You two need to have jaggerbombs too! No excuses. It's my party so you have to do as I say," he says.

"You know you don't need to persuade me to drink alcohol, Wheaton," I reply.

Wheaton smiles widely at me as he slaps me on the back.

"I've taught you well, Katniss," he says. He then turns to point at Cashmere. "Cashmere, I've got a lot to teach you too. It won't be long until you feel like part of the family!"

Cashmere nods her head and Peeta finishes making the drinks. He hands them all out carefully but Wheaton looks a little confused at the shot glass inside the larger glass.

"You tip the shot into the drink and then down it all in one," Peeta explains.

Wheaton nods his head and then tips the jagger shot into the red bull. He waits until we have all done the same and then raises his glass in the air. We all move our arms to join him.

"Happy Birthday, Dad! Here's to another sixty!" Peeta toasts.

"Totally agree! I plan on having many more parties like this!" Wheaton says.

We all voice our agreements and then clink our glasses together before tipping its contents down our throats. I scrunch my nose at the bitter taste and Wheaton starts coughing. Peeta instantly puts his hand on his dad's back and pats it.

"You okay, Dad?" he asks.

Wheaton splutters for a few more moments but then straightens up.

"That was disgusting. I can see why you tried to warn me, Cashmere," he says.

Peeta grins wider.

"Just wait until we get you on the sambuca," he says.

Wheaton laughs and shakes his head.

"I think I've done enough shots for one night. I'm going to get some of your uncle's beer, Katniss," he says.

I nod my head and then he gives us a momentary goodbye before he goes off in the search of beer. Cashmere shakes her head in disbelief as Peeta pulls her into his side.

"Your dad is hilarious, Peeta. My parents would never do shots with me," she says.

"Just you wait until he starts singing his Tom Jones medley," I warn.

Cashmere laughs and Peeta places a kiss on top of her head.

"I'm glad he hasn't scared you away," he says.

Cashmere tips her head towards him and looks at him fondly.

"I think it just makes me like you more," she says.

They share a grin and I'm glad no jealous feelings appear while I am watching them. It's nice seeing Peeta so happy.

Darius and Madge are both gutted that they missed the jaggerbombs with Wheaton but Peeta promises them they can be there when we do sambuca shots at the Mellark's annual Christmas party.

Everyone is tipsy enough now to be in a really good mood and the chats start to get louder and more random. At one point we end up having a conversation about which Harry Potter character lost their virginity first and it seems like Darius has spent a long time thinking about this. Eventually my bladder forces me away from the group and I hum to myself as I go.

However on my way back I bump into Cashmere in the hallway.

"Have you broken the seal too? I'm going to need to pee every twenty minutes now," I say.

Cashmere sighs as she nods her head.

"I have been putting it off as long as possible," she says.

I nod my head in agreement.

"Are you enjoying it though? The Mellarks are famous for their house parties," I ask.

Cashmere breaks into a big smile as she nods her head.

"They have all been so nice to me. I know Peeta is pretty close to his dad so it's been nice seeing the two of them interact," she replies.

"Everyone seems to like you too. You've made a good first impression," I say.

Cashmere nods her head and then goes silent for a moment.

"I was actually pretty nervous about meeting you tonight," she says.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. I've never dated someone that is still really good friends with their ex. Peeta talks about you a lot and it's obvious he cares about you. That's pretty intimidating," she replies.

"You don't need to worry about me. That ship has well and truly sailed with me and Peeta. Everything between us now is purely platonic," I say.

"I think I see that. You've been pretty welcoming to me tonight," she says.

"You're pretty cool. Thanks to you I'm going to look like an expert in those salsa lesson," I say with a grin.

Cashmere laughs and relaxes more.

"I can tell Peeta is crazy about you. You're mostly what he talks about when we speak. You've got a really good one there," I add.

Cashmere smiles at me.

"Peeta is great. My friends tease me about how smitten I am," she replies.

"Don't worry. We tease Peeta about it too," I say.

Cashmere laughs.

"I've got a feeling you're going to be in Peeta's life for a while. I would really like it if we could be friends," I say.

Cashmere smiles genuinely back at me.

"I would really like to be friends with you too," she replies.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm glad people enjoyed the fact Katniss is trying to get on with Cashmere even though it's hard to see Peeta with another women. This chpater isn't going to be any easier to read for Everlark shippers.**

* * *

_Chapter 5_

_20 years old_

The pub goes silent as the barman announces the next quiz question over the microphone. Peeta leans forward to make sure he can hear the question clearly while Cashmere hovers the pen above the answer sheet, ready to write down the answer as soon as we know it. Darius leans back causally in his chair, sipping on a beer and providing more jokes than approriate answers.

"Who famously said '_Be the change_ _that you wish to see in the world'_?" the barman asks.

Peeta sits back with a smile on his face.

"Ghandi," he states confidently.

Darius' eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"How on Earth do you know that?" he says.

"Because I have found the rare man who is both smart and hot," Cashmere replies.

She looks up at Peeta with an affectionate smile and he grins back before she places a kiss on his cheek.

"Or maybe it's because I read about stuff other than PS4 game reviews," Peeta teases.

"Hey. That's not fair," Darius retorts. "I also read the rugby match reports at the weekend."

Darius grins and the rest of us laugh.

"At least you are honest about your strengths and weaknesses. A good pub quiz team is all about the blend of the group. We needed you in the sports round," Madge replies.

Darius smiles gratefully at Madge but Johanna sits in a huff.

"I'm still pissed about the music round. All the questions were about pop music in the last decade. There are other types of music," she exclaims. "If we lose because of that round I'm going to break something."

"And Johanna claims to not be competitive," I say, turning to the rest of the group.

"I'm not competitive. I just think that the questions should have been on a broader range of music so that they appeal to a larger group of people," she replies.

Madge and I bite back a laugh as Johanna crosses her arms over her chest and twists her body away from the barman announcing the questions.

"I think we have a pretty good chance. Cashmere and Peeta know some obscure shit," Thresh replies.

"That's because their ideal date night is watching back to back episodes and of _Pointless_ and _The_ _Chase_," I say with a grin.

They both grin back at me as Peeta shrugs his shoulder.

"We actually looked at applying to be on _Pointless_ but we couldn't make the audition dates," he says.

Madge rolls her eyes.

"You two need to get out more. There must be cooler ways to get on TV," she says.

"Hey! Don't pretend you wouldn't all be jealous if we won a _Pointless_ trophy," Cashmere replies.

"Fair point," I say. "It would be good for Peeta's self-esteem. He hasn't won a trophy since he won the best Robert Burns' poem recital in primary school."

"My greatest achievement. I should whip that out the bag at the next party," he says.

"You should definitely do that. You know how much I love your Scottish accent," Cashmere says.

She brushes up closer to Peeta and he grins as he pins her with his stare.

"If you're lucky I might even wear a kilt while I recite it," he replies.

Cashmere nods her head eagerly and Peeta ducks down to grab a kiss. Cashmere snuggles into his side once they have pulled back.

I'm now completely used to these displays. Cashmere and Peeta have been dating for nearly a year and a half now and they are both completely smitten with each other. Any jealously I had over Cashmere spending more time with Peeta than I do has long since evaporated as she is so sweet and lovely. She fits in really well with our group of friends whenever she and Peeta come up for a visit.

"Are you two paying attention to the quiz? We only have two questions left," Johanna asks.

Cashmere and Peeta nod their heads and turn their attention back to the barman. After two more questions about chemical symbols and European capitals the barman asks everyone to put down their pens and hand in their answer sheets for the final totalling of scores.

Everyone apart from Johanna relaxes in their chairs as we wait for the results to be announced and I take a sip of my drink.

"Good effort team. Everyone contributed something," Thresh says.

"I would have contributed more if the music round had been fairer," Johanna grumbles.

I smile and shake my head but then a group of lads come up to us and slap Darius on the shoulder.

"Red! Good to see you, mate! Glad to see you knocking back the beers!" one of them exclaims.

Madge catches my eye across from the table and we both shake our heads. These guys play in the same rugby team as Darius and idiot is probably the kind word to describe them.

Darius instantly sits up straighter and puffs out his chest.

"You know me, lads. It's not a good night if I don't stumble home drunk," he replies.

"Exactly. We should get on the shots soon," one says.

The leader of the group, I think he's called Brutus, then shifts his stare to inspect the rest of the people at our table.

"Jesus, Red! How do you not walk around without a constant hard on with all these fit birds around?" he says.

Peeta pulls Cashmere closer to him as Brutus leerily eyes all the girls at the table.

Johanna furrows her eyebrows as she turns to face them.

"I don't like to be talked about like that. It's disrespectful and you should treat people better," she says.

Brutus chortles.

"Don't worry, spikey. I wouldn't bang you any way," he says.

Anger flares in Johanna's eyes and she pushes her chair back to run at Brutus. But Darius gets up too and restrains her.

"Don't mind her, Brutus. It's probably her time of the month," he says.

My eyebrows shoot up in indignation.

"That's totally out of line, Darius. Stop being an arsehole," I say.

Johanna shrugs out of his grip and glowers at him.

"You're suppose to be my friend," she says.

Thresh shakes his head too.

"Not cool, mate. You're better than that," he says.

Darius looks down a bit guiltily but Brutus clasps his shoulder and begins to steer him away.

"Leave these losers and come and get shots with us. I think I see some good pussy by the bar," Brutus says.

Darius doesn't really get a chance to reply as he is dragged away by his rugby team mates. We all watch him go silently and it doesn't take long before he is downing pints and joining in with their ridiculous chanting.

I shake my head as I turn to look back at the rest of the table.

"Is it just me or does Darius become a totally different person when he is with his rugby mates?" I ask.

"No. He becomes a first class twat when he is around them," Thresh agrees.

Peeta also nods his head in agreement.

"Darius is one of my best mates but I can't stand him when he is around other rugby guys. He gets sucked into the mob mentality. They all try to outdo each other," he says.

"That's why you ended up quitting rugby because you hated the rugby culture," Cashmere says.

Peeta nods his head.

"The final straw was when a guy got made to stuff a pool cue up his arse as part of an initiation ceremony. They seem to have fun torturing each other and a lot cheat on their girlfriends. I have this 80:20 theory. 80% of rugby players are complete arseholes, particularly around other rugby players. Only 20% are decent human beings," he says.

"We need to make sure we get Darius in that 20%. I don't think he actually enjoys how he acts when he is with them," Madge replies.

Many of us nod our heads and then the barman comes back. He clears his throat and most of the pub goes quiet as they turn their attention back to him. However, Darius and the other rugby guys seem to be oblivious to it all and continue to make a racket by the bar.

"And now the moment you have all been waiting for. We're going to announce the top three places for tonight's pub quiz," he says.

Johanna leans forward and glues her eyes to the barman.

"That music round better have not let us down," she says.

The rest of us don't say anything and the barman continues.

"In third place and the winners of a Seam pub beer mat with 49 points are…._Winner Winner Chicken Dinner_!" he announces.

A group of boys to our right all cheer and then a couple bound up to collect their beer mats. One grins broadly and lifts the beer mat triumphantly in the air while his friend raises his arms to encourage the crowd to cheer. Most of the pub oblige and I put my fingers in my mouth to whistle. Once the crowd has gone quiet again the barman proceeds.

"Tonight we have a very unique position," he starts, "because we actually have a tie for first place."

The crowds oohs and Johanna leans in even closer.

"Both these two teams have 53 points. And if they want to win the £50 bar tab they are going to have to sing for it," the barman says.

Lots of excited whispering starts up and I raise my eyebrow intrigued.

"So the two teams that will sing off for first prize are...," the barman pauses for dramatic effect. "…_I Thought I was Speed dating_ and _You Can't Sit with Us_!"

Johanna bounces up with excitement.

"That's us. We're _You Can't Sit with Us_!" she exclaims.

Thresh sits back and puts his hands up.

"I can't sing. I'm sitting the sing off out," he says.

"My failed attempt at rapping at karaoke has put me off singing for a little while," Madge adds.

I look towards Cashmere and she catches my eye and nods.

"Cash and I will do it. We killed that duet of _You're the One that I Want_ at the Mellarks' Christmas party," I say.

"Hey! Why don't you ask me to join you?" Peeta says.

"Peeta, I love you. But singing is not one of your strong points," Cashmere says.

I nod my head in agreement.

"It's okay. You have to have some weakness," I say.

Peeta laughs and Cashmere and I turn back towards each other.

"We need to pick a song that will get the whole pup singing," she says.

"Agree," I say before pausing to think. "How about _Living on a Prayer_? Everyone knows the words."

Cashmere grins as she nods her head and Johanna looks excited.

"I trust you guys to bring it home. They other team are a bunch of girls and I think I heard them say that they are going to sing Britney Spears," she says.

I grin broadly.

"We've got this," I say.

Cashmere shares my grin and the barman calls us up. The rest of our team whoop and cheer for us as we make our way to the front. The barman smiles at us as we reach him and hands us both a microphone.

"What will you be singing?" he asks.

"_Living on a Prayer_," I reply.

The barman smiles wider.

"Good choice," he says before turning around to find the song.

Cashmere gently bumps me with her hip and I turn to face her.

"Are you nervous?" she asks with a grin.

I shake my head.

"Not at all. I know I have a good partner," I say.

Cashmere grins in agreement and then the barman announces for the other team to start singing. All their team get up to sing and they choose _Hit Me Baby One More Time_. It's a rather shrill performance and some of their members get out of time but it's not horrendous. I look over to our table as the other group are singing and they all give us smiles in encouragement. I catch Peeta's eye and he mouths "You got this" to me. His encouraging smile gives me a lot of confidence and I clap politely when the other team has finished.

Once the round of applause has stopped the barman steps back on the stage and congratulates the girls.

"A solid start but will _You Can't Sit With Us_ be able to give a better performance. Let's find out!" he says.

Cashmere and I share one last smile before turning to face the audience. I clutch my microphone and fix my eyes on Peeta at our table. The first few bars of the song kick in and some of the other patrons whoop in excitement as soon as they hear it. I plaster on a big smile and start to sing.

Cashmere and I have sung a few times together now so we know how our voices blend together. We hit our stride early on in the first verse and more cheering and whooping starts soon after. Many of the patrons bob their heads in time with the music and as soon as the chorus hits the majority of the bar join in with us.

Cashmere and I turn to each other with a grin when we hear everyone join in with us and I throw my hands in the air in excitement. The noise of the crowd gets louder and Cashmere and I get bolder with our movements. We sing louder with each line and the pub goes crazy. Our table gets to their feet and dance enthusiastically to our performance. As the song ends Cashmere and I throw our hands in the air with a flourish and many of the crowd get to their feet as they clap and cheer us.

Cashmere and I join hands as we take a bow and then turn to each other with a grin.

"I knew we would smash it," she says.

"We're a good team," I reply.

The barman then comes back and it takes him a while to settle everyone back down again.

"Wow! What a performance. But is it enough to beat _Winner Winner Chicken Dinner_? If you prefer them cheer," he says.

There is a polite muted cheer for the other team but I know we have got this in the bag.

"And if you want _You Can't sit with Us_ cheer now," the barman says.

This time the applause is much louder and more enthusiastic. The barman turns to me with a grin.

"It's a clear winner tonight. Well done _You Can't Sit with Us_! You've won the quiz and the £50 bar tab," he says.

Cashmere and I turn to hug each other and then collect our prize. When we head back to our table Johanna jumps on me.

"That was awesome! I knew we would win!" she exclaims.

"But you're still not competitive?" I reply.

Johanna shakes her head as she steps back.

"Shut up and start to make a dent on that bar tab," she says.

I laugh and Cashmere goes to Peeta and wraps her arms around his middle. He looks down at her with fondness and pride.

"You were amazing. You both were," he says turning to me.

"Cashmere is the best thing you have brought to this group. It's good to have an awesome singing partner," I reply.

Cashmere smiles at me as she rests her head on Peeta's shoulder.

"Stuff auditioning for_ Pointless_ with Peeta. Katniss and I should audition for _Britain's Got Talent_," she replies.

I laugh but I can tell Johanna is impatient to get to the bar.

"Cash, how about you and I head to the bar. I think since we won the bar tab for everyone we should be the first ones to choose drinks," I say.

Cashmere nods her head and gives Peeta a quick kiss before following me to the bar.

There was a rush on the bar just after the quiz ended so we have to squeeze into the smallest possible space while we wait to get served.

"Do you think we'll come across as too pretentious if we order processo?" Cashmere asks.

I shake my head.

"I don't think so. We have something to celebrate," I reply.

Cashmere grins at me.

"Damn right we do. I'm glad you are often on the same page as me," she says.

"Of course. You and I know that we are the smartest ones in the group," I say.

Cashmere nods her head.

"I agree. I really like coming up here with Peeta. We have friends in Exeter but I feel you guys are much more on our wave length," she says.

"Honestly, we're just glad we get some new conversation when you guys come up. There is only so much superhero and _Transformers_ talk we can take from Darius," I reply.

Cashmere laughs and then the barman who led the quiz comes up to serve us.

"Here to get your victory drinks, ladies?" he asks with a smile. "You absolutely smashed it out there tonight."

His eyes flick to me mine and then hold my stare. There is a slight twinkle in his stare that tells me that he's intrigued.

"Thank you. Be thankful you got that performance for free. We normally charge for a performance like that and I frankly I don't think you could have afforded us otherwise," I tease.

The barman laughs and he still doesn't let go of my stare. His got deep brown eyes that would be easy for any girl to get lost in and his thick beard and left arm sleeve tattoo make him out to be someone very rugged and masculine.

"It would be worth every penny to hear you sing. I could listen to your voice all day," he replies.

"Sadly for you it's my showerhead that hears me sing the most," I say.

"Then it turns out I'm jealous of your showerhead," he says.

We share a grin and Cashmere looks between us with a smirk. She then turns to face the barman fully.

"We would like to order two bottles of prosecco. If you liked us that much you may even give us one for free," she says.

The barman finally pulls his eyes away from me to turn to my friend. He gives her a big smile.

"I'm sure I can arrange that. It's the best entertainment we will get in here all week," he says.

Cashmere smiles in thanks and then the barman wanders off to retrieve the bottles of prosecco. Cashmere turns to me instantly with a knowing grin.

"He totally fancies you. He couldn't take his eyes off you," she says.

I shake my head.

"He's not my type. Tattoos are a real big turn off for me. I want to see a man's skin not a bunch of doodles on his arms," I reply.

Cashmere laughs.

"Fair enough. What's your opinions on beards though? His beard is just the right length for me. Any longer and I start getting yeti vibes," she says.

"Beards I don't mind. And his is very nice but I'm not going to try and get his number," I say.

Cashmere nods her head and then he comes back with the two bottles in an ice bucket.

"Your prosecco, ladies. Thoroughly deserved," he says.

"Thank you," Cashmere says as she pulls the ice bucket towards her. "Can we have six glasses please?"

"Of course you can. Any chance you are saving one for me?" he asks with a cheeky smile.

"Sadly we couldn't do that. We wouldn't want to get you fired from your job and I'm pretty sure drinking while you are working is frowned upon," I reply.

"Ah, you are a good girl at heart. Thank you for showing me so much concern for my wellbeing," he replies.

"You're welcome. Thanks for the drinks," I say.

I give him a smile before I pick up the six glasses and the follow Cashmere back to our table.

Our friends eagerly pounce on the glasses and prosecco when we get back and Peeta almost knocks and smashes a full glass all over the floor. Thresh manages to catch it before it tumbles off the table and I shake my head at Peeta.

"You could knock something over even if it was five foot away from you. My dad still hasn't forgiven you for breaking that water fountain he spent ages sculpting," I say.

Peeta turns to me with a grin.

"I'm just practising for my slap stick audition I've got coming up. We can't all be good singers like you," he replies.

I laugh and then Cashmere raises her glass to get everyone to cheers. Everyone obliges and then takes a sip. Cashmere smiles once she has put her glass down.

"We got one of the bottles for free. Katniss used her charms on the barman," she says.

Johanna raises her eyebrows.

"Not the hot one with the sleeve tattoo? He looks like he knows how to treat a woman," she says.

"You know he's not my type," I reply.

Johanna rolls her eyes.

"I forgot about your weird tattoo phobia," she says. "Though if you're not going for him I might try my luck."

"I don't even have the energy to try to go after a guy right now. These medical exams coming up are keeping me swamped. I even feel a tiny bit guilty for being out right now instead of studying," Madge replies.

"Don't ever feel guilty for helping us win a £50 bar tab," Peeta says.

Madge smiles gratefully at him before turning to me.

"Hey, you promised to tell me about your dating life once I got back and I have heard nothing yet. Spill. Now," she says.

"It's really not as interesting as you think. Just a handful of Tinder dates. I even got to date ten with one guy before I realised the thing I liked most about him was his king sized bed," I reply.

Most people laugh and then Cashmere's eyes light up.

"Oh! Please let me go through your Tinder. Since I've got Peeta I need to live this part of dating through other people," she says.

"I don't know if you are trying to tell me that I am boring," Peeta says raising an eyebrow.

Cashmere shakes her head fiercely as she turns to face him. She reaches out to cup his cheek and look him directly in the eye.

"I could never think you are boring. I love you and our relationship. But sometimes I just need to hear all about the initial whirlwind phase of relationships," she says.

Peeta smiles back at her and the reaches for a kiss. Cashmere smiles into it before pulling away and turning back to me.

"I promise that I am a good matchmaker. I've set up most of our friends in Exeter," she says.

"It's true," Peeta adds. "One of our friends just asked his girlfriend to move in with him."

That sounds a little fast to me. We are still only twenty but I don't see what harm Cashmere can do.

"Alright. And I know you have the same taste in men as me," I say with a grin.

Cashmere laughs and then encourages me to give her my phone. She gets the app up quickly and starts swiping at rapid speed.

"Nice. Very nice. Dog lover. Always a plus point. Tattoos. That will be a no from you…" she says as she swipes through them.

I laugh as I watch her take it so seriously. It doesn't take long for matches to start popping up and the messages start arriving.

"Urgh!" Cashmere says. "Is his first message really just a winky face emoji?"

Madge sighs.

"It happens more than you would like. One guy just sent me a picture of his dick. I mean does that really ever work on a girl?"

"I hate the generic 'Hey, how are you?' messages. Could you sound any more bland," Johanna adds.

"I apologise on behalf of all men but sometimes the girls are not much better. The amount of girls that tell me shopping and going out are their hobbies is soul destroying. There are so many things in the world, surely they can't be the only two things they are into?" Thresh says.

"I'm pretty sure Tinder brings out the worst in both sexes," Madge replies.

Most of us nod our heads in agreement and then Cashmere lets out an excited yelp.

"Oh! This one looks promising. He must have actually read your bio," she says.

She then passes my phone to me and I peer at the screen. The guy on the screen is pretty decent. Neat brown hair and a face full of stubble. He's got a nice smile in his picture too and looks like he is doing some outdoor activity.

_What would I need to do to get you to show me how to do archery?_

I smile at the message and then look up at Cashmere with approval.

"He looks alright. That didn't take you very long," I say.

"What can I say? I'm a pro. I should probably ditch uni to start up my own match making business," she says with a grin.

I laugh and then turn back to my phone.

"Are you going to message him back?" she asks.

"I think so. Anyone got any suggestions?" I ask.

"You should say 'I see where you are going with this. You just want to have an excuse for me to put my hands on you'" Peeta suggests.

"That's pretty good, Mellark. Very flirty and fun with a little hint of sex," Johanna says.

Peeta grins.

"I have all the best lines. Plus that was the only reason I let Katniss take me to archery when we were dating," he says.

We all laugh.

"Now I know why you never improved. Thanks for the tip," I say before quickly typing the message out.

It doesn't take long before my phone pings with a reply.

_I'm dismayed you would think such things about me. I'm a perfect gentleman. I always hold doors open and walk on the side of the pavement closest to the road to save you from rushing traffic_ 😉

I laugh lightly at the message before replying.

_My apologies. It's just my mum told me that chivalry and knights in shining armour were dead. _

My friends look on at me intrigued but I don't have time to tell them what I sent because his message pops up almost straight away.

_I didn't want to say but you've interrupted me from polishing my armour._

_How about drinks this week so that I can prove my pure intentions?_

I smile as I look up at my friends.

"He's already asked me for drinks," I say.

"Thank fuck. I hate it when they take a week to ask you out," Johanna says.

I nod my head in agreement before typing out my reply.

_Drinks sound good. I'll wear white to emphasis my own pure nature._

He replies with a laughing face emoji and I smile softly to myself. Cashmere looks very pleased about this.

"I have a good feeling about this," she says.

* * *

The guy's name is Castor and we continue to message each other throughout the night. The next morning I wake up in a good mood. It's always nice to have a bit of flirty banter and the date gives me something to look forward later in the week.

Most of my flatmates are feeling a bit fragile in the morning and while Thresh goes out for a run to try and sweat his hangover off, Johanna curls up in a ball on the sofa in a oversized hoody and leggings. She sticks on some trashy reality TV programme and I can't help but feeling a little bit smug about not going overboard last night.

"Why did you let me do sambuca? You know I hate that stuff," she moans.

"Don't blame me. I left you alone for five minutes while I went to the toilet and when I came back you were already two shots down," I reply.

Johanna moans and I volunteer to get her some paracetamol. She grunts in confirmation and I get up to grab her the medicine and glass of water. When I come back Darius comes sheepishly through still in his pyjamas. He's been living with us since September and most of the time is a good addition to the flat. But we all still remember his words from last night. Johanna scowls at him as he comes to sit beside us.

"You were a fucking twat last night," she says.

Darius nods his head.

"I'm so sorry. I was totally out of line. I don't have an excuse," he says.

I shake my head.

"I don't like who you are when you are with your rugby mates," I say.

Darius nods his head again.

"I know. I change who I am so that I can fit in with them. I realised after we left the bar that I don't actually like hanging out with them," he says.

"Then why do you?" Johanna asks.

Darius shrugs his shoulders.

"Because I love playing rugby and nights out are a big team bonding session. But I'm starting to think I don't need to impress all of them," he says.

"I really hope you mean that," I say.

"I do. After we left the pub me and this other guy, Pollux, broke away from the rest of the group and we actually ended up in a gay bar!" he exclaims.

He relaxes his shoulders and his eyes light up when he says this. I can tell he had a good time there.

"It actually ended up being fun. There was no competition to see who could pull the hottest girl and it was funny having guys come up to me and offering to buy me a drink. I think I only paid for one drink in there!" he says.

"Who knew you were a hottie in the gay community," Johanna says.

Darius grins.

"It was my cheeky grin and dimple that did it. Plus I was able to impress them with my dance moves. I think I might go back," he says.

I raise my eyebrow at him.

"I'm glad you were able to ditch the rugby lads and have a good time. You are a good guy, Darius," I say.

"Thank you. I don't want to be that guy. I know it's disrespectful. Can you forgive me?" he asks.

Johanna and I pause while we turn to look at each other. I give her the nod of my head.

"We forgive you. But you can order the Dominos to make up for last night," she says.

Darius lets out a sigh of relief and then gets up to hug us both. Johanna tries to swot him away but he just holds on tighter.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for being a shit friend. I promise to be better from now on," he says.

Johanna eventually manages to wriggle free from his grip and turns to look at him.

"You better be, you wanker. Now go and order that pizza," she demands.

* * *

The next couple of days pass by without much incident. Darius doesn't go out with the other rugby guys after his training on Tuesday and the weather improves just enough that we can all go to the Meadows to have a wine and crisp picnic.

I continue to message Castor and we arrange our date at a gin bar near Haymarket train station. I put on my best pair of black skinny jeans and tight burgundy top. Madge gives me a statement gold necklace to finish the look off and I let my hair down in its natural waves.

Thresh whistles his approval as I come out my room.

"You look great, Katniss. If I wasn't talking to Rue I might ask you out myself," he says.

"You don't like ice-cream. It would never work out," I reply.

Thresh chuckles.

"Good luck with tonight. I hope he's not a weirdo," he says.

"Well if he is, at least I will have a good story to tell," I reply with a grin.

Thresh laughs again and I shout my goodbyes to the rest of the flat before ducking out the door.

Thankfully Castor is already there when I arrive and he stands up to greet me. He leans in for a kiss on my cheek and then pulls out my chair for me. I raise my eyebrow at him.

"So it looks like I was wrong. You really are a gentleman," I say.

He grins at me and shrugs his shoulder.

"I told you. Now you know that I'm not a liar," he replies.

I nod my head with a smile as I take my seat. His first words relax me. I like that we already have some in jokes and he looks good in person. He wears a nice fitting navy shirt that really bring out the colour of his eyes. There is just enough of a flicker of butterflies in my stomach to make me look forward to the rest of the date.

"I love this place. But then again my friend Madge has converted me to a gin drinker," I say.

"Gin is going to be the spirit of this decade. And it's so easy to make. Me and a mate are looking to start brewing some of our own," he says.

"Really? That would be pretty cool. As long as I get to taste some," I reply.

"You really don't need that much equipment to make it and it doesn't have to be matured like whiskey. It can be sold straight away. I've already got the perfect name for our brand," he says.

And that's the start of him talking about only himself and his gin for the next hour. He tells me how he in his final year of his marketing degree and that he is by far the best one in his class. He brags about some graduate job he has already got lined up and then precedes to tell how he plans on owning his own marketing business by the time he is thirty.

This may all sound impressive but he doesn't once stop to ask me a question. Once he's finished talking about his career he starts telling me about his training for a triathlon and his diet for that. He even gives me all his times in the past week and expects me to be impressed whenever he tells me one.

All the flirty banter evaporates from the conversation and my shoulders slump when I realise he was better in text than in person. Every time I try to change the conversation he manages to bring it back around to him. I gnaw on my straw and swirl it around my empty glass as he continues to talk about himself and the holiday he has got planned in Berlin.

"Obviously the beer will be good in Berlin but I don't want to do all the generic tourists things while I am there. I don't want to be like everyone else. I think what makes me so good at marketing is that I don't stick to the norm and am not afraid to try new things…." he carries on.

Eventually I can't take any more and I let out a loud sigh.

"Are you going to ask me a question? Don't you want to know anything about me?" I ask, cutting him off mid-sentence.

Castor stops talking, frowns and then looks me up and down.

"Not really. You're hot. That's enough for me," he says.

My blood boils at that statement and I scrape my chair back abruptly.

"Okay. That was pretty derogatory and I don't like it. I'm more than my appearance," I say. "I'm going to leave. I'm not wasting another minute of my life listening to you talking about yourself."

Castor looks a bit perplexed but I don't stop to give him a chance to reply. I dash out of the bar pretty quickly and let out a sigh of relief when I feel the fresh air hit my face.

I take a few deep breaths to try and calm my anger and then take my phone out. There is only one person I'm going to call.

Thankfully he picks up after three rings.

"Hey," Peeta says. "I wasn't expecting you to call. Didn't you have your date tonight?"

"Yes. But I just left him. It's one of the worst dates I've been on," I say.

"Oh no! Really? What happened?" he asks.

"He only talked about himself and how amazing he was. And when I asked him if he wanted to ask me a question he said he didn't care because he thought I was hot," I reply.

"He sounds swell," Peeta says sarcastically.

I let myself grin as I kick a stone about on the pavement.

"I blame you partly for this. You were such a good boyfriend that every other guy seems crap in comparison," I say.

"You just need to talk to Cashmere. She'll remind you of all my annoying habits," he replies.

He then pauses and I can hear someone come into the room he's in.

"It's Katniss. The date didn't go well," I hear him say to the person.

The person in the room with him moves closer and it doesn't take long before I can hear Cashmere's voice.

"Oh no! I really thought my match making would work again," she says.

"It's okay, Cash. You can't win them all," I say.

"You should come over to Peeta's parents' house. We were just about to watch a film. You should join us. Popcorn should help cheer you up," she says.

"Food always cheers me up. You guys really don't mind if I crash your film night?" I ask.

"Not at all. You're always welcome here," Peeta replies.

I smile and I am so glad that I have friends like them. Who needs a guy when I have really great friends?


	6. Chapter 6

_.Chapter 6_

_21 years old_

There is a lot of bustle in our kitchen/living area. Johanna sits fiddling with the laptop, trying to create the perfect playlist. Thresh stands by the cooker stirring something that smells delicious while also giving out orders to Madge and his girlfriend, Rue. I do my best to set the table and arrange the napkins in a semi-attractive way but the Youtube video made turning napkins into swans look a lot easier. Eventually I just give up and try to fold them neatly on the place mats. Darius leans against the kitchen counter and swipes a cut pepper from Madge's chopping board.

"We were the ones that invited you around for dinner. How did you end up doing cooking prep?" I ask Madge.

"I couldn't stand watching Darius butcher these peppers any longer. My perfectionism kicked in and I needed to take control," she says.

"I swear Darius pretends he's bad at every cooking and cleaning task so that he can get out of doing any of the chores," Thresh adds, turning to Darius with a grin.

Darius grins back at him before taking another bite of pepper.

"Some would say that was the sign of a genius," he replies.

Madge rolls her eyes. She then hands him a grater and block of cheese.

"Here. Grate the cheese for the nachos. Even you can't mess that up," she says.

"There's a first time for everything," Darius replies with a cheeky wink.

We all laugh and then everyone gets back to their respective jobs. To celebrate the end of our third year exams my flatmates and I have decided to throw a dinner party. I've learned a lot about the people I live with as we tried to plan it. Thresh was surprisingly picky when it came to choosing the menu, rejecting a lot of our suggestions stating that they were too simple or not balanced enough. Darius has really come through with the wine though. After Thresh finally agreed to a menu, Darius went online and researched the best type of wines to go with each course. I didn't know he had it in him.

"I still can't believe you guys have been living together for three years and havenever thrown a dinner party," Rue says.

"Wait, are you not counting our epic pizza and beer party we had at the start of second year?" Darius jokes.

Rue laughs.

"Funnily enough I don't think if you order the food in, it counts," she replies.

Thresh smiles at her as he pulls her in by the waist and places a kiss on her temple.

"Sophistication was severely lacking in our group until you came along," he replies.

Rue smiles fondly up at him before wrapping her arms around his middle and squeezing him. Johanna finally finalises the music playlist and wanders over to us.

"I'm offended Thresh. Don't you remember the classical ballet routine Darius, Katniss and I performed at the fancy dress party last spring?" she says.

"Oh. How could I forget? It was truly emotional. I could barely hold back the tears," Thresh replies, putting his hand over his heart and grinning.

There is more laughter at the memory of me, Darius and Johanna trying to perform Swan Lake after we had five beers. Darius ended up tripping and pulling down one of the curtains hanging on the rail.

I finally finish setting the table and then the buzzer goes, announcing the arrival of our final guest. I bound over to let him into the building and speak over the intercom.

"Get up here quick. Darius has just left the kitchen so it's safe to come up," I say to him.

Peeta's laughter floats through the speaker before he replies.

"Perfect timing then. I can put my fire extinguisher away," he says.

I chuckle and then hear the door click open telling me he got in. Moments later there is a knock at the door and I go to answer it. Peeta stands in the door with a smile and a six pack of beer in his hand. I smile back at him before stepping in for a hug. His strong arms wrap around me and I inhale his sweet smell of cinnamon and dill.

It's been over two months since he's last been in Edinburgh. English universities tend to only do three year courses, so while me and the rest of my friends still have at least another year until we graduate, Peeta completed his final exams just two weeks ago and was too busy studying to come up to visit. But this time he won't be going back. He's decided to move back to Edinburgh after his graduation ceremony so we'll see a lot more of him from now on.

"I can smell that you baked. Why didn't you bring any for us?" I pout.

"Sorry. I kind of ate it all with my brothers. Mum insisted on a big welcome now that I'm back in Edinburgh permanently," he says.

Johanna approaches us shaking her head. She takes the beer off Peeta and tucks it under her arm.

"Poor show, Mellark. Normally I would prefer alcohol but I have dreams about your brownies," she says.

Peeta grins.

"I hope they aren't dirty ones," he replies.

"All my dreams are dirty, Peeta," she says.

Peeta laughs and then we move further into the living area. Johanna puts the beer down while Darius fetches a bottle opener and then starts handing our beers to our guests. Peeta and Johanna squish together on the sofa while I take a seat at the table.

"We're glad to have you back, Peeta," Darius says. "Though Cashmere must be a bit gutted you decided to move back."

Peeta hangs his head and then starts picking at the label on his beer. I frown, sensing something is wrong.

"She's more gutted that I broke up with her," he replies.

Everyone's eyes widen in surprise.

"You broke up? When?" Madge asks.

"Yesterday. Just before I came back up. I've actually been thinking about it for a while," he says.

I shake my head in disbelief. We saw them together the last time he came up only two months ago. They were the picture of happiness. All smiles and quick kisses. I did not see this coming.

"You didn't say anything to us," Darius adds.

"I just felt so bad thinking about it. Cash is great and honestly the best girlfriend a guy could ask her. But I realised that when I decided to move back I didn't once stop to think and ask her to move up here with me. I couldn't picture a future of us outside of uni," Peeta replies.

I reach out to place a comforting hand on his forearm. Peeta turns to me with a small smile of thanks.

"That must have been really hard to admit. We all liked Cashmere and saw how happy you were," I say.

Peeta nods his head.

"It was horrible. She cried a lot and kept asking what it was that she had done wrong. And I felt awful because she has done nothing wrong. There is just something missing and I can't put my finger on what it is," he says.

Thresh smiles sympathetically at him and pulls Rue closer to him as he speaks. Rue's small body easily slots into his side and she places her head on his shoulder.

"There is never a good way to break up with someone. But I bet you did it the best way you could," he says.

Peeta sighs and then the whole room goes quiet. After a moment Peeta looks back up at everyone.

"Sorry, guys. I sure know how to put a dampner on a dinner party," he says.

Everyone chuckles and the tension is broken somewhat. Darius then sits up straighter and claps his hands together.

"I know what you need. A night out to forget your troubles," he says.

Peeta shakes his head.

"I don't really fancy going to a club where girls flutter their eyelashes at me," he says.

"I wasn't going to suggest a straight club. We should totally go to CCs. You don't need to worry about trying to pull a girl there and it's always a laugh," Darius replies.

CCs is the gay club that Darius has now been to a few times with one of the other guys on the rugby team. He always says the people in there are the friendliest but none of the rest of us have been yet.

"I don't know…" Peeta says.

"I think we should do it," Madge says. "We could go on Wednesday. These medical exams have kicked my arse and I could really do with a night out that didn't involve any pervy men."

I nod my head in agreement.

"It will help take your mind of Cashmere. You know you are going to have fun with us," I say.

Peeta sighs again and then looks around our group of friends. Everyone smiles encouragingly at him. Eventually a slight smile appears across his face.

"Okay. Why not? What's the worst that could happen?" he says.

Darius cheers and punches his hand in the air.

"Yes, mate! You won't regret it. I'll even help you pick out an outfit so that a guy might buy you a drink," he says.

Peeta chuckles and everyone starts asking Darius more about the club. Peeta goes a bit quiet and I silently catch his eye.

"You'll be okay," I say to him.

He smiles back at me in thanks.

"I know," he replies.

* * *

Over the next coupe of days I do my best to distract Peeta from Cashmere by sending him funny videos and memes. It's a little bit awkward when Cashmere sends me a message two days after asking if Peeta is doing okay and if he's said anything more about the break-up. I can tell she is still hurt by it but there's not much I can say to make her feel better. Peeta has made up his mind.

Peeta seems to be doing okay though. He doesn't talk much about his ex-girlfriend and is in a relatively good mood when we all meet up for our night out to CCs.

He's kept it quite casual in a navy polo shirt and washed jeans and Darius shakes his head at him when he arrives.

"I told you to wear a bit if colour! Thresh listened to me. I always knew he'd look good in pink," Darius says.

Thresh grins and puffs out his chest in the bright pink Hawaiian shirt.

"I've got to thank you for the advice. Rue certainly appreciated it when I put it on," he says.

Rue snuggles into his side and grins broadly.

"He won't be wearing it for long when we get back home," she says.

We all laugh and Johanna starts handing out the pre-drinks. We stay in the flat drinking for a couple of hours and Johanna and I get into an argument over the best bands to watch live and the situation is only defused by Madge getting us all involved in a game of I have never.

Eventually we leave for the club and Darius excitedly leads us in. Thankfully there isn't much of a queue to get in and it's not long before we stand in front of the bar. Darius calls over the barman to order the first round of drinks while the rest of us turn our heads to survey our surroundings. The club is an explosion of colour and random objects. A coloured laser light swoops around the room and dances across the ceiling. There is a massive glitterball above the centre of the dance floor and the DJ wears a giant pineapple on his head.

"This is awesome! Do you see the massive flamingo by the toilets?" Madge exclaims.

"It seems to have a very relaxed atmosphere," I say.

Madge nods her head in agreement before she accepts the fruity cocktail off Darius and swirls the straw around in her glass. I then turn to Peeta to check he is okay.

"How are you feeling? Are you glad that you came out?" I ask.

Peeta nods his head.

"Yeah. I am. It's nice to do something new," he says.

Darius then bounds up behind him and hands him a beer.

"You are not buying a drink tonight. This night is all about helping you forget Cashmere. We'll buy all your drinks," he says.

"You don't have to do that. I'm getting over it," he says.

"Yeah, maybe. But you still feel really guilty about it. You hate hurting people, Peeta," I say.

Darius nods in agreement.

"You're a really good guy, Peeta. And we're here to remind you of that," he says.

Peeta smiles in thanks but then a dark haired man with sexy stubble approaches us and locks eyes with Darius.

"Darius! Good to see you again. You are my favourite dance partner," the guy says.

Darius grins back at him.

"I keep telling you. I could have made it as a professional dancer if my parents had just pushed me," Darius replies.

The man laughs and the sticks out his hand.

"Come on then. Let's see these professional dance moves," he says.

Darius easily takes his hand and soon starts dancing wildly with the man on the dance floor. Other people seem to recognise Darius too and many whoop and cheer his name. Peeta then turns to me with a look of surprise.

"Just how often does Darius come here? He seems to be well known in here," he says.

I shrug my shoulder.

"I've lost count. He always seems to have a good time though. He's always in a really good mood the next day. I think not going out on the pull with the other rugby lads has been really good for him," I say.

Peeta nods his head.

"So he's not bringing loads of random girls home still?" he asks.

I pause to think for a minute.

"No. I actually can't remember the last time he brought a girl home," I say. There is then another pause. "I think that's just a sign of him growing up."

"That's good to hear," Peeta says.

However I don't get to say anything more because Madge comes up behind me and grabs my hand. A Latino style song is now playing and she starts dragging me to the dance floor.

"Come on, Katniss. We can show them those salsa moves you learnt in first year," she says.

I look back to check on Peeta.

"Are you okay if I go?" I ask.

Peeta smiles back at me.

"I'll be fine, Katniss. I don't need a babysitter," he says.

"Sorry," I say. "I'll catch you later."

Peeta nods his head before turning to talk to Thresh. Johanna loops her arm through mine as Madge leads us onto the dance floor.

"You two are totally hooking up at some point," she says.

I shake my head at her.

"He just broke up with his girlfriend. He may say he's okay about it but he needs time to get used to it," I say.

Johanna nods her head.

"For once I agree with you. Don't go there again too fast," she says.

I smile at her but then Madge takes me into salsa hold and we're soon dancing in time with the music. We use every dance move I learned in that six week salsa course and Rue and Johanna start copying our moves. A gay couple dance their way around us and one gives us a big smile of approval.

"I want those hips, baby!" he calls.

I laugh as I spin under Madge's arm.

"I have them insured for £100,000," I joke.

The man laughs and then spins away from his partner.

"How about a switch? We can teach each other some moves," he says.

I look to Madge and she nods her head.

"It would be my pleasure," I reply.

The man grins at me and then I duck under Madge's arm as we switch partners with the other couple. My new partner has some silky moves and has me laughing in seconds. It feels so good to dance in a club and not have to worry about someone trying to feel me up.

All the girls stay up on the dancefloor for ages. At one point we join Darius but we soon lose him in the crowd. Thresh and Peeta eventually join us and it's the best night out we have in a long time. We all stand in a circle and encourage each other to freestyle in the middle. Rue does the splits while Thresh does the worm. Peeta can't dance so ends up doing the macarena to _I Will Survive_. No one stops smiling and at some point someone acquires a pair of pineapple sunglasses that get passed around the group and we all do goofy poses with them on.

Eventually I get thirsty from all the dancing and Peeta and I make our way to the bar. I'm breathless when I get there but can't help but laugh at Peeta who is now wearing the pineapple sunglasses. I pull out my phone while we wait for the barman to serve us.

"Come on. Let's get a photo. I need to document this in case I need it for blackmail purposes later in life," I say.

Peeta grins and then does the thinking man pose while I snap the picture. I grin once I have taken the photo and then turn my phone around to show him.

"So attractive," I say.

Peeta laughs and then leans his elbow against the bar.

"Not everyone can pull this look off," he says, tipping the glasses so I can make out his blue eyes from behind them.

I shake my head and he grins. But then the grin disappears.

"Please don't put the photo on Facebook though. I don't want to hurt Cashmere any further by posting pictures of me having fun already," he says.

I smile sympathetically.

"Okay. You are being a good boyfriend even in your break-up," I say.

"I'm trying to be," Peeta says.

He hangs his head and I step in closer to him. I gently touch his arm and he looks back up at me.

"It's only been three days. We're not expecting you to be completely fine with it. You may have been the one that ended it but that doesn't mean that you didn't love her," I say.

Peeta gives me a small smile.

"Thanks. But I actually feel guilty about not feeling more sad about it. There might be one moment a day that I see something and want to talk to her but it's been surprisingly easy to not think about her. It makes me think that I never loved her enough," he replies.

I shrug my shoulder.

"I'm not an expert in love by any means but I think there are certain people that we have in our lives that are perfect for that certain time. Cashmere and you were perfect at uni but you're both going to change now you left. Don't hate yourself because it no longer felt right," I say.

Peeta smiles and then pulls me in for a hug. I wrap my arms around him and we squeeze each other tight.

"Thank you, Katniss. I'm so glad I have you in my life," he says.

"You're not going to get rid of me easily," I reply.

I then nuzzle my nose in his shoulder and we stay holding each other for a moment longer. However the hug has squeezed on my bladder and I am suddenly desperate for the toilet. I reluctantly pull back.

"I need the toilet. I better go and find them," I say.

"I'll come with you. I feel like I am about to break the seal," he says.

I smile and we head off in the direction of the toilets. There is a big group of people blocking our route so we divert around a pillar and then come across a couple embracing passionately in the corner. Peeta nudges me in the side as we approach but then our eyes widen when we realise just who it is. Darius hands roam all over the back of the dark haired male and reach down to grab his arse. He and the other man push and pull against each other and my brain struggles to comprehend what it's seeing. Peeta takes my arm and gently guides me away.

"Oh my God! That was Darius!" I exclaim.

"We should leave him for now. We don't want to embarrass him," Peeta says.

I shake my head in disbelief as I turn back to look at Darius practically dry humping that guy in the corner.

"Is he gay? Or bi? I didn't see this coming," I say.

"It's pretty hard to be gay in the rugby environment. He could have been hiding this for a while," Peeta says.

"You would think he would be able to tell us though. We don't care," I say.

Peeta shrugs his shoulder.

"We don't know what's been going on with him. We can give him time to explain," he says.

I nod my head and turn back to take one last look at our friend, still locked in a passionate embrace, before we find another route to the toilet.

* * *

We don't see Darius for the rest of the night and when the rest of us all pile in a taxi to go no one else seems concerned about the absence of our friend.

"Darius must have hit up one of his booty calls. I bet it's that pretty little blonde that he goes to the gym with. I'm not buying their just friends chat," Johanna declares. "Only Darius could go to a gay club and get laid at the end of the night."

The rest of the group all laugh in agreement but Peeta and I turn to share a look. A pretty blonde booty call is not the secret Darius is keeping from us. But we don't say anything to our other friends. It's not our secret to tell, particularly since we don't much about it ourselves.

Peeta then turns away from me and quickly moves the subject away from Darius. Pretty soon everyone is arguing who had the best dance moves tonight and Darius and his mystery booty call are forgotten.

* * *

The next morning everyone is pretty groggy when they wake up and we lie scattered around the messy coffee table, most of us still in our pyjamas or baggy t-shirts. Empty two litre bottles of Irn Bru and half eaten boxes of chips are strewn across the coffee table's surface and most of us flinch at any loud noise.

I curl up on the end of the sofa Peeta is sitting on and he desperately tries to rub the headache out of his temples.

"I'm pretty sure the hangovers are getting worse as we get older. Do you remember when we used to go out three nights in a row? I don't want to leave this sofa today," he groans.

I smile at him.

"Please leave the sofa to grab a shower. You really stink," I say.

Peeta raises his eyebrow at me.

"Then why did you choose to sit next to me?" he replies with a grin.

I laugh but we are interrupted by Darius coming sheepishly through the door. He looks down at his feet as he enters and runs a nervous hand through his already ruffled red hair. Johanna sits bolt upright when he enters.

"Someone got lucky last night! I can't believe you left before telling us about your booty call. It's that blonde from the gym, right?" she says.

Darius doesn't look in our direction as he shuffles to the kitchen and fills a glass with water. He gulps down the entire contents of the glass before replying.

"Sorry. I was pretty drunk last night," he says. He then fills the glass again and turns to the direction of his room. "I didn't get much sleep last night. I think I'm going to crash for a while."

Johanna frowns as she nods her head and then watches him carefully as he shuffles to his room without saying a word. She only turns to look back to us once he has closed his bedroom door behind him.

"Do you think he's alright? Normally he would have given us an entire run down of what happened," she asks.

Madge shrugs his shoulder.

"He's definitely different from how he normally acts but then he's been a lot more respectful about how he's talked about girls recently. Maybe he's trying to keep her privacy," she says.

Johanna nods, seemingly satisfied by this answer and then Thresh offers to make everyone bacon sandwiches. My stomach grumbles at the mention of food and I manage to peel myself off the sofa to go and help him. Everyone is in a much better mood once we consume the greasy goodness.

* * *

Darius stays in his room for most of the day and I begin to worry about him. I don't know if he regrets what happened last night but I do know that it can't be good to keep it inside of him. I think it might help him to talk to someone so later in the afternoon I gently knock on his door.

"Come in," he mutedly calls.

I push open the door slowly and give him a smile that I hope is reassuring and kind. He sits curled up on his bed, the only light in the room coming from the backlight of his computer. He doesn't look at me as I enter.

"Hey. Are you okay? We're missing you," I say.

"I'm just tired. I got really drunk last night," he replies.

He doesn't seem to want to expand but I can't ignore what Peeta and I saw last night. I want him to know that he can trust me and that I would never judge him for whatever feelings he has for the same sex. I chew on my bottom lip as I try to figure out the best way to approach this.

"Darius, I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I'll make no judgements," I say.

Darius finally snaps his attention towards me and looks a bit insulted.

"What are you trying to say?" he asks a little angrily.

I decide there is no point lying to him. That will just make the situation more awkward.

"Peeta and I saw you last night with that guy. You were kissing. I assume that's who you went home with last night," I reply. "And I don't care if you went home with a guy. You're always going to be my friend and I want to make sure you are happy."

Darius shakes his head furiously.

"You're wrong. It can't have been me you saw. I don't kiss guys. I'm not gay," he says.

I open my mouth to say something but Darius cuts me off with a sharp shake of the head.

"I was with Cecilia from the gym last night. Stop making up lies," he says.

I know he's lying. He's gone back to not looking at me and he drums his fingers against his laptop, a clear sign he's nervous and unsure. But I also realise that there is nothing I can do to help him if he won't admit it to himself. I have to leave this for now even if I think something big is going through his head right now.

"Okay. I'll leave it. But know we all love you not matter what," I say.

Darius doesn't say anything before I duck out the room.

* * *

I'm still worried about Darius but he seems to go back to his usual cheeky self the next day and the lie about spending the night with Cecilia grows arms in legs. He ends up giving us lots of details from the sex positions they used and re-enactments of the noises she made. He's trying too hard to over compensate and I'm surprised none of our other friends pick up on it. He also starts avoiding me and Peeta and I'm at a loss on how to help him.

A few days later I invite Peeta round to watch some films and we snuggle up onto my bed with my laptop in between us.

"I'm worried that he's never going to admit what happened," I say.

Peeta nods his head.

"Me too. The only time he mentioned it was just after you spoke to him. And that was only to tell me that I was wrong about what I saw. I want to tell him that I couldn't care less if he was gay or bi or whatever but I think any mention of those words will scare him off," he says.

"And I don't want to make assumptions. Maybe he was just really drunk and it was a one time thing. But I think the whole incident is eating him up more than he's letting on," I reply.

"He's definitely louder at the moment and the stories about girls have increased. He's even gone out with all the rugby guys again," Peeta adds.

I sigh as a wriggle closer to Peeta and rest my head on his shoulder.

"I just want him to be okay with whatever is going on through his head," I say.

Peeta nods and then places a kiss on top of my head.

"He's know we're here if he ever decides he needs to talk," he replies.

Peeta then reaches out to press play on the film.

"Now are you sure you are paying attention? The entire film is in Portuguese and you will need to read subtitles," he says.

I roll my eyes at him. I allowed Peeta to pick the first film and he's chosen _City of God_, a Brazilian film set in one of their biggest slums. I hadn't really heard about it but Peeta has been raving about it for months. Now he's finally back in Edinburgh I thought it was about time I watched it with him.

"Subtitles aren't going to put me off a film. I'm very intellectual. I'm on course to get a first at university I'll have you know," I reply.

Peeta grins as he wraps an arm around me.

"You're suddenly making me feel inadequate with my 2:1 degree," he replies.

"Shh! The film is starting I want to concentrate," I joke.

Peeta laughs before focusing his stare on the screen and we're soon transported to a Brazilian slum in the 1960s.

We hardly say anything as we watch the film. Peeta will occasionally point out a good bit of direction or explain a bit of the plot in more detail but for most of it I'm too enthralled to want to talk. I've hardly watched any foreign films before but this one sucks me in completely and I feel I learn a little bit more of the world as a result.

I'm quiet for a moment once the film ends and Peeta turns to look at me expectedly.

"Well? What did you think?" he asks.

Slowly I let a grin spread across my face.

"Amazing. It was terrifying and sad but I was gripped. The characters were so well developed," I reply.

Peeta grins back at me.

"I'm so glad you liked it. It's honestly one of my favourite films but as soon as I mention it's in subtitles it puts most of my other friends off," he says.

I roll so that I am facing him more fully and smile again.

"I love how you make me watch things that I wouldn't normally. You make me feel a lot more cultured," I say.

"I think you are more cultured than you realise. But I love how you are always open to new things," he replies.

"Well now that you are back in Edinburgh we can try lots of new things together," I say.

"Definitely. I'm sure you have already got some walks that you want to drag me on," he says.

"You love it when I take you up a mountain. You always end up drawing the views when we get back," I say.

Peeta smiles as he shifts closer to me. We're both on our sides now, our noses only centimetres away from each other and I can feel my body reacting to his close proximity. I start to feel flushed and my heart beats faster.

"You do take me to some beautiful places. I've missed that," he replies.

"I've missed you," I reply without even thinking.

There is no point trying to take those words back. They're true. Our relationship changed when he started going out with Cashmere. It had to. And I was honestly fine with that at the time but now she's no longer here I realise just how much I missed spending time with him like this. It always felt natural.

Peeta smiles back at me and inches even closer to me. His hesitates for just a moment as he scans my face for any signs that he shouldn't do this. But he finds none. I don't think about Cashmere. I want this. I want him. Maybe I never stopped.

Slowly he reaches across and brings his lips to mine. The kiss is soft and I only open my mouth slightly to kiss him back. One kiss. Two kisses. Threes kisses. Each kiss gets that little bit firmer. Each kiss has a little more passion behind it. Each kiss sends more electricity through my body. Eventually I reach my arm up to lock his head in place and pull him closer to me.

The kisses get more open mouthed and my tongue slips into his mouth to twirl around his own. Peeta's hands dance up my back, swirling patterns over it and I hook my leg over his hip as our movements start to become more urgent. I push my groin up into his and we both moan. My fingers gently massage the base of Peeta's neck and then slide down his shoulders, over his strong chest and sweep down his belt. I fumble with the buckle for just a moment before finally releasing it and dipping my hand into his boxer briefs.

Peeta loosens his grip on me slightly and my hand wraps around him and gives him a well timed squeeze. I continue to place kisses on his lips, on his cheeks, on his neck as my hand slowly twirls around his hard length in just the way I know he likes. Peeta buries his head in my shoulder as he begins bucking in time with my movements and I grin, knowing I still have this effect on him.

He starts placing wet kisses on my neck while a hand reaches between us to grabble with one of my breasts. I arch my back slightly and he squeezes and twists but there are too many layers of clothes between us. I withdraw my hand from his jeans and then take his head in both of my hands to draw him in for a deep kiss.

"Clothes need to come off," I demand before pulling him back for another kiss.

Peeta nods through the kiss and I have never seen two people remove clothes so quickly. We throw each item of removed clothing to some corner in my room and then snap back together to resume where we left off.

Peeta pulls me onto his lap and our kisses become fiercer than before. Hands are everywhere and our bodies are sticky with sweat. I nibble on his ear lobe. Peeta tweaks my breasts. I press down on his dick and then Peeta's fingers find my clit. I tip my head back as he sinks his fingers into me and my long hair brushes the tops of his thigh. Peeta pumps his fingers into me as he leans forward and licks a bead of sweat off my neck. My hands grip onto his neck as he continues to fuck me with his fingers but I want more. I lean in for a sloppy kiss before removing his fingers from inside me and sliding off his lap. Peeta looks momentarily confused but this disappears when I pluck a condom out of the drawer of my side table.

I grin as I come back over to him, ripping the condom packet with my teeth and then sliding it over his erection. My hand reaches up to caress his cheek before I kiss him.

"You're quite something, Peeta Mellark," I say.

He smiles back at me as he sweeps a sweaty strand of hair off my face.

"And you're pretty special, Katniss Everdeen," he replies.

I smile before leaning in for one last kiss and turning around to grab the iron bars of my head board with both hands. I know Peeta will be grinning at the sight of my pert behind so deliciously on display and he bends down to place kisses down my spine. I hum in appreciation and wriggle my arse to get him to move quicker. His hand then reaches out to caress both my arse cheeks at the same time and every nerve of my skin tingles. And then without warning, he plunges into me.

I groan at the feeling of fullness and Peeta starts off with long and steady thrusts. This builds nicely until I jerk my hips up to encourage him to go faster. His grip on me then gets tighter and the thrusts become more powerful and quicker. I cry out as my hands curl around the iron bars of the headboard tighter and Peeta angles up so that he hits my g-spot perfectly. I can only focus on his movements going in and out of me and when I squeeze around his cock Peeta snakes a hand around to find clit. The hard, fast circles over it are in perfect time with his thrusts and the knot in my belly winds tighter and tighter. I'm breathless and the pleasure is so exquisite. My knees start to wobble but Peeta just tightens his grip on me.

"Don't fall on me just yet," he says.

I can barely nod in response and my whole body starts to tremble. I don't know how many more thrusts Peeta does inside of me before my walls explode around him. I cum calling his name and my hands let go of the head board as I sag against the bed. Peeta groans from behind me and I can tell he is close. With one big grunt he fills the condom and releases his grip on me. Once we've regained our breath Peeta pulls me up so my back rests against his chest. His arms wrap around my middle and I rest my hands on top of his. I tilt my head to the side to let him place a kiss on my temple.

"Johanna is going to be really smug. She said this would happen," I say.

"For once I'm glad she was right," Peeta replies with a smile.

I then twist my head round to capture another kiss.

* * *

No one is that surprised when Peeta emerges from my room the next day and to my relief Johanna doesn't give us too many I told you sos. If people think it is too soon after Cashmere they don't comment about it and everyone seems happy about it.

Peeta and I fall back into our old routine quickly over the next two weeks. I have a summer job working in holiday club for kids but Peeta generally meets me after work ends and we might go for a walk up one of Edinburgh's many hills or go gin tasting in the West End. Sometimes we go to the cinema and Peeta even manages to drag me to the driving range at his dad's golf club. But the evenings all end in the same way. Peeta ends up in my bed and we discover new ways to make each other come undone.

I arch my back against the bed as Peeta plunges his fingers into me while his mouth continues to work my clit. I can't control the bucking of my hips and Peeta has to put his arm across them to keep my steady.

"Fuck, yes! I'm so close," I breathe.

Peeta smirks against my dripping core and then curls his finger expertly inside of me. That's all it takes for me to unravel and I savour the feeling of my walls pulsating around his fingers.

Peeta licks me a few more times as I ride out my orgasm and then eventually pulls his head from between my legs. He grins as he wipes my juices off his mouth and then crawls up my body. I smile lazily at him as my hands reach up to stroke his curls.

"You are so good at that," I reply.

"It's like riding a bike. I never forget how to get you off," he says.

He then reaches down to place a kiss on my lips and I can still taste myself on him. He then flops down beside me and I turn on my side to start tracing patterns over his chest.

"You can't fall asleep. You promised you would help me make a cake for Madge's birthday tomorrow," I say.

"I'm not falling asleep. I'm just resting my eyes," he says as his eyes flutter close.

I elbow him in the ribs and his eyes snap back open.

"I mean it. It may be eleven o'clock at night but I am making this cake. Though we should probably shower before we put our hands on ingredients," I say.

I then sit up to try and search for a towel but Peeta's hands grab onto my waist and pull me back down on top of him.

"You know I love a shower with you," he says as he nips at my ear.

I flush of desire rises through my body but I am determined to make this cake. I shake my head and wriggle out of Peeta's grip before standing to grab a towel.

"We're showering separately. I'll meet you in the kitchen," I say.

Peeta chuckles as I leave him naked on the bed.

Half an hour later though we are both showered and dressed and standing in the kitchen with a big bowl of flour and eggs. Peeta shakes his head at me as I try to crack the eggs.

"I don't know how many times I have shown you how to crack an egg. You always get bits of shell in," he says.

"I thought they might add a nice crunchy taste," I joke.

Peeta shakes his head again but we're interrupted by Darius coming through the door. He's been at the pub but stops when he sees us and then there is a moment of silence. He's been careful not to be left alone with either of us since that night in the gay club and we haven't spoken any more about it. But I can tell it has still been on his mind. There are times in groups conversations when he drifts off and he goes really quiet. I just wish he would talk about it.

"Hey. Everything good with you?" Peeta asks cheerily.

Darius nods his head slowly.

"Yeah. Can't complain," he says. "What are you guys doing?"

"Making a cake for Madge's birthday. It's red velvet. Her favourite," I reply.

"If Peeta's making it I'm sure it will be good," he says.

"Thanks. Are you going to stay up a bit longer?" Peeta asks.

"Nah. Think I will probably just watch Netflix in my room," he says.

"Okay. Have a good night's sleep," I say.

Darius nods his head and then turns to leave but he stops and hesitates. He then slowly turns back around to us.

"I owe you guys an apology. You were right about what you saw at CCs. I shouldn't have you accused you of making up lies," he says.

"We don't need an apology. We just want to make sure you're okay," Peeta replies.

"I'm fine," he says. "I'm really fine."

He sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than us. He then pauses and takes a deep breath.

"I've not done that before and I want you to know that it's not me. I was just really drunk. I would have made out with a fish if it had been put on front of me. I'm not gay," he says.

"You know we wouldn't care if you were. We love you, no matter what," I say.

"Thanks. But you don't need to worry about that. I'm not gay and I really appreciate that you haven't told anyone else what you saw. You're good friends," he says.

"We're always here for you, Darius," Peeta says.

"Okay," he replies. "I'm really going to bed now. Goodnight guys."

We nods our heads and then watch him trudge to his room. I wrap an arm around Peeta's waist and rest my head against his shoulder.

"I think he's still in denial," I say.

Peeta nods his head as he gives my waist a squeeze.

"We can't force him to admit anything. This is just something he needs to come to terms with on his own," he replies.

* * *

Darius is less awkward with us after our late night conversation but I still feel he is trying too hard to convince everyone he is fine. We invite a few people round to celebrate Madge's 21st birthday before the big party her parents are throwing this weekend and Darius is centre of attention more than usual.

"Madge, I dedicate this song for you. I know how much you appreciate a man without a shirt on," he says.

Madge laughs as Right Said Fred's song _I'm too Sexy_ starts playing on the speakers.

Darius uses a hairbrush as a microphone and the starts strutting up and down as he sings the lyrics of the song. He puts on his best smouldering look and whips his red shirt off when the chorus kicks in. He then basically spends the rest of the song flexing his muscles and thrusting his groin in the air. He couldn't have tried any harder to be more masculine.

Madge laughs throughout the whole song but does watch quite a bit of it through her hands.

"Darius, I think you are missing a trick. Clearly you have a calling as a male stripper," she says.

Darius gives her a cheeky exaggerated wink.

"Only really special girls get to see this strip show," he says.

Madge laughs again and then Darius offers his hand to help her get up and grab a drink. Peeta then turns to me.

"Do you want another beer?" he asks.

"Yes please. Thank you," I say before reaching up for a kiss.

Peeta accepts my kiss and then gets up to join Darius and Madge. Johanna sits smiling opposite me.

"Things are going well with you and Peeta I see," she says.

I shrug my shoulder.

"It's been really good. I forgot how easy it is between us," I say.

"I'm happy for you. Though I have to say even though I called it I'm surprised by how quickly you got together. I guess he wasn't as serious about Cashmere as much as we all thought," she replies.

I furrow my eyebrows.

"I don't think he ever led her on. He was in love with her but circumstances change," I say.

Johanna shrugs her shoulder.

"You don't get over someone you dated for two years and were in love with in two weeks. I think Cashmere was always just a place holder for you," she says.

For some reason this comment makes me feel uncomfortable. I know Peeta better than anyone and I know he was in love with her. He used to look at her like he used to look at me. But Johanna's right, if he was really in love with her he wouldn't have gotten with me a mere two weeks after they broke up. You can't get over someone that quickly. Which begs the question. Is he really over her?

Peeta eventually comes back with two beers with a big smile. However he frowns when he sees my pensive mood.

"Are you okay?" he asks giving me a squeeze.

"Yeah. Thanks for the beer," I say taking it off him.

Peeta doesn't looked convince but doesn't press me. Thresh then taps him on the shoulder and they start talking about a cocktail bar Peeta recommended Thresh take Rue to. I stay out of the conversation suddenly too stuck in my thoughts.

Even if Peeta is over Cashmere what does it say about me that I jumped her boyfriend at the first chance I got. I counted Cashmere as a friend. Friends don't hook up with exes. Certainly not only after two weeks after a break up. I know Cashmere was heartbroken about the break-up. She messaged to ask how Peeta was only two days after I found out it happened. Since Peeta and I started things again I haven't thought once about her. I know she would be devastated to know what has happened now. I haven't thought about her feelings. I've been selfish.

And it's like she can tell I'm thinking about her because Peeta's phone starts to ring and her name flashes up on the caller ID. My guilt intensifies and I nudge him to encourage to take it.

"You should answer her. It might be important," I say.

Peeta nods his head and then gets up o find a quieter place to talk. I watch him as he paces by the door as he speaks to her. I study his face and he has a smile on it. I knot tightens in my stomach and I can't help but thinking this is wrong.

He talks to her for a whole fifteen minutes and I grow impatient. As soon as he's ended the call I get up, walk towards him and pull him into my room. Peeta looks a bit perplexed once I have closed the door behind him.

"Okay. I'm not letting you get away with it this time. What's up?" he asks.

"What did Cashmere want?" I reply.

"She found some of my stuff while she packing up her flat in Exeter. She wanted to know what I wanted to do with it and then we just chatted little about what we have both been up too," he says.

I nod my head.

"Did you tell her that we're sleeping together again?" I ask.

Peeta hangs his head.

"No. I thought it would be a bit insensitive," he says. "But you've got nothing to worry about. I'm over Cashmere. You are very much the only girl on my mind."

He gives me a sweet smile but I shake my head.

"This is too quick, Peeta. Six weeks ago you were still with her. She was planning a future with you," I say.

"But I wasn't planning a future with her. That's why we broke up," he says.

"I know but that doesn't make it right that we started things so quickly. That's not fair on Cashmere. I liked her. I was her friend. This is all happening too quickly," I reply.

"What are you saying?" Peeta asks.

I take a deep breath as I look him in the eye.

"I can't do this. We need to stop. This can't be the rebound," I say.

Peeta sighs as he nods his head. Like he had been expecting me to say this.

"Okay. Let's end it for now," he says.

"What do you mean 'for now'?" I ask.

To my surprise Peeta smiles as he takes a step towards me. He then reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I realised something when I broke up with Cashmere. The reason I couldn't see a future with her was because there is still this huge part of me that loves you, Katniss. And after these last four weeks I've realised that a huge part of me is always going to love you," he begins.

I shake my head but Peeta carries on.

"You're not in the right head space for us to be together right now. I don't know what it was that triggered you feeling guilty about Cashmere but I also know you are stubborn enough that nothing I say right now is going to get you to change your mind," he says.

"And you're okay with that?" I say raising my eyebrow.

Peeta smiles as he nods his head, his hand slipping down to caress my cheek.

"It doesn't matter in the long run. You like making excuses about why we can't be together. You don't want to do long distance. You just need to be single. You don't want to hurt Cashmere's feelings. But one day you are going to run out of excuses. Because you and me are endgame, Katniss. I know that. And deep down you know that too," he replies.

* * *

**A/N: I told you these guys were going to be frustrating! I hope you keep with them.**

**Thanks for all the support so far.**


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

_22 years old_

The smoke from the barbeque swirls up into the sky before spreading out and like lady fingers in the sky. Small groups of people cluster together with drinks in their hands and smiles on their faces. Peeta's mum flits between each group, making sure everyone is having a good time and offering them small snack bites and a huge table laden with salad, coleslaw and bread lies at one end of the garden just waiting to be tucked into.

It's the first sunny and warm weekend of the year and the Mellarks are taking advantage of it and hosting a barbeque. If their last barbeque is anything to go by then this one is going to be messy. Last year Peeta's granny had to be sent home early because she got drunk on white Russian cocktails and could barely speak.

I watch as Peeta and his dad joke around beside the barbeque, gently jostling each other and teasing each other for their burger flipping technique. The soft grey t-shirt Peeta wears stretches across his back deliciously, meaning I can see every muscle moving underneath the thin fabric. I'm so captivated by it that I miss what Johanna is saying.

"Oh Jesus. I know that look," she sighs.

I eventually drag my eyes away from Peeta to turn to her with a frown.

"What look?" I ask.

"The I'm ready to fuck Peeta Mellark again look," Johanna replies.

I scowl and shake my head.

"I don't have that look," I say.

Johanna just smiles as she shakes her head.

"You totally do. The last time I saw it was just after he broke up with Cashmere," she says.

My scowl deepens and I cross my arms over my chest but Johanna's grin just gets wider.

"Don't worry. He has a I want Katniss to be my girlfriend look too," she adds.

I roll my eyes and relax my arms.

"We're friends," I state.

"I know that. But after Peeta's endgame chat with you last year we both know that he doesn't want it to stay that way forever," she says.

I sigh as I sink further back into the deck chair. It's been ten months since Peeta told me that he thinks we'll end up together and I haven't brought it up since. At the time I felt so guilty about Cashmere that I didn't want to even consider if his words were true. If he's right then it would make me feel even worse about Cashmere because she then never stood a chance. She would become just someone Peeta stayed with to fill the time between our reunions. She deserved better than that.

"He hasn't said anything since," I say. "And it's just nice having him back in Edinburgh. I like how our relationship has been since he came back."

"It's been more than nice, Katniss, and you know it. You've practically glowed since he moved back and you smile so much more than you did before," Johanna replies. "I don't believe in the whole soul mates thing and his endgame line was cheesy as hell but I think he's got a point. You two are made for each other."

I quickly flick my eyes back over to Peeta again and I can't stop the smile spreading across my face as I see him make his dad laugh. Having Peeta around has always made my life seem that little bit better. But I haven't stopped to think about what that means in a long time.

"We haven't talked about it in a while. Do you want Peeta to be right? Do you want him to be the man that you end up with?" Johanna asks.

"I don't need to end up with anyone," I reply, turning back to her.

Johanna sighs and I smile.

"I don't think I've thought about it as much as Peeta. He's always been surer with his emotions. I mean when he asked me out when we were fourteen I made him wait a whole month before I said yes because I was so scared that saying yes would damage our friendship," I say.

Johanna nods her head in understanding and I pause for a moment as I gather all my thoughts.

"But if I'm being totally honest with myself, when we broke up before uni, deep down I always felt we would get back together again. The timing has never been right," I admit.

Johanna nods again and then she turns back to look at Peeta. She looks at him for a long moment and eventually he turns to look in our direction. He catches our eyes and pulls a silly face before giving us a broad smile. Johanna smiles as she turns back to me.

"The timing seems pretty right to me. You're both in Edinburgh. Neither of you are seeing anyone or getting over a break up. It's your perfect chance," she says.

"Maybe. I just think if something is going to happen between us again it will be a natural moment. I don't want to force anything," I reply.

Johanna sighs.

"Katniss, it's never going to be forced between you and Peeta. Please don't make the poor guy wait much longer," she says.

I don't say anything more and Johanna gets up in search of more drink. I go back to looking at Peeta and he catches my eye again. The smile he gives me fills my body with warmth.

* * *

I decide to follow Johanna to the drinks table but when I get there she is having an animated discussion with Madge about Brexit and I don't have the energy to join in. Instead I grab two beers and then head over to Peeta and his dad at the barbeque.

I bump Peeta with my hip once I approach and hand him a beer with a smile.

"I thought you might want another one of these," I say.

Peeta smiles back at me before wiping the sweat off his forehead with his forearm and taking the beer.

"I've got you well trained. Next you need to get some palm leaves so you can fan me as I cook," he jokes.

I roll my eyes.

"I don't think you can afford my fan waving prices. I come highly recommended," I reply.

Peeta chuckles before he takes a sip of his beer. I grin and Peeta's dad looks very seriously at the chicken kebabs on the grill. I peek around Peeta to get a better look at his dad.

"How are you, Wheaton? I don't think I've ever seen you look so serious," I say.

Wheaton straightens back up and turns to me with a smile.

"I'm doing great, Katniss, but I think we are leaving these kebabs on the barbeque too long. We need to turn them quicker. I can't have people saying that the Mellark catering is going downhill," he says.

"That would be a travesty," Peeta says. "I might have to disinherit the Mellark name if that happens."

Wheaton grins as he picks the chicken kebabs off the barbeque.

"Don't worry, son. I'm not going to let that happen any time soon. We have a reputation to uphold and there's a reason I picked you and not your brothers to help me with this task. We'll still get that five star rating," he says.

I laugh.

"I love how seriously you guys take cooking and baking," I say.

Wheaton raises his eyebrow at me.

"You've certainly never complained about our high standards. I'm pretty sure the only reason you still hang out with us is for the free food," he teases.

Peeta laughs as he puts his arm around me and pulls me into his side. He gives me a little squeeze as he looks down at me.

"Free food and my Netflix password. That's all I'm worth to you, isn't it?" he jokes.

I grin back at him.

"Don't forget about your car. Thanks for all the lifts," I reply.

Peeta and his dad laugh and Peeta only loosens his grip on me slightly as Wheaton puts more meat on the barbeque.

"I better feed you up on brain food. When do your final exams start?" Wheaton asks.

"Tuesday. I'm feeling okay about them but I'm not going out tonight so that I can study tomorrow. So don't keep topping up my glass today, Wheaton," I say.

Wheaton puts his hands up in defence.

"I've got your message loud and clear. I can't have my favourite girl failing her exams because of me. Peeta says that you are on to achieve a first. That's amazing, Katniss," he says.

He's genuinely looks proud of me as he says this and I like how good it makes me feel. Wheaton has always looked out for me just as much as he has looked out for Peeta.

"Yeah. Hopefully I'll be able to get over this last hurdle and get that first class degree. Though I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to do after it's all over," I reply.

Peeta gives me another squeeze.

"You'll be fine. I was just as clueless when I graduated but everything worked out in the end. I did a couple months behind a bar and now I have my dream job at Heavensbee Graphic Design. Your tutor has already got some leads for you. You just need to figure out which one you want to take," he says.

I smile at Peeta in thanks and his eyes stay fixed on mine. His dad plates up a burger and some sausages before handing it to me.

"I know what ever you decide to do you will be great at it. You're very dedicated," Wheaton says. "And to show you my pride in you, I'll let you have the first pickings from the barbeque."

"Thank you, Wheaton. You must have heard my stomach rumbling," I say.

Wheaton smiles at me again.

"I swear we can hear your stomach rumbling from space," he teases.

I laugh and thank Wheaton again before turning to go off in search of bun and some sauce. Peeta tells me he'll catch up with me later and it doesn't take long for a queue to start to get the meat.

* * *

As usual the Mellark's barbeque is entertaining and full of laughter. Wheaton and Peeta eventually serve everyone and come and join the rest of us. Darius and Johanna start up a limbo competition and everyone gets to their feet when Peeta's mum dusts off her old gymnastic moves and does the splits under the limbo line. Thankfully Peeta's granny stays away from the white Russians this time but she does treat us to a performance of a couple of Vera Lynn songs. And then some how I end up playing a game of _Cards Against Humanity_ with my friends and Peeta's dad.

"What's a posh wank?" Wheaton asks as he picks up a new card.

Peeta buries his head in his hands as Johanna cackles from beside me.

"That's the quote of the night!" she exclaims.

"This is a bad dream. Who let Dad play?" Peeta moans.

Darius grins as he slaps Wheaton on the back.

"Ignore Peeta, Wheaton. You are a legend and way cooler than my dad," Darius says.

Wheaton grins and clasps his hand on Darius' shoulder. He's had a fair bit of alcohol by now and sways slightly as he grips onto our friend.

"I've always liked you, Darius. You're my favourite," he says.

Darius grins and puffs out his chest.

"Am I better than Peeta?" he asks.

Wheaton releases Darius' shoulder and turns to his son. He shakes his head at Darius' words.

"No. My son is amazing! I mean look how handsome he is! I can't believe my genes have made such a beautiful boy!" he declares.

Peeta looks a little embarrassed and I struggle to bite back a laugh. But then Wheaton turns and points his finger at me.

"Katniss, you need to make a baby with my son. With his looks and your brains the baby will be unstoppable!" he exclaims.

Johanna clutches her side with laughter. Peeta and I share a brief look of alarm before Peeta gets up to go over to his dad.

"I think Katniss and I are a bit young for babies right now, Dad. Let's get you some water," Peeta says.

He helps his dad get up and Wheaton looks a bit disappointed.

"But we've not finished playing. Who's won?" he asks.

"You won, Wheaton. You definitely won," Johanna replies.

Wheaton grins and raises his arms in the air.

"Winner! Winner! I am the best. Age isn't going to stop me," he declares.

Peeta shakes his head and the rest of us laugh.

"Come on, Dad. You'll start disturbing the neighbours soon," Peeta says.

Wheaton nods his head and lets Peeta lead him to the kitchen.

"Stay awesome, Wheaton! We love you!" Darius calls.

Wheaton punches his fist in the air as he walks away and we all laugh again. Once he has disappeared into the house we all settle down. Johanna then turns to me.

"See. Even Peeta's dad thinks you'll end up together," she says.

* * *

Peeta doesn't come back once he has sorted his dad out but I bump into him when I head inside to go to the toilet. He gives me an apologetic look as I approach.

"I'm sorry about Dad. That baby comment was embarrassing," he says.

I shake my head.

"Don't worry about it. I love drunk Wheaton. And he's right. We would make some pretty awesome babies," I say.

Peeta raises his eyebrows, a little surprised.

"Yeah. But we would have to have sex for that to happen," he says.

I brush up closer to him and look up at him seductively through my eyelashes.

"I guess you better try and seduce me then," I reply.

I then run my hand down his arm, lingering my touch around his hand, before sliding past him and heading to the bathroom.

* * *

The party soon starts to wind down and I leave Johanna and Darius as they head out to a club. I wake up early the next day to start my revision but Peeta is a welcome distraction when he comes round to help Johanna with her posters for her art show.

"Johanna's still in bed. Goodness know what state she will be in when she wakes up. I didn't even hear them come in last night," I say.

"I doubt she can be as bad as my dad. I left him lying spread-eagled on the sofa with a pint of water. He thinks he's dying," Peeta replies.

I laugh as Peeta follows me to the kitchen table and then pulls out his laptop.

"I totally blame your dad for all my bad drinking habits. But he was on great form last night," I say.

"Luckily for you, you missed him singing _Hopelessly Devoted_ until three in the morning," Peeta grimaces.

"Ouch. That wouldn't have been pretty. You definitely inherited your singing voice from him," I reply.

"I think I'm offended by that remark, Everdeen," Peeta says with a grin.

We share a smile and then Peeta pulls up the poster design for Johanna's final university art show. The theme of the show is abstract figure drawing and she has come home every day for the last two months covered in paint and charcoal. With Peeta's graphic design background he offered to make the posters for her and he's taken his job very seriously. I've got dozens of messages these last few weeks asking me what I think about his ideas and poster compositions. I'm intrigued to see what he has finally put together.

"Do you think Johanna will like it? Since most of her work uses black and greys I've incorporated that into the design. But I thought I would add a pop of colour in the text. I think it makes it a bit more striking," he says.

I smile as I look over the poster. The background is grey and two of Johanna's favourite figures frame the sides of the poster. Johanna's signature is big and centred with the remaining information organised neatly underneath. I love it.

"Of course you chose orange for the text," I say.

"I keep telling you it is the best colour," he replies.

I shake my head at him and then the door to Johanna's bedroom opens and she trudges through wearing only a baggy t-shirt and black underwear to slump down at the table.

"Peeta, I'm never drinking with your dad again," she says.

Peeta grins.

"He is a former rugby player. Never try to keep up with one of those," he says.

Johanna groans and I offer to get her a glass of water. She accepts and nearly gulps down the whole thing in one go.

"That's better," she says as she puts the glass down.

Her eyes then flit over to Peeta's laptop and widen when she sees the poster.

"Holy shit, Peeta! That looks awesome!" she exclaims.

Peeta looks relieved and leans closer to his laptop.

"You really like it? I can make this text smaller if you want. And I can totally change the font if you don't like it," he says.

Johanna smiles at him.

"I think you might be a bigger perfectionist than me, Mellark. But this is good. Maybe make this bit a little bit bigger and move this bit here but other than that it's perfect," she says.

Peeta nods his head and beams with pride. I reach over to give his hand a little squeeze in congratulations. He turns to me so we can share a smile.

Johanna then finishes the rest of her water and leans back in her chair, rubbing her temples. She looks awful this morning. Her short dark hair is spikier than normal and smudged mascara outlines her bloodshot eyes.

"How was the club after the barbeque? Anything interesting happen?" I ask.

Johanna demeanour changes and she goes silent for a long moment. Peeta and I turn to each other with a confused frown.

"Yeah. Something crazy did happen last night," she eventually says. "I think Darius went home with a guy."

Peeta and I turn to look at each other and Johanna spots it instantly.

"Hey, I saw that look. You don't look surprised," she says.

Peeta and I turn back to her and Peeta sighs before speaking.

"We saw Darius kissing a guy last summer and we are aware that he's gone home with a guy on at least two other occasions but he always tries to brush it off when we try to talk to him about it," he says.

Johanna shakes his head.

"Why would he hide this from us? I don't care who he is fucking. Just be honest about it," she says.

"I don't think he's admitted to himself what it means. And the rugby culture doesn't help it. It's all about drinking and getting with girls. I think he is scared of what his teammates will think," I add.

"But we're not the rugby team. He can at least talk to us," Johanna replies.

I nod my head and as if on cue, Darius pushes open the front door and walks in. He looks a lot perkier than Joanna and at least has clean clothes on but he instantly puts on the mask he has perfected in the last year. He saunters in cockily and plasters on a smile that I know it not genuine.

"Morning, people. How's everyone feeling? I had a great night with a hot little blonde," he lies.

Johanna scoffs and shakes her head.

"We know you weren't with a girl," she says.

The façade immediately drops and Darius whips his head round to look at me and Peeta.

"What did you tell her?" he asks.

"They didn't tell me anything. I saw you leave with that guy last night. You were kissing his neck as you got into a taxi," she says. "You don't need to lie to us. It doesn't matter to us if you like guys."

Darius' face sets into a frown.

"I'm not gay," he says.

"You don't need to put a label on yourself. I'm a strong believer that we don't need labels to define us. Love who you want to love and be fine with admitting that you like sleeping with men," Johanna says.

"I was really drunk. We all do stupid stuff when we're drunk," he says.

Johanna sighs.

"Okay. If you want to keep believing that, then that's fine for now. But know we are here if you ever need to talk," she says.

Darius nods his head and then an awkward silence falls around the table. Darius won't look at any of us and I hate it. Eventually Darius pushes he chair back, the scraping sound against the laminate floor making me winch, and he heads back to his room. Soon we hear the soft thump of music being played in his room and Johanna turns to us.

"Has it gone like that every time you've tried to talk to him?" she asks.

We nod our heads.

"It's getting very repetitive," I reply.

Peeta puts his arm around me and I lean into him as the worry for our friend grows.

* * *

Darius stays away from us for most of the rest of the day and Johanna perks up once she has had a shower and Peeta makes us all French toast with bacon and maple syrup. The three of us are all lounging about the living room, laughing as we watch _Brooklyn_ _99_, when there is a knock on the door. Johanna drags herself off the sofa, still laughing to answer it . Peeta and I then peek through the living room door when she opens the front door to a tall blond guy with tattoos all down his left arm .

"Hey. This is Darius' flat right? He left his wallet at mine last night and I thought I would return it," the man says.

"Yeah. This is his place. I'll just get him for you," Johanna says.

She then steps aside to let the man in. The man smiles and Peeta and I are not subtle as we crane our necks to get a better look at him. He seems relaxed as he takes in the hall surroundings, his stare lingering on one of Johanna's pieces of the Forth Rail Bridge.

Johanna walks to Darius' door and knocks on it. The man catches sight of Peeta and I staring at him through the living room door and Peeta gives him a kind smile while I look away, embarrassed at being caught.

"Darius, there is someone to see you," Johanna calls.

The music finally stops from within his room and we hear shuffling behind his door before he opens it a crack to see who it is. His eyes widen when he sees the man. Darius quickly squeezes through the gap of the door and dashes to him. The man smiles at him brightly but Darius grabs him by the arm and quickly drags him out the door. The front door is left open a tiny bit and even though we all know we shouldn't eavesdrop on a private conversation our curiosity gets the better of us and we all strain our ears to listen to what is being said.

"You should have called before you came over," Darius hisses.

"You left your wallet. I thought it would be a nice surprise me coming over," the man replies.

"I don't like surprises," Darius says. "Where's my wallet? I think it's best you just give it to me and leave."

We don't hear what is said next and suddenly Darius slips back through the door. My heart drops for the man at the door. He was clearly excited to see Darius again but Darius couldn't get rid of him quick enough.

Once the door is closed, Darius presses his back against it and lets out a sigh of relief. Peeta and I get off the sofa to join Johanna in the hallway and we look at Darius expectantly.

"I don't know what you were embarrassed about. He was hot," Johanna says.

Darius looks mortified by this conversation but I feel it needs to happen.

"I think that guy really liked you. You were kind of a dick to him," I say.

Darius' shoulders slump and he hangs his head. He then rubs his hands over his face.

"Shit. I was. He was actually a pretty nice guy. He takes his grandad to bingo every week and was just about to try and climb Mount Kilimanjaro for charity," he says.

Peeta goes over to place a comforting hand on Darius' shoulder.

"You could still salvage it. Call him now and apologise. I could help you bake a cake to make it up to him," Peeta says.

Darius pulls his head back up to look at Peeta.

"You guys really don't care, do you?" he says.

"Why would we? You're our friend and we love you," Peeta replies.

Darius nods his head and then turns to look at Johanna and I. We give him encouraging smiles and nod our heads.

"This doesn't change anything. We called you out when you treated girls badly, we're going to do the same when you treat a guy badly," I say.

Darius finally gives us a small smile and he lets his shoulders relax. He is silent for a long moment but we wait patiently for him to say what he needs to.

"You're right. I do like guys. I think I always have. Just being in the rugby team taught me that I should be going after girls. But I never really enjoyed hooking up with them. I never felt good about it after so I would boast about my conquests to cover up that fact. This is the first time I've admitted that," he says.

Peeta smiles at him and pulls Darius in for a hug.

"We're glad that you finally trust us to admit that," he says.

Darius smiles and squeezes Peeta tight to show him his gratitude. Johanna and I hug each other too, both relieved our friend is finally being honest with himself.

* * *

Darius gathers the rest of our friends round that evening and comes out to them. Everyone is supportive even if a couple of them are surprised. I think the most important thing for Darius is that we don't treat him any differently and over the next few days I think we do a pretty good job of showing him that nothing really has changed.

For the first time in months I enjoy talking to him again. There had been this big cloud over every conversation we had since we saw that kiss last summer but it's disappeared now and our friendship has gone back to what it's used to.

"So did the cake go down well with that guy?" I ask Darius while we are out for coffee.

Darius gives me his signature cheeky grin.

"You know better than anyone what an aphrodisiac one of Peeta's cakes are. He asked me out on a date afterwards," he replies.

I grin broadly.

"That's awesome. You seem pretty excited," I say.

"I am. I really like him, but I'm nervous too. I've never been on a date with a guy before," he says.

"I think you'll do just fine. You are always easy to chat to and make people laugh," I say.

"Thanks. You guys have been amazing since with it all. I didn't realise how much denying it was affecting me," he says.

I smile again at him.

"We're just glad you're happy," I reply.

Darius grins in gratitude but then my phone starts ringing. I see it's Peeta's number so I pick it up with a smile.

"Hey! Darius and I are just out for coffee. Do you want to join us?" I ask brightly.

Peeta is silent for a moment and I immediately frown, sensing something is wrong. He takes a shuddering breath before answering.

"It's my dad, Katniss. He died this morning," he says, his voice cracking at the end.

* * *

**A/N: I really didn't want to have to write this last paragraph but Wheaton's death is going to have an impact on Everlark. **

**I hope everyone is still enjoying it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n: This is not a cheery chapter. I'm still not over Wheaton's death either. be prepared for an emotional time.**

* * *

_Chapter 8_

_22 years old_

Peeta is pale and shell shocked when he opens the door to me at his family home. I don't hesitate for a second before I step forward and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug. I want to hold him as close as possible and make sure he feels as little pain as possible. It takes a moment for his arms to react but when they do he clings onto me as if I am his life belt in a stormy sea.

I don't know how long we stand there embracing but I know I won't be the first to let go. Peeta doesn't cry but I can feel his grief in the desperate way he holds me. His father's death is so unexpected that none us are prepared for it.

Eventually Peeta's grip loosens on me and he pulls back. I have never seen him so sad and I reach up to touch his cheek.

"I'm so sorry," I say.

Peeta reaches up to grasp my hand on his cheek and hold it close to him. He lets out a heavy sigh as he hangs his head.

"It doesn't seem real. One minute we were making apple crumble in the kitchen and then he turns to get some sugar. The next thing I know, the sugar has exploded on to the floor and Dad has slid down clutching his chest," he replies.

My heart breaks as Peeta tells me what happened. Losing a parent is bad enough but to have to witness it makes it a hundred times worst.

"I didn't know what to do, Katniss. I just kept calling his name but he couldn't respond. Mum was the one who eventually rushed in and called the ambulance but it didn't matter. He still died anyway," Peeta adds.

I wrap my arms around him again, unable to see him in so much pain. It is just so hard to imagine Wheaton lifeless in a morgue. He was always so full of life. And Peeta idolised his dad. Most people swear that they will never turn out to be like their parents but Peeta has always said that he thinks his dad is the best type of person.

"I don't know what to say to make this better," I admit.

Peeta squeezes me tight as he buries his nose into my shoulder.

"You don't need to say anything. Just having you here helps," he replies.

I give him another squeeze.

"I promise I won't leave you," I say.

* * *

After a while Peeta takes me through to the rest of his family. His mum sits on the sofa with red raw eyes and Peeta's eldest brother basically holding her up. His other brother, Rye, sits in the corner just staring into the distance. The occasional sniffing noise is the only sign of life from him. Peeta pulls me down onto a large chair with him and I brush back his hair and place a kiss on his head. His mum sniffs loudly and tries to straighten herself so she can speak to me.

"Thank you for coming, Katniss. Wheaton loved you. He used to describe you as the daughter that he never had," she says.

"I loved him too. He never failed to make me laugh. We all thought he was the coolest dad," I say.

Rye lets out a little snort of laughter.

"Even though he had those terrible dance moves?" he says.

This gets a small laugh from everyone else in the room.

"His moves were so bad that he sprained my ankle when we did ceilidh dancing at your cousin's wedding," Caroline says.

"What about the time he tried to do _Gangdam_ _Style_ at Peeta's twenty first birthday?" Rye adds.

There is more laughter and Peeta places a kiss on my shoulder.

"You tried to teach him salsa once but he just ended up breaking one of mum's favourite ornaments," he says.

I smile as I stroke some of Peeta's hair.

"He was the best at teaching us line dancing though. He loved a bit of country music," I say.

"Pity his singing was as bad as his dance moves," Bran chortles.

Peeta laughs and I'm glad that we can talk about Wheaton like this. When someone dies it can be easy to focus on all the things they will miss out on instead of focussing on all the good moments we shared with them.

This topic of conversation seems to have opened flood gates and soon the room is filled with all our favourite stories about Wheaton. There are so many and every story is told with so much affection. I laugh more than I thought I would and make sure I don't let go of Peeta. I'm in no doubt that Wheaton knew how lucky he was to have so many people love him in this way.

The stories eventually peter out and the room goes silent again. The silence feels heavy and everyone seems unsure of what to do next. All light disappears from the Mellarks' eyes and their bodies slowly start to slump forward again. I can sense that the silence is making Peeta feel uncomfortable and he coughs as he straightens up his body again.

"We should probably eat. I'll make us some pasta," he says.

Bran manages to nod but I'm not even sure his mum heard him. I offer to help and Peeta nods his head. He clasps onto my hand tightly as we head towards the kitchen. As we reach the door Peeta comes to a sudden halt and his grip on my hand tightens. His eyes fix on a spot by the sink and I can only assume that it was the spot where his dad died. I step in front of him, to block his view of it and reach up my free hand to tip his head to look at me.

"We don't have to make pasta in there. We can order in pizza instead," I say.

Peeta drags his eyes away from the kitchen to look at me but he shakes his head.

"No. It's fine. I can do it," he says.

I nod my head and Peeta looks over my shoulder and back into the kitchen again. He takes a deep breath before putting a foot forward and stepping in. He leads me over to the kitchen island and finally drops my hand to pull out some pans. He makes sure he keeps his back to the sink as he turns on the hob and hands me a pot.

"Can you get the pasta boiling? I'm going to head to the pantry to get some tinned tomatoes for the sauce," he says.

I nod my head as I grab some spaghetti out a jar and turn to fill the pot with water. Peeta strides across the room to open the pantry door before disappearing inside of it. I bring the pan back to the hob and add some salt before popping it on the heat. I take a deep breath as I wait for Peeta to come back with the tinned tomatoes. But he doesn't appear as quick as I would expect and then suddenly I hear a loud crash.

"God damn it! I'm sure they were in here!" I hear Peet exclaim.

I abandon the pasta and immediately dash around the kitchen island to yank back the pantry door. Peeta's hands move in a frenzy as he pushes tins off the shelf. They all come crashing to the floor, bouncing off each other and rolling underneath the shelves. My eyes widen in shock and I step forward to try and place comforting hands on Peeta's shoulders. But Peeta won't turn to me and just keeps shaking his head.

"We always have tinned tomatoes. They should be right here. I need to find them," he says.

His voice cracks at the end and I finally manage to place my hands on him.

"It's fine, Peeta. We don't need the tomatoes. We can make a cheese sauce instead," I say.

But Peeta shakes his head as he continues to search furiously.

"No. Dad's favourite sauce was the tomato one. It needs to be tomatoes…" he says.

But this time a constrained sob escapes from his lips. He pushes the last tin off the shelf and his hold body slumps forward. He can't hold it in anymore and the tears come pouring out. His whole body shakes as the ugly sobs leave his body.

My arms wrap around him in a protective cocoon as the tears seep into my shirt. I don't think he has cried yet so all his grief is released in one overwhelming tsunami.

"I can't believe he's gone," Peeta sobs. "I miss him so much already."

I squeeze Peeta closer to me, wishing I could take away some of his pain.

"It's okay to cry. You're going to be alright, Peeta. It's going to hurt for a while but I'm going to make sure you are okay," I say.

Peeta sniffs loudly as the tears continue to fall. I stroke his hair and gently rock him. I hold him until all the tears run out.

* * *

In the end I make cheesy pasta for the family and tidy up the pantry. The Mellarks eat the pasta in silence and Peeta's mum excuses herself to go to bed soon after. Rye heads off to play some video game while Bran heads to his old room to call his girlfriend. Peeta looks lost as the rest of his family leave him in the living room and I go over to take his hand.

"What can I do for you?" I ask.

Peeta takes a deep breath as he looks at me.

"Will you stay with me?" he asks.

He sounds so much younger and more vulnerable when he asks me. My answer is always the same.

"Always," I reply.

* * *

We sleep side by side that night, Peeta giving me one of his old t-shirts to sleep in, but we don't touch each other. We lie on our sides facing each other but with a good foot between us. I think just the presence of another living and breathing person is enough to soothe Peeta and I don't close my eyes until I am sure he is asleep.

The next day I wake up early and go home to my flat to pack a bag. I vow to stay with Peeta all week as they plan the funeral. I still have one final exam to revise for but when I'm not revising I'm helping the Mellarks phone the florist and do their washing for them as they choose music and buffet choices for the wake.

Peeta stays away from the kitchen all week. Baking would be normally the thing he would do to clear his head but that whole experience has been tainted for him now. Every night he jolts awake, with a sheen of sweat on his forehead and a look of horror in his eyes. He doesn't say so but I know he has just relived his dad's final moments again. Every time I reach out and clasp his hand in mine.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

Peeta shakes his head as he squeezes my hand tight.

"No. I don't want to give you nightmares too. And just seeing you makes me feel better," he replies.

I nod my head and don't push him but can't help thinking that the nightmares won't go away until he has faced them.

* * *

I expect the Mellarks to be quiet on the day of the funeral but the house is surprisingly full of noise when I wake. Caroline moves around the living room, talking on her phone and checking all the correct arrangements are in place. Bran and his girlfriend watch old episodes of _Peep_ _Show_ and laugh throughout while Peeta and Bran debate about the most inappropriate joke to open up their eulogies with.

I get the sense though that they are all just trying to distract themselves and I go up to Peeta to put a reassuring arm around his middle. I kiss his shoulder and give him a squeeze before talking to him.

"How are you?" I ask.

He stops his conversation with Rye to turn and look at me. He tries to smile but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"I'm okay. Though it still doesn't seem real," he replies.

I nod my head and give him another squeeze.

"Just remember I'm here," I say.

Peeta gives me a small smile and then Bran's girlfriend gets up off the sofa and suggests we all have some breakfast. Everyone agrees, even if Caroline is a bit reluctant and the noise doesn't stop while we eat.

Silence falls as soon as the long hearses arrive at the front door though. Caroline chokes back a sob as she sees Wheaton's coffin in the back. But Rye grabs hold of his mother just as her knees threaten to buckle out from underneath her.

"It's okay, Mum. I've got you," he says as he leads her to the car.

Peeta doesn't say anything as his eyes fix onto the coffin. I study his face carefully to read his emotions but he is surprisingly blank. He does grip onto my hand more tightly though and I have to gently tug on it to get him to move.

Caroline and Rye get in the car with the coffin while the rest of us get in the car behind. The car doors close shut and seems to trap all the noise outside. The four of us sit in awkward silence.

"I never know what to say on a way to the funeral. Is it even okay to talk?" Bran's girlfriend asks.

Bran lets out a little smile.

"On our way to our Granny's funeral Dad had us all singing _Bye_ _Bye_ _Baby_ by Bay City Rollers. It was one of Granny's favourite songs," he says.

This gets a smile out of Peeta too.

"I'm surprised Dad didn't offend more people," he says.

I link my arm through his and give it a squeeze.

"Your dad was an expert at reading a room. He always found the right thing to say," I say.

Peeta leans his head against mine.

"You're right. It was one of my favourite things about him," he says.

More stories are exchanged as we head towards the crematorium but these come to an abrupt halt as we approach it. A huge crowd of people wearing black congregate outside the entrance. I recognise quite a few of the faces from the Mellarks' infamous barbeques and easily spot Darius' bright orange hair standing beside Madge amongst the sea of mourners. As soon as Peeta sees the size of the crowd he lets out a strangled noise.

I snap my head immediately towards him and see that the tears have started flowing. He sniffs loudly as he tries to compose himself.

"I didn't expect so many people," he sobs.

I give his hand a squeeze.

"I didn't come across a person who didn't like him. Nobody is going to forget him," I reply.

Peeta sniffs again as the cars come to a stop. Peeta tries to wipe the tears off his cheeks but I shake my head and grab a tight hold of his hand.

"You don't need to hide them. They show how much you love him," I say.

Peeta wipes one last tear away but gives me a grateful smile. Rye helps his mother get out rather wobbily from the car in front and Peeta takes a deep breath before he reaches for the door handle.

"This is the hardest thing I've had to do," he admits.

I nod my head.

"It is a horrible thing. But you'll get through it. I know you will," I reply.

Peeta nods his head and only waits for just a moment longer before opening the door and getting out.

He doesn't let go of my hand as we make our way into the crematorium and tips his head at people as we walk past. Most return the gesture sombrely and then follow behind us as we walk in.

We have seats at the front and it doesn't take long for the rest of the seats to fill up. People cram into every available space and while Caroline turns to accept some of their condolences Peeta keeps his eyes to the front, focusing on the coffin. His hand dips into his suit pocket and curls around his speech that he has written, checking it is still there. The tears begin to fall again and he doesn't say a single word before the ordained person starts the ceremony.

He welcomes everyone and says a few words about Wheaton but the family were adamant that most of the speaking was done by the people who loved him the most. Caroline gets up first and retells the story of how she and Wheaton first met. The story involves a broken glass coffee table and whipped cream and it's nice to know that Wheaton didn't really change once he had a wife and kids. Rye then gets up and decides to rap about all the things he loved about his dad. Everyone laughs to begin with but the tears reappear as he nears the end and focusses on how much he misses him.

Finally it is Peeta's turn to get up and say something and I have heard him practise it so many times that I find myself mouthing the words along with him as he speaks.

"My earliest memory involves my dad. He was teaching me how to bake toffee fudge cupcakes for Halloween. He had bought us matching orange aprons and my very own wooden spoon. I still remember him smearing my face with cake mix and sticking the plastic spiders on top. And dad didn't care when I decided I wanted chocolate raisons in the mix. It didn't matter that they weren't on the recipe, Dad always told to me think outside the box and be creative," he says.

Peeta then pauses and looks in my direction. I give him an encouraging smile and will him to get through this without crying.

"And Dad certainly wasn't afraid to experiment himself. My Sundays were full of watching Dad experiment in the kitchen. Some of his creations, like the chocolate and whiskey cake were mouth-watering but others like the banana and duck pie were not," Peeta adds.

A small ripple of laughter rings out at this and it reminds me how much I loved to see Wheaton cook. He wasn't serious about much but he was about baking. Peeta has the exact same expression on his face when he is in the kitchen.

"I promise to carry on his tradition of thinking up the most random combinations. I have friends that will eat anything no matter how bad it tastes and I promise that I will name my next success after Dad. It's not going to be the same without him by my side but I know I will always think of him when I bake," Peeta says.

His voice cracks a little at the end and he has to pause to try and recompose himself.

"Baking was our biggest thing in common but as I look back Dad's influence is so clear on my life. He was the one to buy me my first set of graphic pencils. He always made sure he had room on the fridge for my drawings no matter how good they were. He was the one that helped me plan my very first date with my very first girlfriend. My friends all thought he was a legend because he got drunk with us and taught us embarrassing dance moves. And whenever I had a shitty day he was one of the first people I called. Some people are embarrassed by their dads but I only ever looked up to him and I can only hope I can be at least half the man he was," he says.

I don't even notice when the tears first start streaming down my face but I'm aware of them now. With so many shitty dads out there it doesn't seem fair that Peeta has lost his great one.

"I don't think I can say much more without bursting into tears so I just want to end with I loved him. And I think it's always going to feel like a little piece of me is missing. Thank you all for coming. It means so much to me and my family to know that so many people cared for him like we did," Peeta ends.

Many people nod their heads in agreement as they sniff back tears. Peeta ducks away from the microphone and dashes back to the safety of my side. I grab onto his hand tightly and press my forehead against his.

"That was beautiful," I say.

Peeta only sniffs in response as he gives my hand a squeeze and then Bran gets up to say his own piece.

* * *

The reality of Wheaton's death fully hits as we watch the coffin be taken away to be burned. We're never going to hear is deep belly laugh or listen to him talk about how great Liam Neeson films are. He's not going to be there to celebrate with us or embrace us when we are sad. I let the tears fall freely from my cheeks and Peeta clutches onto me even more tightly. I'm not sure when he's going to be okay again.

The wake is a little better than the funeral as people have so many good stories to tell about Wheaton but all of the Mellarks are exhausted by the end of the day. Everyone turns in for an early night and I sit on the end of Peeta's bed, brushing my hair, while I wait for him to come back from the bathroom.

When he eventually reappears he stops in his doorway wearing only his boxer shorts he looks around his room a little lost.

"I don't know what to do now," he says.

I immediately drop the brush and get off the bed to wrap him in a comforting embrace. Peeta's arms wrap around my back tightly as he clings to me and buries his head in my shoulder. I reach up to stroke his hair with my fingers.

"You take things day by day and then one day you'll wake up and realise today feels a little better than yesterday," I reply.

Peeta nods his head as he lifts it off my shoulder. He then reaches out to gently cup my cheek in his hand.

"Thank you so much for being here. I couldn't have done everything so far without you," he says.

"I'm always going to make sure you are okay," I reply.

Peeta nods his head and his thumb starts caressing my cheek. His eyes lock onto mine and look at me like they haven't done for a while. My heart starts picking up as he studies me intently again and instinctively my body moves closer to his.

"What do you want right now, Peeta?" I ask.

"You," he replies.

And the he pulls my head up and sears our lips together in a deep kiss. I rise on my toes to meet him and instantly open my mouth to let him in.

My hands roam over the solid muscles in his back and his hands run through my hair. Slowly we walk back towards his bed and we tumble down on top of it as soon as the backs of my legs hit it.

The fall breaks our kiss but I use the moment to flip us over so that I can straddle Peeta's waist. I discard my flimsy vest top and Peeta immediately sits up to engulf one of my breasts in his mouth. I moan as I hang my head back and his hand reaches up to play with my other tit. He sucks and licks and pinches and I savour every second of it. When he is done with the first one he kisses his way to the other and gives it the exact same treatment. I start to rock above him and want him to feel some of the pleasure I'm feeling.

I grab his head and pull him up for a kiss. After a few moments I lower him back onto the bed and then start kissing a trail down his body. I have one destination in my mind and it has been too long since I have had him in my mouth.

Peeta sighs as I kiss over his chest and then lick down his abdomen and my fingers eagerly twist into the waist band of his boxers to pull them down. I lick my lips as the sight of his erect length and then move my hair out the way so I can go down on him. But just as I am about to do so, Peeta gently pushes on my shoulder to get me to sit up.

"No. I just want to get lost in you. Will you allow it?" he asks.

I'm a little bit surprised but nod my head and Peeta sighs in relief before cupping my cheek and kissing me again. It is his turn to lower me to the bed and he makes sure he kisses every inch of my body. He makes me cum with his fingers. Then with his tongue and I'm so breathless when he eventually pushes inside of me that I'm not sure I can take much more.

But I find that of course I can. This is Peeta. He has been the constant in my life for as long as I can remember. And I love him.

I wrap my legs around his waist and don't dare look away from him as he moves inside of me with slow purposeful thrusts. This isn't about a quick release tonight and every few thrusts Peeta bends down to give me kiss.

Both our orgasms build slowly and the pace never really picks up but when we do eventually reach our peak it is more powerful than anything I've had in a long time.

Peeta collapses on top of me as soon as we finish and I reach up to run my fingers through his hair.

"Thank you," he mumbles into my chest. "That was just what I needed."

I don't say anything in response and we lay in silence for a long moment before Peeta eventually gets up to clean himself up. When he comes back he pulls me into his chest and falls asleep almost immediately. For the first time in a long time he has no nightmares.

* * *

When I wake up the next morning I find Peeta's side of the bed empty. I instantly worry that he regrets what happens last night. We haven't talked about the state of our relationship since his father's death but we have definitely felt more like a couple. But maybe I was wrong to assume things and I've just made things worse after last night.

I throw on a striped t-shirt and pull on some jeans before padding downstairs in search of him. It doesn't take long to find him and I'm pleased to see he's in the kitchen. He has tried to avoid it as much as possible since his dad died but his shoulders don't seem as tense today as he stands by the hob cooking pancakes.

"Hey," he says with a smile. "I didn't want to wake you and then thought I could make you pancakes."

I smile back at him as I take a seat at the breakfast bar. Peeta pours me a cup of tea and then passes me a plate of blueberry pancakes. It smells delicious but I don't want to ignore what happened last night.

"So last night…" I start.

Peeta smiles as he takes a seat next to me and takes a drink of tea. He turns to look at me once he has put the cup back down.

"Last night was nice. I have no regrets. I never do with you," he says.

I let out a sigh of relief but can hear the but coming.

"But I can't start things up with you again. Not right now anyway. I'm not in the right head space to be with you again," he says.

I nod my head but I can't lie and say there isn't part of me disappointed with his words.

"I know you've wanted me to talk about what happened with my dad. You haven't said anything but I've seen it in your eyes. But I haven't been ready to talk about it. But I think I'm ready to talk about it now," he carries on.

Even though I'm disappointed by his earlier words these ones come to me with a big sense of relief. I've been terrified he's bottled everything up and this seems like a good step forward.

"I need to deal with Dad's death and I just don't have the emotional energy to invest in that and being a good boyfriend to you right now," he says.

I give him a small smile to show him I understand.

"I love you. I always have. But right now I need a friend more than I need a girlfriend. Do you think you can do that?" he asks.

I smile again as I take a step towards him. I make sure I am looking straight into his eyes as I answer

"Of course I can, Peeta. l will be whatever you need me to be," I reply.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

_22 years old_

I get a message from Peeta as I pour myself a cup of tea to go with my early morning breakfast.

_Have a great first day at your new job! You're going to wow them with your vast knowledge of plants. Xxx_

I smile as I type out my reply.

_Thanks. Though my boss has been a botanist for over twenty years. I'm not sure there is anything I know about plants that he doesn't already know! Are you still on for a curry tonight to celebrate my first day in a proper adult job? X_

Peeta's reply comes instantly.

_I've already picked out what we both want on the menu _

I smile again. I completely trust Peeta to know exactly what I want and my stomach grumbles at the thought. But as much as I want to carrying on talking to him it really wouldn't look good if I was late on my first day of work.

I managed to graduate with a first class degree in botany from Edinburgh uni and after looking over a variety of options, my tutor sent we over a job that I finally found interesting. She got me an interview at The Royal Botanic Gardens Edinburgh and I managed to a secure a job working there on their research team. I'll probably spend my first year doing all the shitty jobs for the lead researcher but there will be scope for me to lead my own research down the line.

I quickly drink my tea and grab a bite of toast before ducking out the door to catch the bus to my first day of work.

I fiddle with the end of my braid as I sit outside the lead researcher's office and wait to be properly introduced. I suddenly question if my jean and t-shirt combo is too casual for a working environment but this is what the researchers at uni would wear. But then maybe it is a more formal here. I'm busy scolding myself for not trying to be a bit smarter when the door of my new boss' office opens and out he steps.

Immediately I let out a sigh of relief when I see him wearing dark washed jeans and faded t-shirt. He reaches out his hand for me with a kind grin.

"Welcome, Katniss. We can't wait to have you on our team," he says.

"Thanks so much for giving me this job, Mr Latier. I actually quoted some of your work in my final research project at uni," I reply.

"Please call me Beetee. We're going to be working pretty closely and I hate those formalities," he says.

Any nerves I have disappear at his words. He seems friendly and relaxed and this puts me as ease as he starts to show me around. The lab is pretty high tech and very clean and I crane my neck round to get good glimpses of some of the projects the team are working on. Everyone we come across greets me with a big smile and welcoming words and Beetee makes it easy for me to ask any questions I have. There is so much I want to know as he shows me around but I'm cautious that I don't bombard him with too many questions. I'm just so eager to get started.

Eventually we come to the station I will be working at for the foreseeable future and Beetee tells me to get comfortable.

"I apologise that you job is mainly going to be sorting and labelling samples to begin with but hopefully I'll be able to give you more interesting jobs in a couple of months. All I ask of my employees is to work hard and don't be afraid to question. The best research comes from thinking outside the box," he says.

I nod my head.

"I knew someone who said something very similar," I say, thinking about Peeta's dad and his eagerness to think creatively.

Beetee smiles at me and then starts giving me my instructions for the day. I listen carefully and nod my head at all the right times but we are interrupted by someone else coming through the door. We both look up to see a very tall and very attractive dark haired man enter wearing his lab coat over a The Strokes t-shirt. Beetee's eyes light up when he sees him and he gives him a warm smile.

"Ah, Gale! I was wondering when we would bump into you on our travels. I would like to introduce you to Katniss Everdeen. She's our new recruit and very enthusiastic," Beetee says. "Katniss, this is Gale. He is one of the best on our team. He's got a great analytical mind and has really pushed our boundaries since he started here two years ago."

Gale turns his gaze to mine and a warmth spreads through my body at the sight of his chiselled jawline and piercing grey eyes. He gives me a confident smile and I don't miss how his eyes quickly sweep over my body.

"It's nice to meet you, Katniss," he says.

He then reaches out his hand to shake my mine and I don't hesitate to take it. Gale doesn't take his eyes off me as he takes it and a frisson of electricity seems to shoot through my body at his touch. I don't remember the last time a man had such a physical effect on me.

Gale seems to keep hold of my hand longer than usual and I'm not complaining. Already my mind is wondering to what he looks like underneath his lab coat. But when he finally lets go I mentally scold myself. I'm here to work and learn not lust after attractive young men.

Gale steps back and then turns to look at Beetee.

"The only reason I'm that good is because of this man. He's the real genius," he says.

Beetee shakes his head a little embarrassed.

"I try to encourage my team to bring out the best of each other. I don't believe in egos. Everyone's contribution is valued," he says.

I nod my head in agreement but I'm conscious that Gale is looking at me again and I use all my energy to not look back at him.

"I hope I can be a real asset to the team," I say.

Beetee grins at me.

"I'm sure you will be," he says. "Are you okay to get started now? If you needed anything just ask Gale. He works from here too."

Oh great. I'm going to be in close proximity of the maybe the hottest man I have ever seen. That's not going to be distracting at all. Gale just smiles at me again.

"There is no such thing as a stupid question. Apart from is an egg a fruit or a vegetable? As a botanist that one really hurts my soul," he replies.

I snort a little in laughter and he grins back at me. Beetee laughs too and then turns to leave. Soon I'm left with alone with the hot Gale. He's still smiling at me and walks over to pick up a lab coat which he then comes over to give me.

"This is a really good place. I think you will have fun working here," he says.

I take the lab coat off him and nod my head.

"Anything will be better than that month I spent working in a late night MacDonalds. One girl got mad that we had run out of chicken nuggets so she started lobbing chips and ketchup packets at me at two in the morning," I reply.

It's Gale's turn to laugh now and I feel pride in doing so. It's been a while since I had any banter with a new guy.

"What a waste of MacDonalds chips. I tried to write the government recently to suggest that is made a crime. Strangely I haven't heard back," he jokes.

"How shocking! Surely saving Macdonalds chips is a greater priority that reducing crime and educating kids," I reply.

Gale chuckles again and gives me a big smile.

"I think we're going to get on. Welcome to the Botanics," he says.

I smile back and I feel like I already have an ally at work.

* * *

I am a professional though and don't allow myself to get too distracted by Gale as I start my work for the day. He sits with me at lunch though and after I ask him about his t-shirt we spend the entire time talking about bands we like and the best gigs we've been too. At the end of the day we both go home with song recommendations to listen to when we get in.

I'm in a pretty good mood as a result when I get in and sing to myself as I enter the flat. Darius raises his eyebrow at me as I saunter into the kitchen and grab a banana out of the fruit bowl.

"I don't think I've ever come home singing from work. It must have been a good day," he says.

I nod my head as I take a seat next to him.

"I don't think it could have gone better. The equipment they have in the lab is even better than the university and I'm just in awe of Beetee every time he opens up his mouth. I've read so many of his papers while I was at uni and to work for him now is surreal," I say.

Darius nods his head.

"That's cool. What are the rest of the people like there?" he asks.

"Everyone is really nice. Though I have to work next to this really hot guy. It's a little distracting," I say.

Darius' eyes twinkle.

"Just how hot are we talking about?" he asks.

"Like Chris Hemsworth hot," I reply.

Darius lets out a low whistle.

"Damn. You're in trouble," he says.

I shake my head.

"I'm not at work to fuck my co-workers. I actually want to do a good job," I say.

Darius grins at me.

"I'm only teasing. But who's to say you can't have some fun while Peeta is trying to sort himself out," he says.

I roll my eyes at him.

"For some reason I don't think that would be a good idea," I reply.

Darius shrugs his shoulder.

"Who knows when Peeta is going to be ready to date you again. I'm just saying that it's a long time to go without sex," he says.

I sigh, not really enjoying the conversation anymore. It's been three months since Peeta's dad died and he's still finding it tough. There will be several days in a row where it seems like he is fine again but then only last week I got a call from him crying because he burnt a batch of his dad's shortbread recipe. Him and the rest of the family have just started family therapy which did seem to help a little bit but it has been a long process so far.

And I don't want to rush Peeta. He needs to go through this at his own pace but it's sometimes hard to remind myself that I'm only his friend right now.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I say. "I want to hear about your love life. How's things going with the new guy?"

Darius actually blushes and ducks his head when I say this. He's been a lot more comfortable with his sexuality and met a guy on a dating app called Gloss that he seems to really like. I think they have been out three or four times now and I know he must be serious about him because he hasn't slept with him yet.

"Things are good. We're actually going out tonight. There's a comedy show on that we thought we would check out," he says.

I can't stop beaming at his words.

"I'm so proud of you for going out in public," I reply.

Darius chuckles and runs a hand through his hair as he leans back.

"I still haven't told the rugby team yet. But they are unlikely to be at this thing tonight," he says.

I nod my head. I can understand why he finds it so difficult to tell his rugby mates but if he is serious about Gloss he can't keep going places he thinks the rugby team won't be at.

"I'm just glad you are a bit happier. And we want to meet Gloss soon," I say.

Darius laughs.

"I've not even slept with him. I don't want Johanna to scare him off before that's happened," he says.

I smile.

"Well get a move on and sleep with him. Johanna is already Instagram stalking him. Do you know he went horseback riding in Peru last year and is a fan of _Downton_ _Abbey_?" I say.

"Oh don't get me started about the _Downton_ _Abbey_ thing. He says he just started watching it because of his mum but he has way too many opinions on the show to have been a casual watcher," he replies.

We both laugh and Darius starts telling me more things he has learned about Gloss. He can't shake the smile of his face as he talks about him and I really like seeing this side of our friend.

Eventually Darius gets up to get ready for his date and Peeta messages me to confirm he is on his way round with the curry.

I let him in a little bit later with a smile and inhale the sweat aroma of the food deeply.

"Oh that smells amazing!" I declare.

Peeta smiles at me as we start getting out the plates.

"It was tempting to pull over and eat it in the car on my way over," he says.

I raise my eyebrow.

"You sounded just like me there. You normally have more self-control than that," I say.

Peeta laughs.

"Cleary I'm spending way too much time with you," he replies.

"Hey! Don't complain. I'm awesome company," I say.

"I don't know. You're not very funny," he teases.

I gently thump him on the arm.

"Then you must have a shit sense of humour because you always laugh at my jokes," I reply.

Peeta grins at me and then we settle down to tuck into the curry. I moan as I take the first bite.

"Thank you so much for this," I say. "How's your day been any way?"

Peeta just shrugs his shoulder.

"Not too eventful. I woke up at five this morning and couldn't get back to sleep so managed to get to the gym before work," he says.

I pause eating for a moment to look at him.

"Nightmares again?" I ask.

Peeta looks down at his food as he nods his head.

"It was the same as usual. I had to watch dad die again. But the family therapist said this can be normal. Mum apparently has them too. It's easier for Bran and Rye. They weren't there. They didn't have to see it. I wish I could forget it," he says.

I reach out to give his hand a squeeze.

"It was a horrible thing to witness but at least you were there when he went. I know your dad would have been glad you were with him and that he wasn't alone," I say.

Peeta gives me a small smile.

"I hadn't thought of it like that before," he says. "You're right. I think it would have hurt more to know he had died alone."

I nod my head and Peeta lets out a little sigh. He then leans back and lets go of my hand. He runs a hand through his curls before speaking again.

"This curry was about your first day of work and you've told me nothing about it," he says.

I smile, satisfied I have made him feel a bit better and get ready to talk about my day.

"I spent most of the day putting samples into tubes and labelling them but I loved every second of it. It feels good to finally get paid to do something that I actually enjoy," I say.

"So unlike the MacDonalds job then?" Peeta says with a grin.

I laugh before giving him a minute by minute run down of my day. If he finds any of it boring he never stops me and I get more excited about it the longer I talk. Peeta smiles as he listens to me and it's good to know somebody else is happy for me.

But I don't mention Gale to him in all of my retelling. For some reason the two of them just don't fit well together in my mind.

* * *

The next few weeks I get stuck in my new job and quickly pick up their daily routines. Beetee is a really friendly boss and checks in on me at least once a day to make sure I'm finding my feet okay. I feel like I've learned lots in the first month and genuinely look forward to going into work every day.

But I have to admit that the job is made more enjoyable by working beside Gale. It turns out he is more than just his good looks and we constantly geek out together about the fact we get to work with Beetee Latier.

"Did you read his paper on averting biodiversity collapse in tropical forest protected areas?" Gale asks me.

"Oh my God! Yes! It totally changed the way I view biodiversity protection. It really has some ground breaking ideas," I reply.

"Tell me about it. I would love to do a Phd on the topic and I'm trying to convince Beetee to take me out to the Amazon," Gale says.

"That would be amazing. I would be so jealous if you went," I say

"I suppose I could always put in a request for a certain fellow passionate botanist to come with me," he says with a twinkle in his eye.

I smile and a small spark of energy runs through my body at the compliment.

My physical attraction to Gale has not evaporated. I've never had such a strong physical attraction to someone before and my body seems to be hyper aware whenever he is near. As he reaches across me to collect a jar, his arm gently brushes against mine and my body instantly reacts. A prickle of heats runs through me and all the hair on my arms stand on end.

I think Gale feels it too as he gives me a sexy smile as he pulls back.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to bump you," he says.

But his smile tells me that he isn't sorry at all. And his eyes lock onto mine with a penetrating force and I'm surprise that he can't hear my heart that is beating so furiously in my chest. His stare makes me feel like I'm locked in a trance and every nerve in my body screams to reach out and touch him.

"I think you did it on purpose. Any excuse to touch me," I reply.

My head screams at me, asking me why I'm flirting. I'm not looking for anything. And then there's Peeta. But my body seems instinctively turns to Gale and inch closer to him. Gale also shifts closer to me so that our fronts are only a centimetre away from each other and I struggle to keep my breathing under control.

"So what if I did? Would you mind?" he asks.

"No," I reply a bit too quickly.

The heat between us has intensified quickly and almost become unbearable. I know I should be focussing on plants right now but all I can think about is ripping off his lab coat and band t-shirt, something I'm pretty sure would get me fired.

Gale smiles at me and reaches out to run a hand down my arm. His touch almost makes me combust.

"I think you're beautiful, Katniss. And I hate bullshitting so would you go on a date if I asked?" he says.

I open my mouth immediately to say yes because right now all my body wants is to be as close to this person as possible. But before I can form the word my senses kick in and I'm reminded of Peeta. It was only three months ago that I was ready to be with him again. How can I agree to go on a date with another man?

I close my mouth and take a step back from Gale. He frowns a little in confusion as I shake my head.

"I don't know," I say.

Gale's frown deepens as he tips his head to the side to study me.

"Sorry. Did I misread the situation?" he asks.

"It's complicated," I reply.

Gale's eyes widen.

"You don't have a boyfriend, do you?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"No. But like I said, it's complicated," I say.

Gale lets out a sad sigh.

"Look I don't want to get in the middle of anything complicated. But I really like you. You're smart and passionate and attractive. And if our sexual tension is anything to go by the sex would be great," he says.

I let out a light laugh. Even him saying the word sex has me imagining us both without our clothes on as we devour each other. I don't remember ever wanting sex with someone so badly.

"Can I get back to you? I just need to sort some things out first," I say.

Gale nods his head as he smiles and steps back towards his station.

"Okay," he says. "But just to let you know, I'll be thinking about you when I'm in the shower later."

I swear I feel my fanny flutter as I imagine soapy suds dripping down his muscular body. And the thought of him wrapping his hand around his dick as he thinks of me sends a thrill through me.

I give him a wry smile as I turn back to my work.

"I think we should keep that chat out of the work place. I don't want to come across as unprofessional," I say.

Gale smiles back at me and I have to list Latin names of plants in my head to cool myself down.

* * *

Once the distraction of my work is over, all I can think about on my way home is Gale and his offer. It has made me question everything I thought I knew. I thought I was about to get back with Peeta but how can I be having these thoughts about another man? I enter the flat feeling extremely confused and flop down on the sofa with a heavy sigh.

Johanna sits on a chair opposite scrolling through something on her phone but she looks up at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What's got you in a mood?" she asks.

I sigh heavily as I sit up to face her more fully.

"Gale asked me out today," I reply.

Johanna's eyes widen in surprise and she puts her phone down and leans forward.

"The hot guy from your work? Wow. I've seen his Instagram pictures and you should definitely take that as a compliment," she says.

"Don't tell me that you Instagram stalked him as well," I say.

Johanna shrugs her shoulders.

"When you said he was hot I had to see exactly how hot. And my Instagram stalk showed me that he doesn't seem to have a girlfriend," she says.

I shake my head at her and then there is a short pause.

"What did you say?" Johanna asks after a while.

"I said I would get back to him. But, Jo, in that moment all I wanted to do is jump and have him right there in the lab. I've never felt like that before," I reply.

"It's called lust, Katniss. And it's a fantastic feeling," she says.

I shake my head.

"I don't know what to do," I say.

Johanna smiles at me.

"I think it's pretty clear what you want to do," she says. "But I think I also know why you don't want to do it."

I look down as I pick at my nails.

"I have Peeta," I say.

Johanna sighs.

"You guys have the most complicated relationship of anyone I know," she says.

I continue picking at my nails and then there is another short pause before Johanna speaks again.

"Peeta wants you guys to just be friends right now and I think you are getting too caught up in all that endgame stuff he told you over a year ago. Just because he said that doesn't mean that you two have to end up together. I don't believe in all that fate and destiny crap. You are free to make your own choices without consulting him. If you like another guy go out with him. You'll regret it if you don't," she says.

I look up at her now and realise she is making a lot of sense. When did I let my life revolve around my relationship with Peeta? It feels like since he broke up with Cashmere I've just been waiting for that moment for us to get back together and I've missed out on things.

"You're right. I don't want to just be sitting around waiting for him," I say.

Johanna nods her head and leans back in her chair, satisfied that I have listened to her advice. I then pick up my phone and only pause for a moment before I text Gale that I will go on a date with him.

* * *

The next morning I arrange to meet Peeta for coffee. I might not have to consult him on the choices I make but I think it's only right I tell him what I'm doing. I've kept Gale secret long enough from him.

However when I go through to the kitchen I'm surprised to find a muscular blond looking confused at our cupboards. He only wears a pair of tight white boxer briefs and his hair has that just had sex look. I smile as I step beside him.

"You must be Gloss. I'm Katniss. Darius' flatmate," I say.

Gloss drags his eyes away from the cupboards and turns to me with a warm smile.

"Nice to meet you, Katniss. I'm sorry I'm not wearing more clothes," he says.

I laugh.

"It's okay. Can I help you with anything?" I ask.

Gloss nods as he turns back to the cupboards.

"I thought I would make Darius some French toast but I don't know where anything is," he says.

I smile at his sweet gesture and then step forward to pull out a pan from a lower cupboard.

"No problem. Here's the pan. Bread is there and eggs are in here," I say. "And I'm sure you'll learn where everything is quickly. I've got a feeling that this is not going to be your only visit."

Gloss grins as he takes the pan off me.

"I hope not. I really like him," he says. "And I hope I get to know you better."

I smile back at him.

"He really likes you too," I reply. "And now you've slept over we can invite you to join us at the pub. I will warn you, our flatmate, Johanna, has already Instagram stalked you and knows everything about you."

Thankfully Gloss laughs at this.

"Did I pass her seal of approval?" he asks.

I grin again.

"Yeah. You are doing good," I say.

Gloss smiles back and although I would like to get to know the guy that is making Darius happy, I need to head out to meet Peeta. I say goodbye to Gloss and make a promise to invite him to the pub the next time we all go out. Gloss says he is looking forward to it and then I duck out the door.

* * *

Peeta is already at the café when I arrive and he gives me a cheery smile. He's looking a lot more rested that he has been lately and I really hope that the nightmares are less frequent and he is getting better nights' sleep.

"Hey. You'll be pleased to know they have pancakes and Nutella on the menu," he says.

I grin as I take a seat opposite him and he hands me a menu.

"Well then I won't need to look at the rest of the menu," I say as I do a quick scan. "Let me guess. You're going for the eggs benedict."

"You know me so well," Peeta replies.

We share a smile and then the waitress comes over to take our orders. Once she leaves I suddenly get a little nervous as I think about what I have to tell Peeta. I don't want to hurt him.

I fiddle with my napkin and tap my foot against the floor and Peeta raises his eyebrows at me.

"Are you okay? You seem jittery this morning. Did you eat cheese last night and have a bad dream," he teases.

I laugh and try to relax a little more.

"You know I always have cheese before I go to bed," I joke. "Cheese is the best food and should be worshipped at all times."

Peeta laughs as he shakes his head and then the waitress comes back with the coffees. I take mine eagerly and take a sip before preparing myself for what I've got to say.

"I've got something to tell you," I say.

"Oh no. Don't tell me the zombie apocalypse has started and you have been bitten. I'm not sure I could shoot your head off," he replies.

I laugh as I shake my head.

"Not that I know of but I'm disappointed that you couldn't kill me for the greater good," I say.

Peeta grins at me and I then take a deep breath.

"I work with this guy Gale at the Botanics," I start, "and he asked me out yesterday. I said yes."

Peeta looks momentarily surprised and sits back a little in his chair but with a shake of his head he quickly composes himself and puts a smile on his face.

"That's great. You haven't been on a date in ages," he replies.

I nod my head.

"Yeah. I might need to get some tips off Johanna. I'm a little out of practise," I say.

Peeta nods and then there is a short silence.

"Is he a good guy?" he asks.

I smile.

"Yeah. We spend way too much time talking about plants but I think he's a good guy," I say.

"Good. You deserve a good guy," he replies.

We share a smile and I search his face for any sign of disappointment but if he is then he's hiding it really well. I let out an internal sigh of relief that he's taken it so well but can't help but think it shouldn't be this easy between us.

Our food comes soon after and we move on to talk about our latest box set obsessions. I don't mention Gale again and Peeta and I carry on like we always have.

* * *

**A/N: A lot of you have been waiting for Gale to turning up. Things are going to be resolved between Katniss and Peeta any time soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This isn't going to be a fun for Everlark but trust they are still endgame!**

_Chapter 10_

_22 years old_

I lie in bed dozing, not quite ready to open my eyes yet and savouring the fact I don't need to rush out of bed on this Saturday morning. But then the hand on my hip starts to move and slide up underneath my t-shirt. Long fingers find my breast and gently tweak my nipple. A kiss on my shoulder follows soon after before a voice whispers in my ear.

"Katniss, are you awake?" Gale's husky voice asks.

I let out a deep contented sigh as his fingers continue to dance over my skin.

"I am now," I reply, my eyelids finally fluttering open.

I can feel Gale's grin against my skin and I twist onto my back and grab his neck so that I can kiss him properly. Gale's arms immediately wrap around me and my legs fall open so that he can nestle between my thighs. His morning hardness pushes against my core and that is all it really takes for the dampness to appear in my underwear.

It's been four months now but it is still embarrassing how quickly this man turns me on. My blood seems to just run hotter when he is near and working beside him every day is a near form of torture. We keep things professional in the work place but he only has to walk close past me for the goosebumps to rise up on my arms. Most days we rush home after work and tear at each other's clothes as soon as we have walked through the door.

Gale's sliding my underwear down now and I'm excited at the prospect of Saturday morning sex but just as I reach down to guide him into my entrance my bedroom door bursts open and Darius storms in wearing only a patterned pair of boxer shorts.

"Stop what you are doing. I need your help," he exclaims.

Gale groans as my hand falls from his dick quickly and he then rolls off me. I pull the sheets further up my chest as I fix my gaze on Darius.

"What the hell, Darius? You've interrupted something," I say.

Darius puts his hands on his hip as he looks down on me.

"I listened for a minute before I came in. If your muted sounds are anything to go by I wasn't interrupting anything good. Certainly if you compare it to the grunts coming from Johanna's room," he replies.

Gale shakes his head.

"I think I should be insulted by that," he says.

"Take it as constructive criticism. Aim higher next time. I don't care if I hear you guys banging. I mean Gloss and I did walk in on you two going at it on the kitchen time at Christmas so there are no secrets between us now," Darius says.

I laugh and Gale hangs his head.

"You have a very nice arse by the way, Gale. Gloss and I both agreed it was in the top five arses we have seen," Darius adds.

"Thanks, I guess," Gale replies.

He then turns to me and I can't help but smile. I turn to look back at Darius.

"Well since you interrupted morning sex, this better be good," I say.

Darius looks serious as he nods his head.

"This is an emergency and I need your help," he says. He then pauses for dramatic effect. "Valentine's Day is ten days away and I have got absolutely nothing planned for Gloss. He hinted he's got something planned for me last night and I have no clue what to do for him. I've never had a relationship that has lasted this long before. What do couples do on Valentine's Day?"

"Hopefully have sex if they aren't interrupted by their partner's flatmate," Gale replies.

Darius rolls his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I gave you blue balls, Gale but I need serious suggestions here. I love Gloss and I don't think my Magic Mike strip tease is going to be enough," he says.

I still smile whenever I hear Darius say he loves Gloss. They are such a good couple. Gloss is a little bit more serious than Darius but this helps from Darius doing anything too outrageous and in turn Darius makes sure that Gloss loosens up every now and again.

"It sounds like you've got the end of the night sorted. You just need to think of something romantic or thoughtful to do before," I reply.

"This is my problem, Katniss. I don't know how to do romantic. My Christmas present of a knitted rainbow willy warmer did not go down well," he says.

I bite back a laugh as I remember Gloss' reaction to that gift after he had spent ages creating a selection of craft beers and engraved pint glass for Darius.

"Why are you asking me about this? I may be less romantic than you. Gale and I aren't even celebrating Valentine's Day," I say.

Darius sighs as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"You're right. I should have never come to you. Peeta is who I need," he says.

I nod my head in agreement and then Darius turns to leave.

"Sorry for interrupting you earlier. Go back to having sex," he says.

I shake my head as he finally leaves my room and then turn back to Gale.

"Well I think that well and truly killed the mood," I say.

Gale shrugs his shoulder.

"He really has no boundaries, does he?" he says.

"Just be grateful he has clothes on. Once I woke up and his dick was swinging near my face. That was all because he had seen a mouse in his room," I reply.

Gale laughs and runs a hand through his hair.

"I hope he thinks of something good. Even if I only want that so he doesn't interrupt us again," he says.

"Don't worry. Peeta will sort him out. He's all about big romantic gestures," I reply.

Gale raises his eyebrow at me.

"So I take it you were on the receiving end of some of these gestures," Gale says.

I shrug my shoulder.

"It doesn't matter what Peeta did back then. I'm with you now," I reply.

Gale smiles and reaches out to pull me towards him. I press against his chest and rest my hand on his bicep as I look up at him.

"So you really don't mind that we aren't doing anything for Valentine's Day? I've always found it so commercialised. I don't need to be told what day to show my girlfriend that I care about her," he says.

"Like I said to Darius, I'm not romantic. I'm quite happy to do what we normally do on a Tuesday night. We get back from work, have sex and then watch Netflix as we eat pizza," I reply.

Gale smiles as he cups my cheek.

"That sounds perfect to me," he says.

I smile back before reaching up and sealing my lips with his.

* * *

This time we are not interrupted by Darius and we eventually drag ourselves out of bed just before noon. Gale heads to the gym but we arrange to meet up later at the pub with my friends to watch the start of the rugby Six Nations Championship. Darius has an early game with his rugby team today so he promises to meet up with us after it's finished although Gloss will be with us from the start.

"Make sure you look after him, guys. And don't let him buy you drinks all afternoon. He is sometimes too nice for his own good," Darius says just before he ducks out the door.

We arrive at the pub an hour before Scotland kick off their match but the pub is pretty busy already. Scotland play Ireland today and there are a fair few people in Irish strips milling amongst the Scottish ones. Pints of Guinness seemed to be drunk more than usual and the bar staff seem to have _500_ _Miles_ and Bewitched played on a loop.

Johanna manages to find us a booth though and I wave at Peeta when he enters to let him know we are here. He smiles broadly as he takes a seat next to me.

"So predictions today? I think Scotland have a chance," he says.

Johanna shakes her head.

"Who really cares? The Irish are good craic whether we win or lose. I'm here to get drunk," she says.

Many of us laugh and then I turn to Peeta.

"Hey. Did Darius call you about Valentine's Day?" I ask.

Peeta grins.

"I was at the supermarket when he first tried to call me and when I left I had three missed calls and 5 messages begging for my help," he replies.

"That sounds about right. He just barged into my room this morning to ask for help," I say.

Peeta raises his eyebrow.

"Was Gale with you?" he asks.

"Don't worry. I had some of my clothes on," I say with a smile.

Peeta shakes his head just as Thresh comes back with the first round of drinks. Peeta grabs a beer eagerly and takes a long sip.

"I'm not going to spoil what Darius and I came up with as Gloss is sitting just over there but I'm pretty sure it's going to go down better than the willy warmer," he says.

I laugh before taking a sip of my own beer.

"I knew you would be the right man to help. That surprise trip up north for my seventeenth birthday is still one of my favourite surprises. Remember how obsessed with VW camper vans I was at the time? I actually squealed with delight when you rocked up at my house driving a rented one. And that beach we slept next to was just beautiful. I still have that picture you painted of the beach hanging in my room," I say.

"Being romantic is all about knowing your audience. You loved VW camper vans and the outdoors so a road trip to Alchemlvich beach where we could snuggle around a camp fire eating toasted marshmallows was the perfect surprise. Someone else might prefer fairy lights and a string quartet. If you truly love someone it's easy to plan the romantic stuff," he replies.

"That's a nice way of putting it," I say.

Peeta nods his head.

"Darius thought he wasn't romantic but as soon as I asked him what Gloss liked he came up with something. He just needed me to guide him," he says.

I smile at Peeta but then my eye catches Gale coming through the door. His hair is still wet from his shower at the gym and he wears a warm green Northface jacket. Even in his outdoor gear I get the usual flash of heat coursing through my body and he scans the room for a minute before spotting us. I give him a big smile as he catches my eye. I get up to greet him with a quick kiss and Peeta slides along the booth so Gale can sit next to me.

"Hey! What is everyone drinking? I'll get in another round before the game kicks off," he says.

People quickly reel off their answer and I offer to help Gale at the bar however Peeta stands up instead.

"I'll help Gale. Madge is dying to tell you about her disastrous Tinder date," he says.

Madge nods her head vigorously.

"Honestly, it was a new low. I need a good bitch about it," she says.

I nod my head and Peeta and Gale share a smile.

"Thanks, mate. We'll be back soon," Gale says.

I smile at them as they leave before taking a seat next to Madge and then flicking my eyes over to the bar. Peeta and Gale seem to be chatting amicably and Gale even laughs at one point.

"Do you ever wonder if they are talking about you when they are together?" Madge asks.

I drag my eyes away from them to look at her.

"Cashmere and I didn't really compare notes when Peeta was dating her. They are probably just talking about the game," I say.

Madge grins.

"But you find it strange when they talk to each other," she says.

"Yeah. It's so weird having your past and your present side by side. Particularly when my relationships with them both are so different. With Peeta we had that innocence of first love. It was sweet and tender. My relationship with Gale has a lot more heat," I admit.

"Yeah. Gale doesn't really seem like the sweet and tender type to me," Madge says. "But it does amaze me that you and Peeta can date other people and you can be friendly with the new partner. You are better people than I am."

I smile.

"I don't know about that," I say. "And why are we talking about me? I want to hear about this date."

Madge rolls her eyes and takes a big sip of her gin and tonic before launching into a story that includes poo, a toilet that won't flush and her date getting stuck in a window.

Peeta and Gale are still getting on well when they come back with the next round of drinks and when the game starts the two of them get quite analytical together both teams' tactics. Amazingly Scotland come out with a bang and are 21-8 up by half time having scored three great tries. The pub is getting a bit delirious and many Scottish fans wrap arms around strangers as an excited buzz ripples throughout the whole room.

Thresh and Johanna go to get more drinks and then I spy Gloss looking down at his phone with a frown.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

Gloss sighs as he stuffs his phone away.

"I'm fine. Darius just texted to say that they won the game and now the team are staying at the clubhouse to watch the second half. He's not coming," he says.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe he's ditched us," I say.

"I can. The rugby team has this weird hold on him. He'll do anything they say so that he feels like he can fit in," Gloss replies.

I nod my head.

"And he wouldn't even think of inviting me along. Because then he would have to admit to them he's gay and that's the last thing he wants to do," he adds.

I reach out to give Gloss's arm a comforting squeeze. Darius still hasn't admitted to the team that he is gay and they have no idea Gloss exists. I know he's scared about their reaction but he's hurting the man he loves in the process.

"I can't pretend to know what it's like for you. But I can promise I will give Darius shit for ditching you when I see him later," I say.

Gloss smiles at me.

"Thanks. But he'll be getting some shit from me about it too," he says.

I nod my head again.

"If it's any consolation he's planning something romantic for you for Valentine's Day. It's actually been kind of cute to see him stress about it. We never thought he would care about someone enough to stress about Valentine's Day," I say.

Gloss laughs.

"That's good to know. He's a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass so I'm willing to forgive him for things every now and again," he replies.

We share a smile but our attention is turned by Gale and Johanna who seem to be having an argument that is getting more heated.

"Come on. Even you have to admit a lot of people voted for Brexit because they wanted to stop immigration. That was the saddest thing about the result. I realised that our country is still quite racist and doesn't want foreigners," Johanna says.

Gale shakes his head furiously.

"You're wrong. Maybe some people voted that way but the majority of leave voters just wanted the EU to have less control over our government. Do you know some of the stupid rules the EU place on us? It's the EU that says we can't recycle teabags or children under eight can't blow up balloons. The UK tried to design better cab windows for truck drivers that would prevent cyclists being crushed but the designs had to go through the EU and France didn't like it so the designs were scraped. The EU doesn't have our best interests at heart," he replies passionately.

"The UK was doing fine while we were in the EU. Just because we will have more powers doesn't mean we will better off. Goodness knows what trade deals we'll get. I think we've just made everything more complicated for ourselves," I say.

Gale turns away from Johanna to look at me.

"Don't be stupid, Katniss. Sticking to the status quo isn't always what is best," he says.

I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Did you just call me stupid for having my own opinion?" I ask.

"That's not what I meant. Of course you are allowed your own opinion," he replies.

"But only if my opinion is the same as yours?" I say.

Gale opens his mouth but I shake my head, having had enough.

"I'm going to the bar. You can talk to me again when you can apologise for calling me stupid," I say.

I then push back my chair and storm to the bar leaving the rest of my friends sitting in silence.

The queue to the bar is long and I fold my arms across my chest and tap my foot impatiently. Gale can be so patronising at times! I know he reads a lot about politics but he can be so stubborn in his opinions. I try to avoid talking about it with him most of the time because it always ends in an argument between us. I don't know how on earth him and Johanna ended up talking about it today.

Eventually I get to the bar and order myself a Corona. As I wait for the barman to come back with my drink, I feel a large pair of hands grab onto my waist and someone bend to talk into my ear.

"I'm sorry, alright. I should have known better than to bring politics up in the pub. I definitely don't think you are stupid," Gale says.

I sigh but don't turn around to face him just yet.

"I actually read up quite a bit on Brexit for the vote last year, which is more than I can say for most people. I don't want you insulting my opinions again," I reply.

Gale nods and one of his hands slips underneath the hem of my shirt. He also brings his head down to my neck so that he can place a kiss there.

"I'm sorry again. I guess I have a lot of making up to you to do," he says.

He places more kisses on my neck and I lean my head to the side to give him better access just as the barman comes back with my beer. I pull some notes out of purse to pay for my drink as Gale's hands reach up higher under my shirt and his kisses get a little firmer on my neck.

"You certainly do," I say. "I'm expecting at least three orgasms tonight to make up for it."

Gale grins wickedly against my neck.

"I think I can make it four," he replies.

I pick up my beer and finally turn around to face him, planting a kiss on his lips to show and forgetting all about our disagreement.

* * *

The next few days pass by quickly. Work is busy and both Gale and I have to stay later than normal. Gloss does confront Darius about ditching us for the rugby team but after lots of apologies and a date to a travel photography show all is forgiven and the two of them are as happy as ever.

After his initial worries Darius seems to be getting excited about Valentine's Day and I must watch him try on a dozen different outfits as he tries to find an outfit that is smart but with just a little bit of sex appeal. His bedroom soon becomes a mess of coloured shirts and online shopping packaging as he gets more nervous about getting his appearance right.

When Valentine's Day does eventually come around, Darius takes half a day off to prepare his surprise and when Gale and I come back from work we find Darius working furiously in the kitchen with Peeta helping by his side. There are dozens of dirty pans and mixing bowls dotted around the kitchen and steam and sizzling sounds fill the room. But amongst the chaos it smells amazing.

"I think I'm hallucinating. Darius, what are you doing in the kitchen?" I ask.

Darius stops what he is doing to turn to me with a grin. He's wearing one of those aprons that has a set of very muscular looking abs on the front and his normally gelled hair is flat against his head due to all the steam.

"Peeta helped me come up with the idea. When he asked me what Gloss liked best, originally I was going to say my dick but then realised actually it was travelling. I'm making a dish from every one of his top five travel destinations. This is ceviche from Peru. It's cold cooked fish but delicious!" he says.

He holds a spoon up for me to try and I'm a little bit sceptical but lean forward to try some anyway. Immediately I'm glad that I did and I lick the spicy lime juice off my lips.

"That's amazing!" I say. "Clearly you've been hiding your cooking talent from us."

"He's had a lot of help from me. I know my dad encouraged experimenting but when you have never cooked before I think it's best to stick to the recipe. Darius nearly tried to add oregano to that," Peeta says.

"I thought it would make it look prettier," Darius replies. "And it's the thought that counts. I've bought a big picnic basket and I'm going to take it all around to Gloss'. When I'm there I'm going to make a tent fort and we're going to pretend we're camping in the Andes as we eat all this food."

I smile at Darius.

"That sounds lovely. I'm sure Gloss will love it," I say.

"Only the best for my man," Darius replies before turning back to the cooking.

Gale sidles up beside me and puts his arm around my waist but his gaze fixes on Peeta.

"It's good of you to hep Darius out, Peeta. Don't you have your own Valentine's Day date to plan for?" he asks.

Peeta shrugs his shoulder.

"Not tonight. There is only one girl I would ask out for Valentine's Day and she's not available right now," he says.

I tense at his words and Peeta throws a quick glance in my direction. Gale notices and his grip around my waist tightens.

"Too bad, mate. I'm sure you'll find someone," Gale says. He then turns to look at me. "I want to shower before we order some pizza. Do you want to join me?" he asks.

I nod my head and stand on my toes to kiss him.

"Just give me a minute. I've just got to sort something," I say.

Gale nods and bends down to give me a long kiss. Eventually he pulls away and he gives Peeta a long stare as he walks past. Once he has gone I grit my teeth and pin my stare on Peeta.

"Peeta, a word please," I state.

Peeta puts down his ladle and then wipes his hand on a tea towel before turning to look at me.

"Sure. Darius are you okay to take that off the boil in five minutes?" he says.

Darius looks up from his chopping to look between us. He senses the slightly tense atmosphere and gulps before nodding his head.

"Yeah. You go ahead. I think I've got this," he says.

Peeta smiles in thanks and then I tip my head towards the living room. Peeta follows me obediently through and I turn sharply to face him once we are inside.

"Why the hell did you just say that? In front of Gale? It was so obvious you were talking about me!" I exclaim.

"I was just telling him the truth. I'm sorry if either of you got offended by that," he replies.

"So are you trying to tell me that you want to be with me again? A hell of a time to bring it up! Gale doesn't need to know that," I say.

"If he's really secure in your relationship then it shouldn't bother him. He'll trust you enough to know that it doesn't mean anything," he says.

I shake my head.

"You can't act like his friend and then make comments like that. Now I think the whole nice thing has been an act towards him. It's just been a way to keep me close," I reply.

"I'm nice to him because I don't want to make things awkward for you. It would suck for your friend and boyfriend to not get on. And Gale seems like a good guy but that doesn't mean that I don't get jealous when I see you together," Peeta says.

"And making a comment insinuating that you want to take me out doesn't make things awkward? You're not making sense right now, Peeta. I thought you were fine with me and Gale," I say.

"I was. When I was still processing everything that happened with my dad but I've moved on from that now and I can't lie and say I don't want to be with you because if you were single, the first thing I would do is ask you out," he replies.

"But I'm not single. And I'm happy with Gale. And if you can't get on board with that then I don't know how we can be friends," I say.

Peeta hangs his head and scratches at the back of his neck.

"I know. I don't want to lose you from my life," he says.

He then pulls his head back up and takes a step towards me. He reaches out to gently touch my arm but I take a step back and he drops his hand by his side.

"I'm sorry that I said that in front of Gale but you know I can't lie to you. I needed to be honest about how I feel. And if you don't feel that way at the moment that's fine. But I'm always going to be here for you, Katniss. Even when your other relationships fall apart," he says.

I want to tell him that I don't see things with Gale and I ending any time soon but something stops me and I'm not a hundred per cent sure what it is. We then stand staring at each other in silence for a long moment before Peeta gives me a small smile and turns to head back to help Darius.

I think the whole conversation has made me even more confused.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

_23 years old_

Madge pours herself a large glass of red wine, grasping it tightly as she tucks her legs underneath her. She sighs heavily as a messy tendril of blonde hair falls across her face.

"Thanks for offering the wine. This week has been absolute shit," she says.

I smile sympathetically as I pick up my own glass. She finally graduated from her medical degree in the summer and last month started working in the wards as a junior doctor. It has been well documented in the papers in recent years how over worked the junior doctors are and there have been many nights when she has only got four hours sleep. This is only the second time I have seen her since she started.

"The wards have been more hectic than usual this week I take it," I reply.

Madge nods her head before she takes a large gulp of wine.

"I don't mind that I get given all the shit jobs or that the nurses have had to help me fit a canular but there is just no time for rest. I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail. Plus this week I had the added bonus of being peed on, vomited on and bled on all in one day," she says.

I scrunch up my nose in disgust.

"This is why I work with plants. No bodily fluids involved," I say.

"You make a very valid point. But in a way being thrown up on made me feel like a real doctor. At least I'm helping make these people better now," she replies.

I nod my head.

"How are the other junior doctors? Are they finding it as tough as you?" I ask.

Madge pulls a face and I raise my eyebrow intrigued.

"There are two other junior doctors on my ward and they are both men. They think that just because they have a penis they are already better than me," she answers.

"Really?" I ask.

Madge nods her head.

"When I got thrown up on one actually laughed and then boasted he would have seen the signs and been able to move out the way quick enough. The other then made a mistake with paper work and blamed me so now my boss thinks I'm an incompetent idiot. He always asks one of the boys to help and observe him on the really interesting jobs," Madge says bitterly.

"They all sound like sexist arseholes," I say.

Madge takes another large gulp of wine.

"I always known it was going to be harder for me to progress than my male colleagues, particularly since I want to get into surgery which is dominated by alpha males. I may have graduated top of my year at Aberdeen but I'm going to have to work twice as hard as those lazy males to achieve what I want," she complains.

"It's not fair. It should be based on merit and not on what you have got between your legs," I say.

"I agree. But I'm not going to let them push me around or intimidate me. I can stand up for myself when I need to and am going to keep working hard to show that I am just as good as them," she replies.

"You're not just as good as them. I bet you'll be even better," I say.

Madge smiles gratefully at me and then relaxes more into the sofa.

"I've spent eighty hours in a hospital this week. I don't want to talk about it anymore. How come you are not out with Gale tonight?" she asks.

It's my turn to sigh as I sink back into the sofa cushions.

"We got into a fight last night and haven't spoken since," I reply.

Madge raises her eyebrow at me.

"Another one? What was this one about?" she asks.

"I swear it was an honest mistake. I hadn't noted down the date of his Mum's birthday dinner and then accidently booked to go and see a gig in Glasgow with Johanna on the same day. I've already paid for the train tickets and accommodation so we can stay the night and that's a lot of money to waste to cancel Johanna. Gale then accused me of booking the gig on purpose so I didn't have to come to his mum's birthday but I swear I didn't. I've even bought her a present for it but as usual Gale didn't want to listen to my point of view," I reply.

Madge shakes her head.

"I can see why Gale is a bit annoyed but I know you. You wouldn't have done that on purpose. We've all accidently double booked something. Gale shouldn't have accused you of doing it on purpose," she says.

"Gale is so hot headed though and I'm stubborn. Sometimes that makes for a bad combination," I add.

"Sometimes people just aren't a right fit for each other no matter how much they have in common. The fights seem to be getting more frequent, Katniss. You don't have to put up with it," Madge says.

I nod my head but go quiet. I don't want to think about that. Gale and I do fight a lot but when we don't it's so good. I've never had such intense feelings for someone and it's exciting. Gale is so spontaneous and when we're not fighting he'll randomly whisk me off on adventure exploring the Scottish Highlands or taking me to some secret underground gig. I like not knowing what will happen next.

Thankfully I'm saved from the conversation by Darius and Gloss coming through the door. Their voices are slightly more raised than usual and Gloss sounds a little bit annoyed. Madge raises her eyebrow at me.

"It looks like you're not the only one having relationship problems," she says.

I shake my head and know I shouldn't eavesdrop but can't help it any way. I tilt my head towards the door to the hallway to listen in.

"You're going to have to tell them sometime! We've been dating for a year now and I hate feeling like I'm your dirty little secret. Everyone else in your life knows! It's time for the rugby team to know too!" Gloss exclaims.

Darius sighs and tugs on his red hair as they make their way to the kitchen which is opposite to the living room.

"You just don't understand! There are basically no openly gay rugby players and you should hear some of the homophobic stuff some of them say. I know the guys. Some of them will refuse to shower with me once they find out," Darius replies.

Madge and I crane our necks round to peek into the kitchen and Darius slumps against a kitchen counter as Gloss paces around the room.

"I'm gay too! I know how hard it is to come out. I've been called faggot and spat on just for holding a guy's hand but those rugby guys are never going to change if you keep lying to them about it," Gloss says.

Darius shakes his head.

"Some of them aren't ever going to change. They are always going to be homophobic and just because they now know a gay guy isn't going to change that," he says.

"Then why do you play with them? How can you be around people like that?" Gloss asks.

"Because I love playing rugby. I love that feeling when I make that perfect big tackle. I love being out on that cold field, trying to out manoeuvre the other team. I love how when I am out on the pitch I have fourteen other guys watching my back," Darius replies.

"I understand that. I really do. But it can't keep going on like this. I love you and want you to move in with me but I can't while you are still lying to the rugby team. I won't have you pretending I'm just your flatmate to them," Gloss says.

Darius hangs his head.

"I can't tell them yet," he says.

There is a long pause where Gloss looks heartbroken.

"Then you need to seriously think if you still want to be with me because I don't want to be your secret anymore," he says.

Gloss then turns to leave, walking out the door without looking back. Once the front door has slammed closed, Madge and I jump off the sofa and hurry to the kitchen door. Darius' eyes shimmer with tears and his whole body seems to sag.

"I'm scared," he says, his voice wavering.

Madge and I share one look before we both enter the kitchen and wrap our arms around him. Darius hugs us tight as he begins to sob into our shoulders.

* * *

Gloss doesn't call for the rest of the weekend and Darius even pulls out of his rugby match on Saurday, stating he is too ill to play. He spends most of the weekend in his room underneath his duvet while a pile of empty irn bru bottles and crisp packets grows beside him.

On Sunday I decide I better talk to Gale before we go to work on Monday. We may fight but we are very good at keeping it professional at work and I think it's better to make up before we have to work side by side.

As usual, it doesn't take too long for us to make up. Once I explain again that it was an honest mistake and suggest I go round to his mum's on Sunday instead with a cake Peeta will help me bake, Gale forgives me and apologises for accusing me otherwise. After that it just takes a blow job and two orgasms for me before we have both forgotten about it completely.

It's a relief to go into work together the next morning and morning passes pretty quickly as we both focus on our respective projects. By lunch time I'm feeling pretty good about everything and suggest some plans for later in the week.

"Do you fancy heading to a comedy show at The Stand tomorrow night? Johanna knows someone who can get us cheap tickets," I say.

"Sorry. I can't. I'm busy," Gale replies.

He doesn't even look at me and just bites into his sandwich. I furrow my eyebrow not best pleased by his tone.

"Okay. What are you up to?" I ask.

"Does it really matter? I don't have to tell you everything I'm doing," he replies.

This time my eyebrows raise up in indignation.

"No. But I wasn't asking to keep tabs on you. I was asking because I'm interested," I say.

Gale shrugs his shoulder.

"Whatever you say but I don't see how you can get mad at me. You don't tell me everything that you are doing," he says.

"Is this still about the gig with Johanna? If it is then you are just being petty. I've already apologised for that," I say.

Gale puts down his sandwich and stares at me with fury.

"Don't you dare call me petty! You're the one creating a scene over nothing right now!" he exclaims.

My blood boils at his words.

"Don't try and turn this on me when you are the one being an arsehole!" I reply.

Neither of us our calm now and I've clenched my fists on top of the table. Gale flares his nostrils and tenses his jaw. There is nothing that can stop this argument from happening now.

But then I notice a couple of other people in the staffroom looking over at us. As soon as they catch me staring their eyes dart away and they suddenly become very interested in their plastic tubs of limp salad.

In that exact moment a big realisation comes over me and I start shaking my head. Gale gives me a stony stare but I slowly unclench my fists.

"We can't keep doing this, Gale," I say.

My words surprise him and he sits up straighter.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"We've always fought but we've always kept our arguments out of the lab. But now we can't even do that. Arguing at work makes it awkward for everyone," I reply.

Gale's shoulder slump as he starts picking at the corner of his sandwich.

"You're right. It's unprofessional," he says.

There is a long pause as I gain the courage to say my next words.

"We need to break up. We can't carry on like this," I say.

Gale only nods his head in sad resignation.

* * *

No one is home when I get back in from work so I grab a bar of chocolate and slump on the couch. The rest of the afternoon had been so awkward as Gale and I worked side by side but both of us did our best to not even look in each other's direction. I was so focused on trying to avoid his stare that I kept messing up the lab results. If I had a less understanding boss I would have been told off for all my mistakes.

I scroll through Netflix endlessly but I can't decide what I'm in the mood for and keep changing my mind once I get five minutes into a programme. Really all I want to do is crawl into my bed and wallow about the situation I've got myself into but Johanna already has one heartbroken flatmate to contend with, she doesn't need another one.

About an hour after I get in, the buzzer for the flat goes and I drag myself off the sofa to answer it. I don't even ask who it is before I buzz the person in and wearily open the door when they knock a few minutes later. But to my surprise Peeta is on the other side of the door.

Immediately I stand up a bit straighter and smooth the flyaway hairs on my head. He smiles at me before holding up a box for me to see.

"Johanna wanted to borrow my mixer so I thought I would drop it in after work," he says.

"Oh yeah. She wants to make some cakes for a charity art show she is doing. You can just come in and drop it off in the kitchen," I reply.

Peeta nods his head before following me inside. For some reason I am at a loss of what to say to him. After he told me he still had feelings for me on Valentine's Day, I've put a little distance between us. He hasn't mentioned it since but I've been careful to not be alone with him for long periods of time. I told myself that it was only fair to both him and Gale. I didn't want Gale to get jealous or to give Peeta hope while I was dating something else. But now I don't have a relationship with Gale any more and I realise that this means that I have no idea where I stand with Peeta.

I gesture to the kitchen table and Peeta puts the mixer box down on top of it. I struggle to look at him and hang my head as I fiddle with the end of my cuff.

"Thanks for bringing it over. Do you want a cup of tea?" I ask.

Peeta is silent for a moment as his eyebrows knit together in a frown and he looks at me worriedly.

"What's wrong, Katniss?" he asks.

I sigh as I pull my head back up to look at him properly. Of course he would notice something was up. He knows me better than anyone.

"Gale and I broke up today," I reply.

Peeta raises his eyebrows in mild surprise but then steps forward to place a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"That sucks, Katniss. I'm sorry," he says.

I quirk my eyebrow at him.

"Are you really sorry? You made it pretty clear that you didn't think it would last," I say.

Peeta puts both hands on top of my shoulders and looks me deeply in the eyes.

"I'm sorry that you are hurting now. I never like to see you in pain," he replies.

His words make me smile and a warmth spreads through my body. I realise that I always associate Peeta with safety and I pull him in by the waist to give him a tight hug.

"Thank you," I mumble into his shoulder.

I can feel Peeta's smile against the side of my head and we stay standing there, hugging each other until I feel all the stress of my break up with Gale slip away from me.

Eventually I pull back and Peeta reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind me ear.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

I shake my head, not really wanting to discuss Gale with Peeta.

"I don't think I'm really hurt by the break up. I'm just exhausted by it all. I can't believe I put up with those fights for so long," I reply.

Peeta nods his head.

"You deserve better," he says.

I smile at him gratefully and I didn't realise how much I missed being this close to him. His familiar smell of cinnamon and dill brings back a thousand good memories and we haven't made enough of those recently. I need to put that right.

Slowly we break away and I let out a more contented sigh.

"I can't stay for the tea. I'm having dinner with my brothers tonight but you know you can call me any time. I'll always make time for you," he says.

I nod my head.

"How about we do something Friday? I need a few days to process it all but I could do with some of your cooking to cheer me up by then," I reply.

Peeta chuckles.

"I should have known you would have requested food. How about you come to mine and I make us lamb stew?" he says.

"That's my favourite," I reply.

Peeta smiles at me.

"I know, Katniss," he says.

I smile back and there is a short moment of content silence. But eventually Peeta steps forward and gives my arm a squeeze.

"You'll be okay, Katniss," he says.

"I know," I reply with a smile.

Peeta gives my arm one last squeeze before he lets go and I show him the door. I watch him walk down the hallway feeling a hell of a lot better than when he first arrived.

* * *

Things don't get much better at work for the rest of the week. To avoid another argument in front of our colleagues Gale and I decide it's best that we just don't talk to each other at all. But even though I know it's best we ended things I can't help my body from reacting him. Occasionally we'll accidently bump into each other and every hair on my body stands on end as his touch causes my skin to tingle. My body just seems to run hot whenever he is a couple of meters away and while I don't really miss hanging out with him I certainly miss the mind blowing sex. My vibrator is used over time each night after work as I try to work off my sexual frustration.

Peeta is my refuge though and I call him every day and count down the days until the dinner at his house. Everything just seems so much easier when I'm talking to him and my stomach rumbles at the thought of the delicious stew he will make.

When I leave work on Friday Gale only acknowledges me with the tip of his head and I rush to get home. It doesn't take me long to get ready for Peeta's and the sweet smell of the stew hits my nostrils as soon as he opens the door.

"Oh my God! That smells amazing," I moan as I enter.

Peeta grins at me as he leads me through to the kitchen.

"You're going to love me even more. I made those salmon bilinis that you love so much as well," he says.

My stomach lets out a loud gurgle as my eyes land on the salmon treats on the table. I eagerly reach to grab one and stuff it in my mouth.

"You are definitely my favourite person," I say through mouthfuls of salmon.

Peeta raises his eyebrow at me.

"And you are as elegant as ever," he says.

I gently elbow him in the ribs but he chuckles as I then grab another one to put in my mouth.

"I brought wine. I went into a proper wine shop and asked them what went best with lamb stew. It even has a proper cork and everything," I say.

"Are you trying to impress me, Everdeen?" Peeta says.

"I don't need to impress you. I've held your hair back as you threw up in a public toilet. If anything you are the one that needs to impress me," I reply.

Peeta raises his eyebrows.

"I don't think you want to go down that road. Remember that time you have really bad diarrhoea and we woke up with your shit all over the bed?" he says.

"Okay, okay. You win. We've known each other too long. We've both seen each other embarrass ourselves enough times that trying to impress each other has gone out the window," I say.

Peeta nods his head satisfied and its amazing how quickly we slip back into our old ways. I've never had to second guess how to act around him and Gale seems a distant memory now that I am with Peeta.

Peeta then picks the spoon out of the stew pot and walks over to me. He brings the spoon up to my lips and gestures for me to taste.

"You always have taster privileges. Do you think it needs more paprika?" he asks.

I eagerly lean forward and Peeta watches me carefully as my lips pucker to slurp some of the sauce off the spoon. I hold his eye contact as I swallow the slightly spicy sauce and then run my tongue over my lips to lick up the remaining sauce.

"It's perfect," I reply.

Peeta grins at me and I'm not sure how long we stare at each other before he turns back to attend the stew.

* * *

As expected, the dinner is delicious and Peeta does actually end up being impressed with my wine choice. He takes us ages to get through the meal though because we spend so much time talking. Half way through my cheeks start to hurt from smiling and laughing so much and I realise that I never had this much fun with Gale.

Peeta and I end up getting into a soap bubble fight while we wash up and by the time we eventually collapse onto the sofa we're both very full and a little bit damp.

We sit at opposite ends of the sofa, me with my back leaning against the sofa arm and my legs stretched out so my toes gently brush the side of Peeta's thighs. He slings an arm over the back of the sofa and turns to me with a smile.

"I've missed you," I admit.

"You see me nearly every week," he replies.

I shake my head as I sit up, pulling me knees up and resting my chin on top of them.

"It wasn't the same. I put distance between us so Gale wouldn't get jealous," I say.

Peeta shrugs his shoulder.

"You have to accept you see your friends less when they are in a relationship. We couldn't have carried on acting the way we were while you were with Gale," he says.

I nod my head. I then reach out to tangle my fingers with his lying on the back of the sofa.

"I'm surprised by how little it hurts since we broke up. I mean work is awkward but it's not painful to see him," I say.

"That's a good thing then," Peeta says, gently squeezing my fingers.

"I think you were right that Gale and I were never going to work. We're too similar. We're both too fiery and stubborn," I add.

Peeta nods his head.

"Probably. Compromise is an important part of a relationship," he says.

I nod.

"Passion is important but you need something more. Like a best friend who can make your toes curl," I reply.

Peeta stills and he looks at me cautiously. My heart has started to pound as familiar feelings of attraction arise within me. I didn't consciously come round her to start something with Peeta but deep down I must have known this is what I wanted when I invited myself round tonight.

Because I've never been able to let him go. Even after Valentine's Day when I should have put acres of space between us I still had to see him, even if it was in a group situation. I can't imagine ever not seeing him. And his whole endgame theory suddenly makes perfect sense to me. Tonight has just reminded me how I am always going to love him.

Gale was only ever a distraction. I never loved him. I stayed with him for so long because the sex was so good. But my feelings for Peeta never went away. They were just momentarily locked away.

Without over thinking it, I lean forward and kiss him. Our hands stayed joined on top of the sofa and Peeta squeezes my hand tight. I reach up to hold his cheek in my other hand and Peeta opens his mouth for me. Our tongues tangle together and every nerve tingles inside of me. Things were passionate with Gale but there is something more with Peeta. There's an intimacy there that seems to heighten everything else.

I pull myself onto his lap and take his head in both my hands to kiss him deeply. Peeta's hands grip onto my waist and I instinctively grind down on him. The zipper of his jeans presses against my clit, making me moan in pleasure. But the sound seems to snap something in Peeta and instead of responding he pulls back and shifts me back on his lap.

"This is too fast, Katniss. You broke up with Gale less than a week ago," he says a little breathlessly.

I sigh as I slide off his lap and puff a strand of hair out of my face.

"I should have seen that coming. I said the same thing when you broke up with Cashmere," I say.

To my surprise Peeta smiles.

"At least we're consistent. It never seems to take us long to reconnect after we have broken up with an ex," he says.

I laugh and lean my head back against the sofa.

"Our relationship is so fucked up at times. Do you think anyone else has as a complicated relationship?" I ask.

Peeta grins as he picks up my hand.

"Probably not. But it's our messy relationship and I love it," he says, placing a kiss on the back of my hand.

I smile as I pick my head off the sofa and look at him.

"I want to be with you. I am not going to lie about that," I say.

Now I've said the words out loud I realise just how much truth there is in them. Since I've broken up with Gale, Peeta is the only person I've wanted to talk to. Going to work with Gale was made easier as I counted down the days until I would see Peeta again. And kissing him now shows me that what I have with Gale is nothing to what I have with Peeta.

"If we get back together then that's it, Katniss. We're in it for the long run. There is no one else for me," he says.

I smile sweetly back at him.

"I know," I say.

I then lean forward again to place a soft kiss on his lips. But of course that doesn't satisfy either of us and it doesn't take long for the kiss to deepen.

Peeta is the one to pull back again and he shakes his head.

"How can I know you are completely over Gale?" he asks.

"Because I was never in love with him. It was all heat and passion. It may sound harsh but there wasn't a lot to get over," I reply.

Peeta sighs in relief and gives my hand a squeeze.

"I'm not sleeping with you tonight. I want to start things again properly. That means taking you out and wining and dining you with big romantic gestures," he says.

I smile as I caress the side of his face.

"You're such a sap at times, Peeta Mellark," I say affectionately.

He smiles back at me before placing a kiss on the inside of my wrist.

I sigh in content and run my fingers down his cheek and along his neck until my fingers play with the curls at the base of his neck. Peeta sighs too as he leans his forehead against mine and his hand runs up my side.

"Maybe we could do some other things. It's too hard to have you this close and not touch you," he says.

I smirk as my hand slips from his neck to trail down until it rests above his heart.

"I love when you are little bit naughty," I reply.

That is the only invitation Peeta needs to attach his lips to mine and push me back against the sofa. Our hands roam all over each other's bodies, slipping underneath clothes and squeezing sensitive areas. I'm not even totally aware of clothing being removed from either of our bodies, my mind too focused on his lips against my skin and his touch stoking a fire inside of me. But suddenly we are both naked with only our underwear separating us.

Peeta kisses a trail down my body and my legs fall open, ready for him. His tongue sweeps over my nipples and twirls in my belly button before he peppers softs kisses at the top of my thighs. His lips get nearer and nearer to my centre and I can already feel myself dripping through my underwear. Peeta places one firm kiss on my cloth cover centre before sliding the garment down my body and hooking my legs over his shoulders. He licks his lips at the sight of my sopping centre.

"I've missed doing this," he says, his hands running up and down my thighs.

My chest is heaving with anticipation and I squirm on the sofa.

"Just hurry up and go down on me," I say.

Peeta chuckles at my impatience but doesn't make me wait much longer.

"Whatever you demand," he replies.

He then plunges onto my dripping pussy and starts lapping up all my juices. His tongue swirls inside of me and one of my hands grips tightly on top of the sofa as my hips start undulating with his tongue movements. He eats me out with a ferocity that I don't remember from before and the pleasure shooting through my body is intense. When his lips move up to suddenly suck sharply on my clit I let out a loud yelp and lock my ankles around his back. But he doesn't let up, nipping and sucking and licking in just the way he knows I like. I'm a writhing and dizzy mess underneath him and my coil inside of my belly winds tighter and tighter. My walls start to constrict and I know it will only take a moment longer before I snap. With one last sharp suck of my clit my walls explode and shivers go up my whole body. But Peeta still doesn't let go, licking me through my orgasm until I can't take any more. When he eventually pulls his head from between my thighs he looks way too smug with himself.

"I don't know why you are grinning," I say, "because I'm about to give your cock the exact same treatment."

I somehow manage to pull my still shaking body up to plant a sloppy kiss on his mouth, pushing him back to give him the best God damn blow job of his life.

* * *

We both wake with smiles on our faces the next day and spend the morning lazing about, swapping silly stories and snuggling together to watch something funny on Netflix. But our little bubble is interrupted by a message from Gale.

"He wants to meet me," I say as I sit up on the bed.

"Does he say why?" Peeta asks.

"He says he wants to sort things out so things aren't awkward at work," I reply.

Peeta nods but hangs his head a little despondently.

"Hey," I say grabbing his chin so he looks at me. "You have nothing to worry about. I want to be with you. But Gale's right. We can't carry on working with things as they are."

"I guess you're right. I want you to be comfortable at work," he says.

"I'll probably be only half an hour. How about you tidy up from last night and then come to mine. We could go to that new bar down the road. The one with the live music," I suggest.

Peeta smiles.

"You've got yourself a date," he replies.

I smile before leaning in for a kiss and then getting up to get ready to deal with Gale once and for all.

* * *

I take a deep breath as I knock on Gale's door and he opens almost immediately looking very handsome in a tight black shirt, ripped jeans and hunting boots. As he steps aside to let me in I catch a whiff of my favourite aftershave of his.

"Thanks for coming," he says. "Do you fancy a beer?"

"I don't plan on staying long. I just want to get this sorted," I say.

Gale looks a little disappointed but then puffs his chest and comes towards me. He stops only inches away from me and my body tenses a little at his close proximity.

"I want to sort this too. This is stupid, Katniss. I hate how things are at work and I miss you. There were so many good things about our relationship," he says.

My head is screaming at me that it was only the sex that was good and that I liked his spontaneity. But there wasn't much else good about us. But before I can say any of this, Gale reaches out to brush a strand of hair off my face and I curse my body for its natural reaction. Goosebumps rise up on my arms and my heart starts to beat faster.

"No, Gale," I say snapping to my senses and stepping back. "We weren't good. We fought all the time and used sex as a way to solve arguments."

"That's not true. We have so much in common, Katniss. Our arguments were always petty. We can solve that," he says.

"I don't want to solve it, Gale. I don't think I was ever even in love with you," I reply.

"You can be. I know you can. Because I know I love you," he says.

He's walked towards me again and his aftershave is filling so many of my senses. It reminds me off all the times we lost ourselves in each other and it was the only thing I could smell. I force myself to think of Peeta, of his smell and his touch but it's hard with Gale this close. The physical part was never a problem in our relationship and it seems that the physical attraction hasn't completely disappeared.

"I was with Peeta last night," I blurt out in an effort to dissuade Gale.

He does a look a little hurt by this but he pulls himself together and steps even closer to me. My back bumps against the wall and Gale rests a hand by my head as he looks at me. His hand reaches up to caress my cheek again and I can't deny that it feels good. How can it be possible to enjoy the touch of two different men?

"Did you sleep with him?" Gale asks.

"Not exactly," I say.

Gale smiles and his hand slips down to rest on my neck. His thumb strokes up and down causing a shiver to go through my body.

"Then we can still work through this. I see how your body reacts to me, Katniss. I know we can make this work," he says.

I still don't want to make things work with him. I know I should duck under his arm and dash out the door. I know I should run to Peeta and tell him how much I love him but coherent thought has suddenly gone out the window. Gale's touch is becoming too distracting and instead of being repulsed my body is begging for more.

It doesn't make sense to me. I don't love Gale and my body was reacting in a similar way to Peeta only last night but Gale is surrounding me and the memory of a hundred orgasms is drawing me in.

Gale is giving me that lazy, cocky smile that I hate yet turns me on so much. The thumb against my neck feels so good and his lips begin to look so appetising. I feel like a moth to a flame even though I know it is so wrong.

"You know you want this, Katniss," he says.

And with that the last of my resolve snaps. My body takes control of my actions and I push on my toes and kiss him passionately. Gale smiles into the kiss as he pushes me back against the wall. Our cores smash together and we both groan in satisfaction.

But before anything goes forward my phone starts to ring and I'm brought abruptly to my senses. I immediately release my lips from Gale's and push him away. I place a hand on my head and fumble to pull out my phone. My heart sinks when I see Peeta's name on the caller ID.

What have I done?

* * *

**A/N: These two just keep making things more complicated but I promise they are close to pulling everything together!**


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12 _

_23 years old_

I clutch my hand tighter to my head as I watch Peeta's name flash on my phone screen. I don't know how to answer it and let the phone ring out as the consequences of my actions come crashing to the fore.

"What the hell have I done? I've fucked everything up," I say.

I tug on my hair and start shaking me head but Gale suddenly steps into my eyeline. I snap my eyes up to look at him and immediately put my hand up to stop him coming any closer.

"No. Don't. Don't you dare try to touch me," I say.

Gale furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"You didn't seem to mind a minute ago. You were all over me," he replies.

I shake my head furiously.

"I shouldn't have kissed you. I don't want to be with you, Gale," I say. "Fuck. Why do I let my bloody hormones control me when I'm around you? Why am I so weak?"

Gale tries to take another step closer to me but I step away from him and he stops in his tracks.

"Doesn't that prove we've got something? It's so clear that we're physically attracted to each other," Gale says.

"That's called lust, Gale. I don't love you," I reply. "I love Peeta."

Gale smirks at me.

"You wouldn't have kissed me if you loved him," he says.

My blood starts to boil at his words and I take a forceful step towards him.

"I do love him. And I want to be with him. And this will be my last moment of weakness. I'm done with you, Gale. And I just hope that Peeta can forgive me for what I did," I say.

Gale opens up his mouth to say something but I don't want to hear it. I made a mistake by coming here. I made a mistake letting Gale get too close to me when I arrived. I certainly should have not kissed him. But it has helped clarify things for me because all I can think about now is how I might lose Peeta over this.

"Goodbye, Gale. I will be civil to you at work but we have no relationship anymore," I say.

And with that I walk out the door without looking back.

* * *

I fret about how I'm going to tell Peeta the whole journey back to my flat. I didn't return his call as I need to sort out exactly what I am going to say to him. But my mind can only really focus on how hurt he'll look when I tell him.

I had told him to meet me at the flat after I had dealt with Gale but I'm not sure if he'll have arrived by the time I get in. I peek cautiously round the door as I enter and I hear the sound of the TV in the living room. I walk slowly to the living room door and I don't know whether I feel anxious or relieved to see Peeta sitting there, laughing at a rerun of a popular comedy show. As soon as he hears me, he switches off the TV and turns to me with a big smile. He then gets up off the sofa and reaches out to brush some hair out of my face.

"Hi. Darius let me in. How did things go with Gale?" he asks.

My heart goes into overdrive at the thought of telling him what I did but I can't lie to him. We've never lied to each other before and if this is really it for us then we can't start again on a lie.

I'm quiet for a long time as I try to find the right words and Peeta immediately senses that something is wrong. He cups my cheek and gives me a look full of concern.

"What happened, Katniss?" he asks and I can hear the hint of fear in his voice.

I take a deep breath as I look in his eye as I tell him.

"I kissed him. I know I shouldn't have and I don't want to be with him but I did. I'm so sorry. I know I've fucked up," I say.

The pain is instant in Peeta's eyes and his hands drops from my face like it is a hot coal. He steps as far away as possible from me until the back of his legs hit the sofa. Confusion and hurt all swim through his eyes and I hate that I've put them there.

"I don't understand. You told me that you wanted to be with me. You told me that I had nothing to worry about," he eventually says.

"I know I did. And it's still true…" I reply.

"But you kissed him, Katniss!" Peeta exclaims. "I need to worry about that!"

Pin pricks of tears appear at the corners of my eyes as I struggle to explain it to him. I don't have a good enough reason for why I did it and I can totally see why it doesn't make sense to him.

"You really don't have anything to worry about. I stopped the kiss as soon as I thought of you," I say.

"And how long did that take, Katniss?" Peeta interrupts me. "How long did you kiss him before you remembered that you loved me?"

"I know this is bad. I know I should have never let it happen," I say.

"Then why did you? Why did you kiss him? You had been kissing me not even an hour before!" Peeta says.

"I don't really know. There has never been any love between me and Gale. It's always just been lust. My body has just always had this strong physical attraction towards him and I've struggled to control myself when he's close," I say.

Peeta shakes his head at me.

"That doesn't make me feel any better. You've just admitted that you can't control yourself around him. You work with him, Katniss. How long will it be before you lose control around him again and kiss him again?" he asks.

I step fowards and reach my hands out to put them on his arms but he flinches as my finger tips brush against his skin and the hurt this reaction causes cuts deeper than I thought it could.

"It won't happen again. The kiss made me realise how stupid I've been and I don't want to repeat it. I don't want to hurt you again," I say.

Peeta lets out a loud sigh and hangs his head. I wait anxiously for him to answer me and I begin to feel nauseous at the thought he might not be able to forgive me.

Eventually he pulls his head back up to look at me and he looks the saddest I have seen him since his dad died.

"I knew us starting things again was too soon but I let my heart over rule my head," he says. "I need time to process this."

I nod my head, a tiny bit relieved he's not ruled anything out. He then takes another deep breath and my heart starts beating anxiously again.

"I was so happy this morning, Katniss but now you've hurt me in a way I never thought you could," he says.

I can only hand my head, resigned. I've always prided myself on being able to make Peeta happy but I've done the complete opposite of that today.

"I really am sorry. I should have never have done it. I love you," I say.

Peeta gives me a short nod before walking past me and out the door. Once I hear the click of the door shutting I let the first tear to fall down my cheek.

* * *

Shortly after Peeta leaves, Darius' door creaks open and he pads through to the living room. He finds me lying on the sofa in silence and looking up at the ceiling with watery eyes.

"Hey. I thought I heard raised voices. Is everything alright with you and Peeta?" he asks.

I shake my head as more tears slip down my cheek.

"I really fucked up, Darius. I really hurt him," I say.

Darius sighs and then takes a seat beside me.

"I know all about hurting people I love," he says.

We share a sad look and then I spill everything that happened between Peeta and I from last night until my stupid kiss with Gale this morning. Darius is quiet throughout most of it, nodding and looking sympathetic in all the right places.

"You did a shitty thing but you realised it straight away and apologised for it. Peeta will forgive you when everything has calmed down. He has too. You guys have more ups and downs than a roller coaster," he says.

"But what if he doesn't?" I ask.

"Then you join me in the lonely losers club," he says hanging his head.

I reach out to reassuringly touch his arm.

"Has Gloss still not answered your calls?" I ask.

Darius shakes his head.

"I haven't spoken to him in a week. This is why I never fell in love before. It hurts too much," he says.

I give his arm a little squeeze.

"You know how you can fix it though. You just need to tell the rugby team the truth," I say.

Darius sighs.

"I don't want the guys on the team to look at me differently. And they will as soon as they find out I'm gay. And what if they get so awkward about it that I'm gently fazed out the team?" he replies.

"Darius, look at me," I say.

Reluctantly Darius pulls his head up to look me in the eye.

"What is worse? Losing Gloss or losing some homophobic rugby teammates?" I ask.

He is silent for just a moment but I can see the exact moment when he realises how stupid he's been. Slowly he sits up straighter and lets his shoulders relax.

"When you put it like that it's easy. I don't want to lose Gloss," he replies.

I give him a small smile.

"Then you know exactly what to do. And the sooner the better," I say.

Darius smiles at me.

"I should do it today. We've got a game this afternoon against a team we should easily beat. I can tell them after the game," he says.

I nod my head in encouragement.

"And I'll invite Gloss to the match. He still hasn't seen me play. I'll introduce him as my boyfriend," he says.

Darius' confidence grows with every word that comes out of his mouth and the excitement over the prospect of winning Gloss back seems to outweigh any nervousness he feels about coming out to the rugby team.

He gets up off the sofa with more purpose than I have seen him all week and I can't help grin. He heads towards the door but stops just before exiting the room and turns back to face me.

"Will you come with me? I think I'll need the moral support and I might also need some help convincing Gloss to come to the game," he says.

"Of course. I want you guys to be happy," I say.

Darius smiles at me gratefully before bending down for a hug and then ducking out the room to call Gloss.

I really hope this is enough for Gloss. Darius is crazy about him and it's about time Darius truly and openly accepts his homosexuality to everyone.

* * *

Unsurprisingly Gloss doesn't pick up when Darius calls but he leaves a message inviting him to the game and I then message Gloss to tell him Darius wants to introduce him to the rugby team as his boyfriend. Gloss doesn't respond immediately but just before Darius heads out for the pre-match warm up he gets a message from Gloss saying that he'll come. Darius can't help the smile that spreads across his face once he's read it.

Helping Darius with Gloss has the added bonus in that it distracts me from worrying about what Peeta is thinking. I send him a few messages reiterating how sorry I am and reassuring him that I love him but I realise I need to be patient and let him come to terms with it in his own time.

I head with Darius to his rugby match, even though he has to be there an hour and a half before kick-off, and then play about on my phone while keeping half an eye out for Gloss to arrive. Darius is clearly nervous about whether Gloss will actually show up as he keeps glancing towards the turnstiles as he warms up with his team. He gets so distracted that he keeps dropping balls as they practise and his coach and teammates start to lay into him.

"Eyes on the ball, Red! A supermodel isn't about to walk through the gate offering to suck your dick," the captain of the team yells.

"Sorry, mate. Just thinking about the beers after the match," he replies.

"Remember, man of the match gets a crate of beer after the game. You're not going to get that crate if you keep dropping the fucking ball," the captain says.

Darius puts on a grin but I can tell that it takes all his will power to not look over at the gate as often.

However, Gloss arrives ten minutes before kick off and just before the teams head into the changing rooms for their final pre-match pep talk. His eyes scan the rugby pitch until they land on Darius and the relief is palpable on Darius' face when their eyes meet. He gives Gloss a slightly shy smile and Gloss returns it with a brief nod of the head. Then one of Darius' teammates jogs up behind him, slapping him on the shoulder and he says something that makes Darius laugh. Darius drops his gaze from Gloss and continues to laugh with his teammate as they head into the changing room.

Gloss' eyes follow him in but Darius doesn't look back. I manage to catch Gloss' eye and give him a bright smile before walking towards him.

"I'm so glad you came," I say.

Gloss shrugs his shoulder, still looking in the direction of the changing rooms.

"Even after I sent the text that I would, I wasn't sure if I would actually come. I'm still not convinced he's going to do it. He barely acknowledged me when I arrived," Gloss replies.

"The game is about to start. All their heads will be full of tackling and tactics. It's not the time for big revelations," I say.

Gloss sighs and nods his head.

"I suppose you're right. It's just been a tough week," he says.

I put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's been a tough week for Darius too. He's really missed you," I say.

"I've missed him but I've been with a guy who's in the closet before and I can't put my heart through that again," he says.

I give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"It's taken Darius a long time to come to terms with his sexuality but he's finally at a point that he is more scared of losing you than telling the rugby team," I reply.

Gloss gives me a small smile and then a man on a microphone announces the opposition team just before they run out onto the field and not long after Darius and the rest of his team also emerge from the tunnel. I clap and whoop as Darius gets into position while Gloss politely claps them on. As the whistle goes I turn to Gloss with a smile.

"Let's grab a seat. I'm sure Darius will want to speak with you straight after the game," I say.

Gloss nods his head and then we turn to find some seats that are near the halfway line.

Darius was right about this game being easy for his team. His team score six tries in total while the opposition can only manage two consolation tries near the end and when Darius' team have taken their foot off the gas.

I'm not sure if it's because he knows Gloss is watching but Darius plays one of the best matches I have ever seen him play. He has as much energy as the Durcell Bunny, putting in massive tackles and running great support lines. He even scores the third try.

Gloss gets more animated as the game goes on and his eyes follow Darius around the pitch. When the final whistle blows, Darius has a big grin on his face and turns to find us in the crowd. His hair is a complete mess, he has mud smeared down one cheek and he gives Gloss a cheeky wink when he catches hold of his eye.

"Damn it. He always looks so hot after he's been roughed up a bit," Gloss says.

I laugh before gently tugging on Gloss' arm.

"Come on. Let's go and see him," I say.

Gloss agrees and we make our way down the steps just as Darius' team clap the opposition off the pitch. There are a gaggle of family members and blonde girlfriends all waiting by the side of the pitch to congratulate their loved ones and many of the rugby players greet them with big embraces and kisses as they walk off. Darius latches onto Gloss' stare quickly and doesn't stop smiling at him as he approaches. Eventually he stops just in front of us, his gum shield tucked behind his ear and an excited look in his eye.

"Thank you for coming. I'm so glad you came," he says.

"You played well. I can't believe they didn't give you man of the match," Gloss replies.

Darius shrugs his shoulder.

"I don't care. Besides, I've got something more important to do," he says.

He then reaches for Gloss' hand and turns to face the other teammates that are still standing and chatting to their friends and family.

"Hey, lads! Can you all come around for a moment?" he calls.

Some of them look a bit perplexed as they are interrupted from their own conversations but they all turn and gather around Darius. The captain spots that Darius is holding onto Gloss' hand and scoffs.

"Red, you look like a right fag holding onto to this dude's hand," he says.

Darius takes a deep breath as he grips onto Gloss' hand tighter.

"That's because I am, Brutus. Though I don't like being called that word. You can call me gay if you want to comment on my sexuality. Though poof and homo also join fag on the list of unacceptable names," he says.

One of the other guys in the team laughs.

"Good one, Red but you can stop joking around. We all know that you're not really gay," he says.

"Yes, I am. And this is my boyfriend Gloss. I hope he still wants to move in with me," Darius says.

He turns to look at Gloss with a tender smile and Gloss smiles back as he presses his forehead against Darius'.

"Of course I still want to move in with you. I love you," he replies.

Darius grins wider but the rest of the rugby team look at them with wide eyed shock. After several moments of silence, Brutus shakes his head and knits his eyebrows together.

"I don't believe this. No wonder you are always so happy in the shower. You get to check out our dicks and decide which one you would best like shoved up you arse!" he says.

"I don't think that. And you are all the ones that stand about checking out dicks and deciding who's is the best," Darius replies.

"That's just banter! We're not gay! And I won't be getting in a shower with you again," Brutus exclaims.

Hurt floods Darius' eyes but Gloss squeezes onto his hand to steady him.

"Come on, lads. We better hit the showers before this one comes in and tries to make move on one of us," Brutus says.

The rest of the team hesitate and Darius looks at them with pleading eyes. Brutus is completely out of line but there are so few openly gay rugby players that the rest of the team don't know how to react. Slowly the rest of the team follow their captain inside.

Darius hangs his head dejectedly and Gloss pulls him in for a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry. That was horrible," Gloss says.

Darius shrugs.

"It's not like we haven't heard any of that before. There are more homophobic people than society would like to admit," he says.

Gloss nods his head and reaches up to caress the side of Darius' face. Darius leans his forehead against his boyfriend and clutches onto his waist tightly.

"I'm just glad I have you. I would have never been able to do that without you," he says. "I love you so much."

Gloss smiles.

"I love you too. And I'm proud of what you did today," he says.

Darius leans in for a kiss and I watch on happily as no one looking could doubt their love for each other.

* * *

We don't see much of Darius the next few days but this time it's because he's too busy having mind-blowing make up sex and all of us are just happy he managed to sort things with Gloss.

I also don't hear from Peeta for four days. The longer he goes without messaging me the more my anxiety grows. There are so many moments that I come close to caving and ringing him but I stop myself at the last moment. I have to keep reminding myself that he will call when he's ready.

I've never been very good at not talking to him so it's a mixture of relief and anxiety when he eventually messages to say that he is ready to talk again. I invite him round to ours when I know both Darius and Johanna will be out and then spend ages trying to make it look like I haven't put too much effort into my appearance for him coming over.

My heart thuds in my chest when I open the door to him and I try to give him a cheery smile but this is difficult with all the butterflies swirling around my stomach.

"Hey. Can I get you anything? Tea? Food? I think we have some cake left over," I ask.

Peeta shakes his head as he follows me into the kitchen and I stop to lean against the kitchen counter. I try to read his face for any signs of how he is feeling but so far he's keeping his features pretty neutral.

"No. It's okay. I'm meeting Thresh for dinner after this," he says.

My heart immediately sinks. He's not planning on staying long.

Peeta takes a deep breath and then looks me straight in my eye.

"I've pretty much only thought about you these last few days. It really hurt me that you kissed Gale," he says.

"I know. And I hate myself for hurting you. I wish I had never done it," I reply.

"But you did do it, Katniss," he says. "And what hurts so much is that the night before you told me I was who you wanted. You let me be intimate with you and then the next morning you kissed me goodbye and told me I had nothing to worry about. But you still kissed him."

"It was a mistake. I don't love him. I love you. You are the only person I want to be with," I say, trying not to let the desperation seep into my voice too much.

I don't like the look in Peeta's eyes. It's too sad and defeated. Surely he can't be giving up on us?

"The truth is that I believe you when you say that you love me. I can even forgive you for the kiss but over the last couple of days I've realised I don't trust you anymore. You made a commitment to me and then broke it less that an hour later. We can't have a relationship if there is no trust," he says.

"Let me prove to you that I can be trusted. I really am done with Gale. The last couple of days at work we've stayed away from each other and I haven't thought about him. I've only thought about you," I reply.

Peeta shakes his head.

"Trust isn't something you can fix quickly, Katniss. Staying away from Gale for a couple days isn't enough," he says.

"So what are you saying? That you don't want to be with me? That we need to stay friends?" I ask.

Peeta looks back at me with sombre eyes.

"I need space from you, Katniss. Our relationship has always been so complicated and I'm exhausted. We can't keep almost getting together and then having something happen that stops us. It's getting so repetitive and I don't think it's healthy. I think we need a clean break while we sort ourselves out," he replies.

My heart cracks straight down the middle. He can't be serious. We've always managed to sort things out. We've always managed to stay in each other's lives.

"And what if I don't want that? I always want you in my life," I say.

Peeta hangs his head dejectedly.

"I've always wanted you in my life too," he says. "But I've got emotional whiplash from all the back and forth we've been through these last couple of years. I need a break, Katniss, because otherwise I'm scared I'm going to end up resenting you for everything that has happened."

I realise in that moment that he's being serious. That he really does need a break from us. That all the hooking up and breaking up has taken its toll on him and I have to let him go for a little bit. I don't want to. I'm not sure how I can cope without him but I can't be selfish. He needs this right now and I will always do what he needs me to do.

"Okay," I say, hanging my head and trying to hold back the tears. "I'm going to miss you like crazy but okay."

Peeta pulls his head back up and gives me a sad but grateful smile before stepping in and wrapping his arms around me. I hold him tight and squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling. I just have to hope that this isn't the last time we ever do this.

* * *

**A/N: I hope that you all agree that Peeta and Katniss need this break. There relationship is not healthy at this moment and this break should give them both some prespective.**


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13_

_23 years old_

I carefully pick up a test tube and observe the growth of the plant inside before scribbling down my observations in my research notebook. Gale works silently on the opposite side of the room and then turns to speak to me.

"Do you have a spare scalpel I can use? I seem to have misplaced all of mine," he says.

"Yeah. You can have this one," I say.

I open a nearby drawer and pull out a shiny scalpel before taking a couple of steps to hand it to him. Gale smiles at me politely as he takes it off me.

"Thanks. I'll make sure I wash it before I give it back to you," he says.

"No worries. I'm in no rush for it back," I reply.

Gale nods his head and then turns back to his work. All our interactions these past few months have been like that. We've been polite and civil towards each other and we only talk about work. Some of the fun I had at work has now been lost as a result but I find that I don't miss his company. It was remarkably easy to get over him and my body has even stopped physically reacting whenever he is near. I no longer have that same need to jump him at every available opportunity.

The rest of the afternoon passes quietly as we both concentrate on our work but I'm pleased with the results I am getting and can't wait to share them with Beetee later. Just as I start tidying up my work for the day I become aware that Gale is watching me and I turn to him with a frown.

"Can I help you with anything? You're kind of creeping me out with your staring," I say.

Gale averts his eyes away quickly, clearly embarrassed, and then scratches at the back of his neck.

"Sorry. I wanted to tell you something before you left but wasn't sure the best way to bring it up," he says.

I raise my eyebrow in intrigue. The Gale I know has always been confident and it's strange to see him like this.

"Really? What did you want to tell me?" I ask.

Gale takes a deep breath and then a small smile appears on his face.

"Beetee is finally letting me to go to the Amazon to do my research. I leave next month," he says.

My eyes widen in surprise and a genuine smile spreads across my face.

"That's amazing, Gale! I know you have been wanting to go for years. I'm so happy for you," I reply.

And I am. I am genuinely happy for him. We may not even be friends anymore but as a fellow botanist I know what a big deal this is for him. He worked hard to get this opportunity and I'm not going to begrudge him that because our relationship ended messily.

"Thanks. I'm pretty excited. It's going to be one hell of an adventure," he says.

"I bet it will be. I'm almost a bit jealous of all the plants you will get to see," I reply.

Gale laughs.

"Only a botanist would say something like that," he says.

We share a smile and then there is a short moment of silence. Gale then looks me straight in the eye.

"I know things have been awkward between us these last few months but I did enjoy working with you before everything happened. Though you are probably glad that I'm leaving," he says.

There is a little bit of relief knowing that I won't have to come into such a formal and polite work setting anymore but I'm not going to celebrate him leaving.

"I never hated you, Gale. I made mistakes and I can't blame you for them," I say.

Gale smiles at me gratefully and I'm glad there is no more animosity between us.

"That's good to know, Katniss. I never hated you either," he says. "And now that I'm leaving maybe you'll finally be able to work things out with that Peeta guy."

"Maybe," I say forcing a smile.

But the truth is I have no idea if Peeta will ever be ready to talk to me again. It's been almost six months and he hasn't contacted me once. I've come to realise the space was good for us. I've been able to focus on other things that my relationship with him but that doesn't mean it makes it any easier not speaking to him.

"Congratulations, Gale. I know you will do great over there," I say, dragging my mind away from thoughts of Peeta.

Gale smiles at me again and there is an awkward moment when neither of us know if we should go in for a hug. Eventually though I stop second guessing myself and step towards him.

"Screw it. I'm giving you a hug," I say.

Gale grins wider and we step towards each other to embrace. I don't feel anything other than friendly vibes when I put my arms around him and I'm glad I can end this chapter of my life on good terms.

* * *

I go and see Beetee after my talk with Gale and he is equally delighted with the results I'm getting in the lab. This means I leave work in a really good and totally up for a night in the pub with my friends. Johanna is in when I get home and we briefly catch up over dinner before I grab a quick shower and pull on a pair of black jeans and leopard print blouse. Johanna and I then walk side by side as tells me about this extremely devote Christian that happened to wander into her exhibition of feminist art.

"She came up to me and said she always loved paintings of roses and asked me what was my inspiration for the single rose painting. I swear I thought she was having a seizure when I replied vaginas. She then turned pretty green as describe how I modelled the centre of the rose on my own vagina," she says.

I laugh just as the local pub comes into view.

"I don't know what she finds so offensive about vaginas. I mean she must have one of her own," I reply.

"That's exactly what I said to her," Johanna says with a slightly wicked grin.

I grin broadly and then push open the pub door once we have approached it. Both Johanna and I scan the bar for our other friends and Johanna is the first one to spot Madge, Thresh and Rue sitting in a booth in the corner. Rue smiles and waves at us as she catches our eyes and Johanna and I begin to weave our way through the series of tables to get to them.

It may have been six months but my heart still sinks when I don't see Peeta sitting with the rest of our friends. If there is a meet up he knows that I'm going to be there then he doesn't come. He still sees the rest of the guys but in smaller groups and he's spent more time hanging out with his brothers and some friends from his work. Though when the rest of us meet up like this I can't help but think it should have never come to this between Peeta and I.

I have a smile back on my face as soon as I sit down though and Johanna offers to buy the first round. Madge shifts up to make room for me and grins at me broadly.

"No night shifts this week then?" I ask.

"Nope. And I don't even have to work tomorrow. I might even do some shots tonight," she replies with a smile.

"That's a dangerous line of thought. The last time I did shots with you we drank a whole bottle of apple sours and my sick was luminous green the next day," Rue says.

"I remember. I then I got sick from just looking at it," Thresh adds.

Rue turns to her boyfriend with an apologetic smile and Thresh shakes her head at her before leaning in to kiss her temple.

"Well the last time I did shots was at my work's Christmas party and I ending up squirting lemon juice in my eye as I tried to do tequila," I say.

Madge laughs and shakes her head.

"When did we become so pathetic with shots? Remember in freshers week when we would do five different shots in one night and then get up the next day and do it all again?" she says.

"Yeah, but back then we were eighteen and didn't know any better. Our only hangover cure was to start drinking again. Now we're older and wiser and know the pain alcohol can bring," Thresh says with a cheeky smile.

We all laugh and then we catch sight of Darius and Gloss coming through the door. Gloss smiles when he sees us but Darius looks downbeat and walks towards us with his head hung low. They reach our table just as Johanna comes back with the first round of drinks and she slides a beer immediately over to Darius.

"You look like you need this more than I do," she says.

Darius accepts the beer gratefully but still keeps his head low. The rest of us frown with concern while Gloss slides his arm up Darius' back and begins rubbing soothing circles on it.

"He had a bad training session with the rugby team yesterday. I've not been able to get him out of his slump," Gloss replies.

Darius takes a long drink of his beer and then shakes his head once he has put the pint glass back down.

"It wasn't just bad. I accidently grasped Brutus' arse when we were practising rucking and he let out this totally over the top scream and then he started swearing at me, telling me that if I ever touched him like that again he would batter me until I couldn't run out onto a rugby pitch. It was so bad that the coach had to end training early," he says.

Johanna clenches her fists on top of the table and shakes her head fiercely.

"What a fucking pig. You should report that to the police. He threatened you just because you are gay!" she says.

"I have to play rugby with him. Getting the police involved isn't going to do any good," Darius says. "Besides it's the last game of the season tomorrow. Then I don't have to deal with him."

Gloss shakes his head as he places his hand on top of Darius'.

"You shouldn't have to put up with it. And I hate how low rugby is making you at the moment. You always come in so sad after training. Rugby used to make you happy but it isn't right now," he says.

Darius shrugs his shoulder.

"I still love playing the game. It's just the homophobic twats that make in harder. I could quit the team but I doubt any other club in Edinburgh would be any better," Darius says.

Gloss squeezes Darius' hand and then uses his finger to tip his head up.

"Leave this with me. I'll think of something," Gloss says.

Darius gives him a sad smile.

"I love you for even trying but I don't really see what you can do," he says.

Gloss leans over to kiss him.

"I do love you and that means I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you are happy," he says.

Darius still doesn't look convinced but he doesn't argue any further. He then turns to us and gives us a small smile.

"I'm glad I've got you guys. You've made everything so easy," he says.

"We were never going to judge you for who you loved. We love you no matter what and it's a disgrace that not everyone can view it like we do," I say.

Darius smiles gratefully at me and his shoulder relax a little bit as he leans back in the booth. There is a short silence as everyone sips on their drink and no one quite knows how to move the topic on. Eventually it's Madge that breaks the silence and she sits up straight with a big smile.

"So I've got some big news. I finally finished unpacking all the boxes in my new flat and I though the only way to celebrate is to have a big flat warming party," she says.

This news changes the mood dramatically and everyone leans in with excited smiles on their faces.

"Thank God! You've had the flat since Christmas. I've been waiting months for this!" Johanna exclaims.

Madge grins as she shrugs her shoulder.

"You know I'm a perfectionist. I wasn't going to host a party without my flat being fit for public inspection," she says.

"The word public inspection takes all the fun out of having a party," I reply.

Madge laughs and shakes her head.

"I promise it's going to be good. I have fifteen bottles of prosecco and champagne that people gave me when I first got the keys and Dad says he is happy to provide more for the party," she says.

Johanna rolls her eyes.

"I forget how spoiled you are sometimes," she says.

Madge ignores Johanna's comment as she gives us more details about the party.

"I was thinking of having it in two weeks time and I'll provide all the food and drink," she says.

"You don't need to say anymore. I'm in!" Thresh says with a grin.

Madge grins back.

"Great. I want everyone I care about to be there," she says.

"Of course we'll be there. We would be there even if you didn't have food and alcohol," I say.

"Speak for yourself," Johanna replies.

We share a grin but then Madge's smile drops and she looks at me seriously.

"I'm serious about wanting everyone I care about there," she says. I nod my head but am bit confused why she is looking at me like that. "I want Peeta there too."

I go quiet for a moment as I let this bit of information sink in.

"Well you'll have to check with him. I'd like to see him again but I have no idea where his head is at the moment," I say.

Madge looks at me sympathetically.

"He misses you too. Just because he hasn't spoken to you doesn't mean that he doesn't miss you," she says.

"I know. And it's still hard," I say.

Madge lets out a sigh as she nods her head but then she gets distracted by Darius who has now perked up and wants to be in charge of the music at her party. I zone out of all the conversations as I let the prospect of seeing Peeta again sink in. I have no idea if he'll agree to come to Madge's flat warming but I can't deny that a flutter of excitement appears in my stomach at the thought.

* * *

I try not to dwell too much on the thought of seeing Peeta again but once Madge confirms that he is coming it is hard not to. More than anything I have missed my friend and I just want him back in my life. But I can't help but wonder if he will have changed at all. Are his curls still floppy enough that they fall into his eyes? Is _Better Call Saul_ still his favourite TV programme? What new recipes has he invented? Will we still be able to speak to each other in the same way?

I'm a mixture of excitement and anxiety on the day of the flat warming and I begin to think maybe Peeta and I should have talked before tonight. What if things are awkward between us and that ruins Madge's party? How do we even start a conversation when we haven't spoken in six months?

I become silent the closer we get to Madge's and I clutch the plant I bought her closely to my chest. Johanna jabbers on beside me about her most recent Tinder experiences but I can't really focus on anything she says. My mind can only concentrate on what I might say to Peeta.

And then before I'm even a hundred per cent ready to see him he appears around the corner, carrying a massive Tupperware box and with a bright smile on his face. My heart skips a beat at the sight of him and my eyes scan over his whole body as I savour the feeling of seeing him again. He has barely changed in our time apart, though his arms look more defined than usual and his hair has been cut shorter. But his smile and the light in his eyes is still the exact same.

We all come to a stop at Madge's door and Peeta locks his eyes onto mine and quirks one of his eyebrows up.

"Are you really giving Madge a pot plant? You know she is hopeless at keeping plants alive. She was the only one in our class who managed to kill her cress plant in primary school," he says.

I chuckle at the memory.

"And you felt so bad for her that you gave her yours to take home," I reply.

Peeta grins.

"What can I say? I'm just a kind and generous human being," he says.

I smile and shake my head.

"You're right about Madge though. It amazes me she can keep people alive when she has killed every plant she has ever been given," I say.

"That's why I went for cupcakes. She can't mess them up," Peeta says.

"No. But we all know Katniss can. She'll steal them all for herself," Johanna says with a wicked smile.

I gently elbow her in the ribs but my stomach rumbles at the thought of Peeta's cakes. It's been too long since I've had any. I'll probably end up stuffing them in my mouth and get crumbs all over Madge's new carpets.

"Don't worry, Katniss. Your love of food is one of the reasons we're friends," Peeta says.

My heart flutters when I hear him say the word friends. He doesn't seem to be mad at me any longer and he's treating me exactly like he used to. There is no awkwardness and a stranger would never have guessed we haven't spoken in six months.

Johanna tips her head towards the door.

"As much fun as it is to take the piss out of Katniss there is drink on the other side of this door," she says.

Peeta nods his head as he shifts the Tupperware box under his arm.

"Yeah. We should probably head inside. Madge sent me a picture of the space she has left for my cupcakes. She'll be freaking out that her buffet is not complete," he says.

I laugh and Peeta turns to catch my eye with a grin. Johanna leads us in and Peeta and I fall in step beside each other. He smiles at me as he lifts up the box filled with cupcakes.

"Don't worry. I made extra just for you," he says with a wink.

I laugh again and then he turns to catch up with Johanna but part of me feels uneasy about how easy the conversation has been so far. Is he really going to just pretend that the last six months didn't happen? But I push that thought away as Madge opens the door and opens her arms wide to embrace us all.

"You made it! I'm so happy to have everyone here!" she exclaims.

She then spies the Tupperware box tucked under Peeta's arm.

"You finally arrived with the cupcakes! I've not let anyone touch the food until the buffet was complete," she says.

"Sorry I couldn't get here earlier. I had a little piping bag disaster. Let's just say I somehow managed to get icing on the ceiling," Peeta replies.

Madge rolls her eyes and then grabs his hand to lead him through to the kitchen. Johanna spies Thresh and Rue in the living room so we head over to them.

"Thank God more people have started to arrive. We arrived first and Madge made us fold paper napkins into swans," Thresh says.

"Babe, you didn't make swans. Your got frustrated doing the first one and ended up rolling them all into sausages," Rue replies.

"Everyone is just going to unfold them anyway. I've just made it easier for the guests," Thresh says.

I laugh and the sound of Peeta's laughter floats through from the kitchen. Rue looks in that direction before turning back to me.

"I saw that you and Peeta arrived together. Does this mean you have finally made up?" she asks.

"We bumped into him outside. He said we were friends," I say.

I want to be happy about this fact but I don't like the fact Peeta seems to be ignoring how things were the last time we talked. It still doesn't feel like we've resolved anything.

"They acted like the typical Katniss and Peeta outside," Johanna adds. "And all I can say is thank fucking God! It's been like having divorced parents these last few months."

I lower my eyes as I feel guilty about the position Peeta and I put them in. They were all good in that none of them chose sides and it can't have been easy arranging plans when only one of us could be there.

Rue smiles at me.

"Good. I really hope you guys have worked everything out. I've missed hanging out with all of us," she says.

I then give her a small smile but don't want to burden them with my worries about Peeta ignoring what happened. And thankfully the doorbell goes again meaning the conversation moves on. Madge leaves the kitchen to answer it and then Peeta comes through holding three beers. He passes one to Johanna before turning to me.

"I assume you still prefer beer to prosecco?" he asks.

"Of course. I'm not that classy," I reply.

Peeta grins at me as I take the beer off him and then take a long slurp. Thresh then turns to look at Peeta.

"Mate, since your cupcakes finally made it, does that mean the buffet is finally open? I've been eying up those haggis balls since we got here," he asks.

"The buffet is officially open for business," Peeta says with a grin.

Thresh does a little fist pump before turning to ask Rue if she wants anything. She smiles and asks for some cheese and crackers. Thresh then bends down to give his girlfriend a quick kiss before dashing off to the kitchen to get some food.

Darius can be heard coming through the front door and it's not long after that he appears in the living room with Gloss. He has a huge smile on his face and seems to be standing closer to Gloss than usual.

"You're in a much better mood since the last time I saw you. Did Gloss suck you off in the taxi?" Johanna says.

"Your mind is always in the gutter, Johanna," Darius replies. "And I don't need sex to put a smile on my face. I quit the rugby team today."

I raise my eyebrow.

"I thought you would be sad about that," I say.

But Darius only grins wider and squeezes Gloss' waist.

"That's because I have the most amazing boyfriend who has found something even better," Darius replies.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion while Darius presses his forehead against Gloss' and looks down at him with so much love. Gloss gives Darius a little squeeze before turning to look at the rest of us.

"I knew there must be more gay rugby players out there and when I did an online search it seems that most of them have had the same problem as Darius. Fed up with all the homophobic comments a couple of guys in Edinburgh set up a team only for gay rugby players. I gave them a call and they said they would love to have another member of their squad," he explains.

Darius grins as he looks at all of us.

"The season may be over for the next couple of months but I met some of the guys for a beer this afternoon and they all seemed really good lads. I'm actually excited about playing rugby again," he says.

I smile back at him.

"That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!" I exclaim.

Darius' grin grows wider and he then spots that Peeta and I are standing next to each other.

"And you guys are finally in the same room!" he says. "This is turning out to be the best Saturday. I'm getting the shots in to celebrate!"

Everyone nods their heads before Darius turns to call at Madge to ask where the shot glasses are.

"It's too early for shots!" she calls back.

Darius shakes his head.

"You're Scottish. How can you say that?" he says before turning to head into the kitchen.

Needless to say Madge loses the argument and Darius returns later with a tray full of tequila and limes. Thresh and Madge come back through as well and Darius hands them out to everyone. He then takes the last glass and raises it in the air.

"Congratulations Madge for your new flat and getting us all in the same place. Everyone here is awesome!" Darius declares.

We all grin as we raise our glasses in the air and then tip the contents down our throats. I scrunch my nose as the liquid runs down my throat and Darius bangs his glass back down on the chair.

"Who wants another?" he says with a cheeky grin.

* * *

The party is really good. Darius created a playlist that makes us all nostalgic for our time in high school and Madge is the perfect hostess making sure we are never without food or alcohol for long. I spend most of the night laughing and doing silly dance moves with Rue and Madge in between debating theories about my favourite TV shows with Thresh and Gloss.

And it's so easy to slip back into my old ways with Peeta. It's not long before we are swapping in jokes between us. But as much as I enjoy spending time with him again, Peeta's behaviour confuses me. I didn't expect him to completely ignore what happened six months ago and I don't fully relax around him as a result.

Late on in the night, I gently tap him on the elbow and tip my head towards Madge's room.

"Hey. Can we talk?" I ask.

Peeta nods his head.

"Sure," he replies.

I nod my head and we weave our way through the crowd of people to find the quiet in Madge's room. Unsurprisingly her room is in pristine condition with a butterfly duvet matching a butterfly canvas on the wall and everything on her vanity is arranged straight and parallel next to each other. Peeta wanders further into the room but I hover near the door as I turn to look at him with some confusion.

"I don't understand, Peeta. We haven't seen each other in six months and you're acting like everything is normal between us. It's weird," I say.

Peeta sighs and runs a hand through his hair before sitting down on the bed.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just didn't want tonight to be awkward. Particularly for our friends. It's been awkward enough for them as it is," he replies.

I nod my head before walking further into the room and taking a seat next to him on the bed.

"I know. But we can't ignore what happened. It's just going to come back and bite us later," I say.

Peeta nods in agreement.

"I've had a long time to think about everything and I'm finally in a place to talk to you about it without acting wounded," he says.

I give him a small smile as I reach out to place my hand on top of his arm.

"I want to say I'm sorry again for kissing Gale. I'm sorry that I hurt you," I say.

"I forgave you a long time ago for that. I realised pretty quickly how much you regretted it," he replies.

I do. It's the biggest mistake of my life," I say.

Peeta nods his head.

"I needed time to sort my head out. I even talked to my therapist about it. Even though I forgave you, I was still hurt and it took me a while to get over it. And I realised that the space was a good thing for us. For so long I've associated my identity with you and I needed to separate myself from you to realise who I was" he says.

I smile and nod my head.

"I think I know what you mean. I was at such a loss those first few weeks without you because I couldn't remember a time when you were not in my life. But I got through it. I can survive without you even if I didn't like it," I reply.

Peeta smiles as he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I didn't like it either but I'm a more confident person now and I'm in a place where I can trust you again. I was so glad when Madge messaged about this party because I was about to call you anyway," he says. "Staying away from you has been the hardest thing I've ever done."

I let out a sigh of relief as I lean into his hand that is now resting against my cheek.

"So we're okay now? We can be in each other's lives again?" I ask.

Peeta nods his head.

"Yes. And this time I don't want to put any pressure on us. I realised that I spent too much time planning about how we will get back together and imagining our future when we do. So this time I don't want assume anything will happen and live in the moment a bit more," he says.

I smile back at him.

"I like the sound of that," I reply.

Peeta grins and then his hand slides down from my face to grasp my hand in his. For the first time in a long time, I'm perfectly content.

* * *

**A/N: We've only got one more chapter and an epilogue left. I hope you can see that the sepration was good for them both.**


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14_

_24 years old_

I bite my bottom lip as I try to hold the piping bag steadily in my hand. My whole focus is on this cake and I want it to be perfect. Carefully I pipe sunset coloured frosting around the edge of the top tier and halfway round I pause to wipe a drop of sweat off of my forehead.

"You've got orange icing on your forehead, Brainless," Johanna states.

I sigh, a little annoyed that she has interrupted my concentration and put down the piping bag so I can scrub off the frosting from my head.

"Is it all gone now?" I ask.

Johanna grins at me as she nods her head.

"You're all shiny again. Though maybe Peeta would prefer you if you were covered in flour and icing," she replies.

I roll my eyes.

"I told you that Peeta and I aren't putting pressure on ourselves. If anything happens it will happen naturally. We're not trying to impress each other," I say.

Johanna snorts.

"So if you're not trying to impress each other why are you planning his whole birthday party, making him a cake and spending hours organising a very thoughtful gift for him?" Johanna says.

I don't look at her as I wipe away a smudge of frosting from the countertop.

"I'm doing this because he's my friend. He deserves to have a nice birthday," I reply.

"Uh-hu," Johanna replies. "Well I'm your friend too and all you did for my birthday is buy me some records and a six pack of beer."

I don't have a reply for that and Johanna just smirks at me. Eventually she gathers her things and gets up to leave. She brushes past me on her way out.

"You should wear that summery red dress you have. Peeta can't take his eyes off you whenever you wear it," she says with a knowing smile.

I blush a little as she gives me a wink and finally exits the room. Once she is gone I turn back to look at the cake. I have to say I'm a little impressed with myself. I've never made a cake without Peeta before but it looks like I've picked up a few of his tricks. He's always making amazing cakes for everyone else and it's about time someone made him a cake for a change. And I try to tell myself that I don't expect anything in return for doing this for him.

* * *

Johanna may have teased me for making a big deal over Peeta's birthday but the truth is that the two of us have always made a fuss over each other when it came to our birthdays. If I didn't this year it would be weird.

Once I've finished the cake I take a shower and change into the dress that Johanna suggested before grabbing Peeta's present and head out the door for his first surprise. I meet him outside a Michelin star restaurant in Leith and my heart flutters when I see him in dark jeans and pale blue shirt that has been rolled up to his elbows. He smiles so brightly at me as I approach and I don't miss the way his eyes run up and down my body and linger a little longer on my legs in the short dress. I step into his arms immediately when we meet and the hug is so good that I don't want to let go.

Eventually he steps back slightly so there is a small gap between us but he doesn't let go of my arms. His eyes fix onto mine and he gives my hand a little squeeze.

"I have to say that I'm impressed you haven't given away the surprise yet. Though isn't it a little early for eating here?" he says.

"Not when we'll be making what we eat first," I reply with a grin.

Peeta's eyes widen in delight as he turns to look into the restaurant.

"You didn't book Cook School here, did you?" he says with excitement.

"I know your dad liked to take you here and you are always going on about how amazing the food is. It was a no brainer," I reply.

"You shouldn't have. It's too expensive," he says.

I shake my head.

"I'm doing this for purely selfish reasons. Once they've taught us how to make Michelin star style food I fully expect you to recreate these dishes for all of us at home," I reply with a smile.

Peeta chuckles.

"I feel so stupid for not seeing your ulterior motive. You are always going to care more about food than another person," he teases.

I grin broadly back at him.

"Food is a lot more reliable than human beings," I reply.

Peeta laughs and then slides his hand down to slip into mine.

"This is amazing. Thank you. I might even let you lick the spoon in there," he says.

"I'm counting on it," I say.

We share another smile before he pushes the door open and we walk hand in hand into the restaurant.

We're joined by three other pairs inside, a mother and daughter duo, a same sex couple and a couple who are here for their anniversary. We are all handed aprons and chef hats and Peeta puts his hat on at a slight angle and turns to me with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Does this make me look more street if I wear it like this?" he asks as he poses.

I laugh as I shake my head.

"Peeta, you have the least street cred of anyone I know. A chef's hat is certainly not going to change that," I reply.

Peeta grins at me as he puts his arms back down by his side and then straightens the chef's hat. He then reaches out to fix my own hat on my head.

"You in a chef's hat and apron on the other hand has always been one of my fantasies," he says.

"I know," I say fixing my stare onto his. "But in your fantasy I am wearing nothing else."

Peeta's pupils dilate a little at my words and he glances down at my chest. I don't second guess about whether I'm stepping over the mark by saying that. It felt like the natural thing to say.

However we don't get to flirt some more as the head chef comes through to introduce himself.

"Welcome to Cook School! I'm so glad you have all joined me today. We're going to make some amazing food together," he declares.

Peeta turns to me with a look of pure delight and he particularly bounces on the spot with excitement. When the head chef asks us to gather around, Peeta dashes straight to his side and then watches with intense concentration as the chef talks us through the first recipe. After we are all sent back to our stations to start cooking, Peeta lingers for a moment asking questions that I would never have thought of. When he eventually joins me back at our station he is practically giddy.

"I never thought to season my salmon that way but it makes perfect sense. It's really going to elevate the taste," he says.

I smile back at him as I set out the equipment we need.

"You're such a cookery nerd," I say.

"Damn right, I am. Wait until you hear me talk about how amazing these ovens are," he replies.

I laugh as he starts raving about the kitchen facilities. I love how he owns the fact he's obsessed with cooking. He talks so passionately about it and I could listen to him for hours go on about it even though I have no clue what he's talking about most of the time. Just the way he talks about food makes it sound so interesting.

He's in his absolute element as the chef talks us through all the recipes and gives us tips about technique. Peeta is by far the best person here but he has never been someone who brags and he helps me and the other students when we find something hard. He helps the gay couple sauté their onions and makes them laugh as he tells them a story how he and his brothers swapped the sugar for salt to mess with their dad when they were kids. He then gives the daughter university advice as he shows her mum the best way to cut the vegetables. It's a joy to watch him and it just reminds me why I love him so much.

Afterwards we all sit together in the restaurant as we eat the dishes we have created and my cheeks start to hurt from all the smiling and laughing we do. By the time we leave, we are giving everyone in the group hugs and Peeta even gives the young girl his number and tells her he's happy to give her any more university advice if she needs it.

He gives me the biggest grin when we finally leave the restaurant.

"That was so much fun. I had the best time and learned so much. I can't wait to try that venison recipe on my family next weekend," he says.

"This is only the start of the day. I've got plenty more surprises up my sleeve," I say.

Peeta raises his eyebrow at me.

"Really? I don't know what I've done to deserve all this effort," he replies.

"Well you are one of my favourite people," I reply with a grin.

"Only one of your favourites. I thought I would have been top spot," he jokes.

"Madge is taking me to her parents' house in Tuscany so you didn't really have much of a chance," I reply.

Peeta laughs and I then reach into my bag to pull out a neatly wrapped present in blue paper with an orange bow on top.

"I'm joking of course. And I think it's time for your next surprise," I say. "Happy Birthday."

Peeta smiles at me as he takes the present but also shakes his head.

"You really shouldn't have got me anything else. Cook School was more than enough," he says.

"This cost me a fiver. And I know how much you'll like it," I reply.

Peeta sighs and nods his head in defeat before slowly unwrapping the gift. As the paper falls away he finds a thick navy notebook with some fancy gold writing on the front.

"Wheaton and Peeta Mellark's recipes," he reads off the front cover.

Peeta's eyebrows furrow for a moment but then widen in awe as he flicks the notebook open and spies the first recipe in his dad's handwriting. A look of complete awe crosses his face as he flicks through the dozens of pages of recipes he and his father created.

"I can't believe you did this," Peeta says.

I smile as I shrug my shoulder.

"Your dad had so many great qualities but organisation wasn't one of them. I thought it would be a good idea to have all his recipes in one place instead of on lots of different scraps of paper lying all over the kitchen. Your mum helped me find them all and I've left some space at the back for you to add all the new recipes you create," I say.

Peeta spends a few more moments flicking through the book before eventually stopping and pulling his head back up to look at me. There is a hint of a tear at the corner of one of his eyes.

"Thank you. This is the best gift anyone has ever given me. I know my dad would have loved it too," he says.

"I think I know you pretty well, Peeta Mellark. I knew this would make you happy," I reply.

Peeta nods his head and then steps forward to wrap me in his arms and hold me close. Neither of us say anything and my heart swells at seeing him look so touched.

* * *

When we finally let go of each other we catch a bus to the east end and meet up with the others in a pub that has a pool tables and dart boards. As we arrive Johanna punches the air in delight as she lands a bullseye on the dart board.

"Hell yes! I don't know why you keep betting me, Darius. You know I'm fucking awesome at darts!" she declares.

Darius hangs his head as Johanna holds out her hand expectedly and he digs into his pocket to pull a tenner out of his wallet.

"I knew I should have bought you a tequila shot before we started this bet," he says.

"It wouldn't have worked anyway. I get better at darts the drunker I get," she boasts.

Gloss laughs and then slides his arm around Darius' waist.

"Don't worry, babe. I don't love you for your dart skills," he says, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Johanna grins.

"Thank God for that. Now I just need to find a guy who isn't intimidated by a girl who can throw a pointed object with incredible accuracy," she replies.

"You know what, I might know a guy," Gloss says.

Johanna raises her eyebrow, intrigued and Gloss nods his head in confirmation.

Peeta and I finally reach the group and we stand side by side so closely that our arms lightly brush against each other.

"Johanna could really use the set up, Gloss. Her vibrator died last week from overuse," I tease.

Johanna raises her eyebrows at me.

"Don't play that game with me, Katniss because we both know I'm better at it," she replies.

She then digs into her handbag and pulls out a couple of square foil packets.

"Happy Birthday, Peeta. I have a feeling you may be needing these tonight," she says.

I blush deeply as she passes him two condoms and then glower at her. But Johanna just smiles wickedly at me while Peeta just laughs it off.

"Thanks, Johanna. It's been so long since I've had sex that my ones at home are out of date," he replies.

I peek at him out the corner of my eye to gage what he's really thinking about Johanna's comment. I don't want him to think that I'm doing all this stuff for him because I want a fuck at the end of the day. He means so much more to me than that.

But Peeta has never been a person that gets easily embarrassed and when he does eventually look my way it's just to give me a soft smile before his attention turns back to his other friends in the group. Rue and Thresh move up to make space for him and I try not to over think his reaction.

Darius is still looking a bit despondent about having lost another bet to Johanna so Gloss gives his hand a squeeze and tips his head to the bar.

"How about I buy you a tequila to cheer your up?" Gloss suggests.

Darius nods his head slowly.

"Okay. But remember tequila makes me think I am Ricky Martin and I will be singing _Viva_ _La_ _Vida_ _Loca_ on the way home tonight," Darius replies.

Gloss laughs.

"Oh, I'm counting on it. You know I love it when you strip tease to a bit of Ricky," he replies.

Darius grins back at him and both of them stand up to go to the bar.

"Wait a sec. I'll come with you," I say.

I then look over to catch Peeta's eye.

"Do you want an Innis and Gunn?" I ask.

Peeta smiles broadly as he nods his head before going back to telling Thresh and Rue about Cook School this morning. Gloss then takes Darius' hand and the three of us weave through the crowd to get to the bar.

Darius perks up as soon as he sees the array of alcohol and slings an arm around Gloss' shoulders.

"Thanks, babe. Tequila will definitely make Johanna's bragging easier to handle," he says placing a sloppy kiss on Gloss' cheek.

Gloss laughs as he leans his head against his boyfriend's and gives Darius' waist a squeeze.

"I think it's safe to say that I know you better than anyone at this point," he replies.

Darius grins and I can't help but envy the ease of their relationship now. They are each other's best friend and their affection for each other radiates off them. I can't lie to myself. I want that with Peeta.

Darius starts whispering things into Gloss' ear as the barman goes off to sort out our order and by the look on Gloss' face I'm pretty sure the things Darius are saying are far from innocent. As I wait patiently for the drinks a muscular man tries to squeeze past us but ends up accidently knocking into Darius and Gloss. Darius stops whispering in Gloss' ear as he is jostled and the big man puts his hands up in apology.

"Sorry, mate. Didn't mean to knock you," he says.

But as Darius and his eyes meet I suddenly realise that we know this man.

"Brutus…" Darius says.

It's his old rugby team mate and captain and as I scan the rest of the group with him I realise that quite a few of Darius' old team are with him.

Gloss instantly puts a protective arm around Darius and Brutus' eyes widen a little in surprise when he sees them together.

"So it really wasn't a joke. You've gone 100% poofter," he says.

"I really wish you wouldn't use that word," Darius says. He then turns to Gloss with a loving smile. "Yes. I am gay. And completely, utterly and hopelessly in love with this guy."

Gloss smiles back at him and Darius reaches out to caress his cheek before pulling him down for a deep kiss. Tongues slip into mouths and Brutus' eyes widen in alarm. A few of the other guys look a little shocked too but I notice a couple smile in happiness.

Brutus doesn't know what to say once Darius and Gloss have pulled away so turns to grunt at the rest of the team.

"Let's go boys. Bonnie and her hot friends are at the bar across the road," he says.

Darius just smiles at them Brutus leads them out. Most can't look Darius in the eye but a mousey haired guy claps Darius on the back as he walks past.

"Congratulations, mate. You look really happy," he says.

Darius smiles grows broader as the rest walk past and Gloss looks at him with so much pride.

"You handled that perfectly," he says.

"I couldn't have done any of this without you supporting me," Darius replies.

Gloss smiles at him again before they both reach in for yet another kiss.

* * *

We stay in the pub for a few hours before I suggest we all head back to mine and Johanna's before mini golf. Everyone nods their heads in agreement and I get anxious and excited in equal measure over Peeta's next surprise. I have spent hours making Peeta a birthday cake and I just hope that it's a least half as good as the ones Peeta normally makes.

Darius is true to his word that tequila makes him believe he is Ricky Martin and we are all treated to his horrendous renditions of his greatest hits on the way back to the flat. Everyone tells hm to shut up and takes the piss out of his vocals but if anything this just seems to spur him on. By the time we eventually get back to the flat he's going on about how Ricky's songs are masterpieces and hits up Spotify to prove his point.

"I mean how could you not want to dance when you hear this beat?" he says as he gets on _Viva_ _La_ _Vida_ _Loca_.

I laugh and shake my head before sneaking into the kitchen to put the candles on Peeta's cake. I can hear Madge shouting at Darius to put something else on as I rummage about the kitchen drawers trying to find a lighter. I'm so focused on my search that I don't hear him come in until he is right behind me.

"Do you need help with anything?" Peeta asks.

He gives me a fright and I jump a little, banging my hand on the counter and spinning around quickly to look at him.

"Shit! You're not supposed to be in here. I haven't finished it," I say.

Peeta raises his eyebrow and then peers around my shoulder to spy the cake that I'm failing miserably to hide behind my back.

"You made me a cake?" he asks pleasantly surprised.

I nod my head as I rub my banged hand and step aside to let him see my creation.

"I didn't want you to see it until I'd lit the candles and brought it through as we all sang happy birthday," I admit.

Peeta smiles in delight as he steps forward to get a better look. I'm suddenly nervous that it won't live up to his standards so I start rambling about my inspiration behind it.

"I just thought that with all the cakes you make no one ever makes a cake for you. So I thought I would try and put all your favourite things on it. It's lemon drizzle, you favourite flavour and orange because sunset orange is your favourite colour. I tried to pipe on little chef hats and paintbrushes but they came out a bit splodgey and they are supposed to be Harry Potter's glasses because…"

But I'm caught off from what I'm saying because Peeta grabs my head and pulls me up for a deep kiss. The kiss takes me completely by surprise and it takes me a couple of seconds to catch up. But as soon as I do I wrap my arms tightly around his middle and open my mouth wide to let him in. His tongue tangles with mine and it feels like my whole body sings in relief.

I lose track of how long we stand there reacquainting ourselves with every cervice in our mouths but eventually the kiss slows to a stop and I press my forehead to Peeta's as he keeps my head in his hands.

"Why did you do that?" I ask.

We've spent so many years tiptoeing around each other that it almost doesn't seem real that this is happening again.

"Because I love you, Katniss. I always have. Today has reminded me just how much I love you. You have done so much for me today to make my birthday special and this cake is incredible," he says.

"You haven't tasted it yet," I joke as his thumb brushes against my cheek.

Peeta smiles as he shakes his head.

"It won't matter because you made it and that's enough for me," he says.

I sigh in content and slip my hands around his neck. I make sure I'm looking straight into his eyes as I say my next words.

"I love you, Peeta. I don't want to fuck this up again," I say.

Peeta's hands slide down my sides until they rest on my waist and he gives me a little squeeze.

"I'm done fucking things up too. We've both made mistakes but I think we've finally moved past them," he replies.

I tangle my fingers in the hairs on the back of his neck and my heart fills with so much warmth at being back in his arms again. Peeta smiles.

"Finally the timing is right," he says.

I smile and nod my head.

"The timing is definitely right now," I reply.

I then push up on my toes to kiss him again. Peeta squeezes me tight as our mouths move in perfect synchronisation and my whole body tingles in a way that only he has ever made me feel.

I can't be sure exactly what the future holds but I can feel it deep inside me that the timing is right now. There is no distance or recent exes or sudden deaths keeping us apart. I know what I want and I want him. And I am going to work damn hard to make sure this works and we are happy. And I'm going to tell him all this as soon as we find a time to stop kissing.

"Thank fucking God!" Johanna voice suddenly cuts through the air. "You're welcome for the condoms by the way."

We both laugh as we reluctantly pull away from each other. Automatically my body slots into the side of Peeta's body and he places a protective arm around me.

"And once again, Johanna, you can take joy in that fact that you were right," Peeta says.

Johanna smirks at us.

"This better work this time because I don't think I can still be friends with you if it doesn't," she replies.

I smile as I look up at Peeta lovingly.

"Don't worry, Johanna. I'm not planning on letting this one go," I say.

* * *

**A/N: And we've nearly reached the end! Only an epilogue left. I think this journey has been even bumpier than usual. I hope you enjoyed it.**


	15. Chapter 15

_Epilogue_

_28 years old_

Madge reaches out to adjust the flower crown on my head and beams at me with joy.

"You look incredible, Katniss," she says.

I smile gratefully back at her before turning to check out my appearance in the gold trimmed full length mirror. I haven't really stopped smiling from the moment I woke up but my smile gets bigger when I take in my whole appearance.

Today I'm marrying Peeta.

I wear a long white dress with floaty skirt and lace bodice that dips down low on my back. A simple veil is attached to my crown of Scottish wildflowers and my bouquet is a mixture of thistles and roses. Even I can admit that I am positively glowing.

I've heard people talk about nerves on their wedding day but as I woke up this morning all I felt was excitement. I'm marrying my best friend and from the moment he left me a trail of cakes leading me to him down on one knee and with a ring in his hand I've been desperate for this day to come. It feels like my whole life has been leading up to this moment and all the toing and froing we did in our early twenties makes this day seem more special. We had to work to get to this point but it's a lot more satisfying as a result.

Johanna shoves another glass of champagne in my hand but I shake my head and hand it back to her.

"I'm okay thanks," I say.

Johanna raises her eyebrow.

"You better not be pregnant," she replies.

I laugh and shake my head.

"Definitely not. I just want a clear head when I walk down that aisle," I say.

"Suit yourself," Johanna says before tipping the contents down her own throat.

Meanwhile I catch Rue's eye across the room as she pretends to sip on her own glass of champagne. Her and Thresh got married last summer and she pulled me aside at the beginning of the week to tell me she was pregnant but she and Thresh aren't going to say anything until after the wedding is over so as not to steal our thunder.

I couldn't care less about our thunder and hugged her tight in delight, telling them I couldn't be happier for them both.

It really does feel like we've all grown up now and that long afternoons spent in the pub are slowly going to fade. Thresh and Rue are going to have a baby, Darius, Gloss, Peeta and I will all be married, Madge has almost qualified as a surgeon and Johanna is about to move to London to display her work in a gallery down there. Our social lives are going to change and I am so glad I will always have Peeta beside me.

"Are you ready for this?" Johanna asks. "It's taken you both long enough to get here."

"Absolutely. I never really stopped loving him," I reply.

"That was what was so frustrating watching you both. It was clear to us all that you were both still in love with each other. We came pretty close to staging an intervention at one point," Madge says.

I raise my eyebrow at them.

"Damn right, brainless. We were planning it just before you got together with Gale. We planned to lock you in a cupboard at my art studio and weren't going to let you out until you had literally kissed and made up," she replies.

"But then you fucked Gale so we had to abort the plan," Rue adds.

I hang my head.

"Let's not talk about Gale on my wedding day," I reply.

Madge grins broadly at me.

"Hey. We don't blame you. He was hot. I would have jumped on him too," she says.

"Well I heard he's back from the Amazon now, maybe I should give him your number," I tease.

Madge laughs before checking her watch.

"We have half an hour before the cars are coming. Is there anything else that needs doing?" she asks.

I shake my head.

"I don't think so. Thank you for being pretty awesome bridesmaids," I say.

"Madge should take most of the credit. She had a colour coded ring binder and everything," Johanna replies.

I smile before pulling them all in for a hug.

"Seriously. You guys are great friends," I say.

For once Johanna doesn't make a snarky comment and I enjoy this moment with people that have always been there for me.

When we pull back I glance at the small clock on the bedside table and realise I've still got time.

"I'm just going to pop out for a moment. There is something I've got to do," I say.

All the girls furrow their eyebrows in confusion but I don't elaborate further as I head towards the door.

"Okay. But don't be too long and don't get your dress dirty!" Madge calls at me as I walk out the door.

I laugh as I step out into the corridor and head down to the room at the end of the end. I can hear a lot of laughter float through the door and I smile broadly as I knock on it. There is another round of laughter as Darius opens the door and his eyes widen in surprise when he sees me. He quickly steps outside and closes the door behind him.

"What are you doing here, Katniss? You know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the wedding!" he exclaims.

"I don't believe in luck. And you're hardly one to talk. You and Gloss were having sex ten minutes before your ceremony started," I reply.

"Fair point," Darius says with a cheeky smile. "But you know Peeta is a stickler for tradition."

"Then you need to tell him that he needs to get over himself because his future wife wants to see him," I say.

"If it was anyone else I would try to talk you round but I know how stubborn you are," Darius replies. "Just give me a sec to get everyone else out."

"Thank you," I say, taking his hand to give it a grateful squeeze.

Darius then slips back into the hotel room and the laughter finally stops from within it. After a couple of moments the door opens again and Darius, Thresh and Peeta's brothers all file out. Peeta's brothers quickly scan me in my dress and Rye lets out a low whistle.

"Looking fit, Katniss. I always thought you were too good for my brother," he says.

I laugh and then he steps in to kiss me on the cheek.

"Welcome to the family. Finally," he says.

I watch them all walk down the corridor before taking a breath and entering Peeta's hotel room.

Once again my smile gets broader as I see him looking handsome in a kilt. He smiles too but his eyes soon widen in awe as he sees me for the first time in my dress. I walk over to him and his hand instinctively reaches out to pull in by the waist.

"Katniss, you look amazing. You are so beautiful," he says.

I smile as I reach out to brush a curl that has already lost its battle with his hair gel.

"Thank you," I reply. "I just couldn't wait to see you any longer."

Peeta grins as his hand reaches up to caress my cheek. I sigh as I lean into his touch.

"Tell me about it. I was awake at 4am because I was so excited. I love you so much, Katniss," he says.

"I've never loved anyone the way I do you. I can't wait to be your wife," I reply.

Peeta nods his head before leaning in for a kiss. My hand reaches up to grasp the wrist on the hand that continues to hold my head and I don't think I have ever been so content in my life.

Peeta's thumb continues to caress my cheek once we have pulled back and I grin at him.

"You've got lipstick all over your mouth," I say as I reach out to wipe it away. "Madge is going to get mad at me for ruining my make-up."

Peeta laughs as he rubs the last remains of his face before reaching down to take my hands.

"I don't care. Ruining your make-up is worth it for a kiss," he says. "I'm just so happy right now. I've thought about the day for way too long."

"Is it what you imagined?" I ask.

"It's better. Because everything we've been through has made me love you more than I could imagine when I was eighteen," he replies. "I just wish Dad was here to see it."

"I wish he was here too. He definitely had more faith in us than I did at certain points," I reply.

Peeta nods.

"He actually tried to convince me not to break up with you before I went to uni. He told me that when you love someone as much as we did then distance wouldn't have been an issue. He was the loudest person at a party but he was also the wisest man I knew," Peeta says.

I give Peeta's hand a little squeeze.

"He'd be proud of you," I say.

"He'd be proud of us," Peeta replies.

I smile again before reaching up for a brief kiss.

However we are then interrupted by a knocking on the door.

"Peet, you need to straighten up your clothes and come out. Your car is here. We need to get going," Darius' voice floats through the door.

Peeta looks at me with a grin.

"I really don't want to leave you in this beautiful dress but I see you soon I guess," he says.

I laugh.

"I'll see you soon," I say, reaching up for a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," Peeta says between kisses.

We're both reluctant to part but Darius bangs on the door a bit more impatiently.

"Seriously, mate, you need to hurry up!" he calls.

Peeta and I manage to squeeze in two more quick kisses before Peeta eventually pries himself away from me. He straightens his tie as he moves towards the door and stops for just a moment before he opens it. He turns to me with a cheeky smile.

"And, Katniss… I told you I was right about us being endgame," he says.

I laugh at his cheesy line but at the same time can't imagine spending the rest of my life we anyone else.

* * *

**Thank you so much for everyone that has read/followed/reviewed this story. It's been a bumpy ride but they eventually got their HEA.**


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